Disclaimer: I do not own the Monkees, but I do own my own original characters. So there.
All Things Considered
Part Six
Chris and Andys home
Valerie and Mike summed Andy, Chris and the other Monkees up on what
happened at the diner down the road. After thinking for a minute, Chris got a weird gleam in her eye.
"A wedding!" She smiled. "Thats great!"
"Its not great, its a disaster." Valerie moaned.
"Well I think it is." Chris said who was now wearing a creepy smile that made Valerie want to hide in the closet.
"Its some unfortunate...accident." Mike said. "Ok its my fault." He said to prevent from whatever glare Valerie had in store for them. "I said it to get out of going to some hideous family reunion."
"Its that time again?" Chris temporarily lost the gleam in her eye. A look of pure disgust quickly took its place.
"Yes." Valerie nodded. "And she wants the wedding to happen at the reunion."
"I told you what happened the next time you mentioned the reunion. We may have to pack now hon." Chris said to a distracted Andy. He and Davy had been deeply involved in a staring contest. "Andrew!" She said sharply.
"What?" He asked breaking contact with Davy who pumped his fist in the air with victory. "Dammit hon. I could have won that."
"You lost a long time ago." Micky informed him. "He can blink his eyes so fast you can't see them. See that?" He asked.
"See what?" Andy asked.
"Exactly." Micky smirked.
"The reunion isnt at the same old icky state park they usually go to." Valerie said. "She left too quickly for us to tell her that we were kidding or something. She may already be setting up a chapel for us."
"Its been ten minutes." Peter said astonished.
"She works quickly." Valerie said. "Need cupcakes for school? She made them yesterday."
"Now I want cupcakes." Andy moaned from next to Chris.
"Forget the cupcakes." Chris said. "Do I really want to be involved with your mom? Does she remember me?"
"In the 'she got pregnant before she married life lesson' kind of way then yeah." Valerie sighed.
"Great. She will never let that go." Chris ran a hand through her dark hair.
"I need you on this." Valerie said, deciding to come to the point. "We need to fake a wedding."
"Fake it? Why can't it be real?" Chris asked. "I've been waiting for this for years!" She looked at Mike. "Don't you want it to be real?" she asked appealing to him.
"Well..." Mike said.
"I want to get married, in my own time and place." Valerie said looking over at Mike.
"It would be so much simpler to go tell her you were kidding." Peter said softly.
"You ever try to talk to a brick wall?" Valerie asked Peter. He shook his head. "You'd have better luck with that than trying with my mom. When she gets an idea set into her head, she will stick with it till the very end." Peter nodded, and "oh" sound coming from his mouth.
"I'm still hung up on why this can't be the real thing." Chris whined. "But to make you happy, I will try."
Mike stood up and stretched. "Valerie, outside." He put his hands in his pockets and went outside.
"Uh oh, hes changed to one word caveman talk. He's serious." Valerie glanced at the door. "Be back."
"If he tries to hit you with a club, dodge it." Chris offered with a chuckle.
"Whats your deal?" Valerie asked as she saw Mike over at the car.
"This fake wedding plan. I don't like it. Chris sure as hell doesn't like it." Mike said. "Well its more me than her."
"Chris has been planning my wedding since her own." Valerie said. "You won't see it, its there, but she has a huge wedding book. It's pictures of brides from now and yesterday. She had started it in tenth grade."
"Early start." Mike mumbled.
"I know." Valerie replied. "I told her then that she could get married and pump out the kids, and I could be the crazy Aunt who lets them have a glass of wine at dinner." Mike gave her a weird look. "That was before I found out what wine could do to you so don't look at me like that. Anyway, we found our dream guys. Well one dream and one nightmare. We planned a double wedding. But then things changed, especially when one gets pregnant a months before the ceremony. In order to be married before little Tommy popped out, they rushed the ceremony. And you know what happened with me, so it goes without saying. She been collecting clippings ever since for my first official, Vegas not counting, wedding."
"I guess saying Chris is looking forward to it is an understatement." Mike said looking over at the ocean. Valerie nodded. "Look," he said "I want to be with you, you want to be with me." Valerie nodded at this logic. "Maybe something, God or maybe the Wizard of Fate is in control of this. Maybe there is a reason why this happened this way. On any other day your mom, space cadet as she is..."
"...hey I'm the only one who can call her that for now..."
"You know what I mean." Mike said holding up his hand. "Something is having us get married now, and I don't think there is any reason why we shouldnt do it. Lets not make waves, or we may sink the boat."
"Coming up with a lot of metaphors, aren't ya?" Valerie asked with a cock of her head.
"I'm really just running off at the mouth." Mike said scratching his hat with his right hand. "What do you think?"
"I'm thinking, ok, lets do it." Valerie said.
"Why didn't you stop me if you decided already?" Mike said.
"I liked seeing you ramble on." Valerie smirked. "Why did we come out here?"
"Whatever Jones put in that chili is lethal and not agreeing with Andy." Mike waved a hand in front of his face. "Let's go back in. If he has anymore of that stuff, it may be grounds for divorce."
"Andrew if you have any more chili it will be grounds for divorce." Chris threatened as Andy got another small bowl of Davys concoction.
"But its so good." Andy whined with the bowl in his hand.
"You'll be sleeping on the couch fartman." Chris said pointing at Andy.
"Why unleash him on the rest of us innocent souls?" Valerie asked as they came in the front door.
"As long as Captain Smelly is not anywhere near me." Chris waved a hand in front of her face. "Whats up?"
"Its not going to be a fake wedding." Valerie said. "We are going to get married for real."
Chris screamed so loud Andy dropped his food on the ground. "Oh wow! I gotta get the book. This so great!" She said jumping up and down. She clapped three time in sucession. She ran over to Mike and Valerie and hugged them both. "I'll be back!"
As soon as Chris left the room, Valerie glared at Mike. "See what you started?"
"I won't see whats next." Mike said looking at a watch he didn't have. "We got a gig at Bogo Pogos."
"Ooh yea, right." Micky said as they got out of their seat. Davy collected the rest of the chili he had brought over.
"I don't want to see you divorced mate." He said to Andy.
"Oh thats just talk. I've smelled worse." He smiled.
"Sadly I know what hes talking about." Valerie said. "We meet Aunt Kate tomorrow, we have to tell her whas happened. She'll probably flip."
"Me too." Mike said. He kissed her on the cheek. "Call you later."
"I'll be up." Valerie waved. "See you later!"
A loud bang on the table behind her startled Valerie. She turned to see Chris with a huge book on the table."Here we are! Lets get cracking."
Valerie rolled her eyes, then joined her friend at the table.
