Disclaimer: I do not own the Monkees, but I do own my own original characters. So there.
All Things Considered
Part Five
The Diner Place
It was working out to be quite a day, Valerie realized. First she fell off a roof, and now her mother was unexpectedly in town. She had never told her that she moved from the first rat trap she was renting, so she wasn't sure how she would find her. It was a bit of luck that she ran into at the corner diner where she and Mike were eating, otherwise she would have missed her completely.
Valeries mother came over and gave her a big hug. She didn't completely wrap her fingers around her back, Valerie noticed she that her mother had had her nails done recently.
"It's so good to see you." Valeries mother Clairice said. "It's been a long time!"
"It has been!" Valerie smiled. It had been awhile since Valerie had been in more than one spot for a lengthy amount of time. First she was on a tour, then the trip to Vegas. "How are you?"
"Starving." Clairice said as she sat down. "Well not all the time ad you can very well tell!" She said patting her side. "Momma don't say no to the buffet table!" She looked at Valerie. "Though you could stand to once in a while."
Valerie tried to keep the moan from escaping her lips. She wasn't exactly bean pole skinny but she never felt thin enough in her mothers eyes. After a while she just smiled and let it wash over her head. She was happy, she didn't care what her mother thought...most of the time.
"Have you had lunch?" Mike asked. "We can get you something."
"Why thank you young man." Clairice smiled. "Is he someone you know?" She asked Valerie.
"Mom, this is Michael Nesmith." Valerie said touching his hand. "He's my boyfriend."
"Thats very nice." Clairice said completely ignoring her. "Is there a menu for this place?"
"I can go order you something." Valerie said popping up. "I can have Mike help me"
"You do that. Just make sure it isn't something somebody might find on the freeway. No gravy." Clairice said as she laid her hands on the table. "I'm gonna people watch!" She said turning a little in her seat.
Valerie grunted to Mike and nodded at the counter.
Mike followed her to the far side of the diner where the menu is hung.
"Oh lordy lord." Valerie said sighing. "I don't pray...ever...but God give me the strengh to survive lunch with my mother." She moaned.
"She's a little bit of a handful." Mike looked over at Clairice who was filing one of her nails. "Kinda like someone I know."
"Heaven forbid." Valerie frowned. "If you are around when I am that age" she said pointing over to the table "and I turn into that, you are more than welcome to shoot me."
"She isn't like that all the time is she?" Mike asked as he ordered Clairice a small chefs salad.
"No." Valerie said. "Whats worse is that I know what she is here for."
"What?" Mike asked as he picked up a plastic knife and fork for the salad.
"Every five years my family gets together in town." Valerie explained. "My mother has five brothers, she is the only sister. I have several nieces, nephews...what have you." Valerie said using her hand to count. "This year is the fifth year since the last one. I promised her before I met you that I would take her up there this time. I don't want to do it. Last time I took Chris with me. They kept trying to match her with single cousins I have never set my eyes on...ever! She told me if she asked me to come with her the next time, she would move and leave no forwarding address."
"Whats so bad about this family shin dig? My folk have some pretty good ones." Mike said thoughtfully.
"Picture several other people like my mom, only much much worse. Its just something I want to avoid. I know she is here to remind me of it coming up."
"When?" Mike said. "We could get an out of town gig. You play the accordian right?" He smirked.
"Don't even joke about that." Valerie said, trying not to laugh herself. "I hate accordians. My Uncle Mo plays one. He thinks hes the next Lawrence Welk!"
Mike reacted with a sound that sounded like "Yi!"
"Exactly." Valerie nodded. "So what are we going to do?"
"I'll handle it." Mike said. "I can think of some good things once in a while too."
"What are you going to do?" Valerie asked as Mike picked up some napkins to bring to Valeries mom.
"You'll see. Leave it to me." Mike shot her a reassuring look as they got back to their table.
"So Val, hon" Clairice said as Mike handed her the salad. "the big reunion is coming up! You said you would take me."
Valerie made a "help me!" look with her eyes, they became very wide.
"When is it?" Mike as he randomly played with a sald shaker.
"Two weeks from now. It'll be closer to town this year so we won't ever have to go too far, isn't that great? Its usually at some godawful picnic area, but I got to pick this year!" Clairice smiled. She poured some vinegar on her salad. She poured so much on that Valerie wanted to ask her if she wanted some salad with her dressing, but she kept her mouth shut.
"I can't go." Valerie said.
"Why not? You promised." Clairice pouted and put the vinegar bottle down.
Five years ago, Valerie thought. Instead she said. "I got plans. I'm sorry. A lot of things changed."
"Such as?" Clairice asked.
"I live with Chris and her husband. They have two kids." Valerie explained. "I met a nice guy."
"You still hang out with Christiana?" Clairice said using Chris's full name. "She never was no good, she got 'in trouble' before she was even married!"
"Take that back." Valerie said. She moved to say something else before Mike stopped her with a hand movement.
"We're going on a vacation." Mike said. "We are going on our honeymoon."
"Honeymoon? This is news to me," Clairice said looking at Mike.
"Me too." Valerie said only loud enough for Mike to hear.
"Yeah. Val and I are going to Las Vegas, get married. Maybe get rich in the process." Mike smiled. Valerie rolled her eyes.
"I can't have that happen." Clairice said stiffly.
"Why not?" Valerie asked. "Its not like its a shotgun wedding or anything." She added but her mother failed to notice.
"You are my only daughter, and you want to have your wedding far away? I can't have that happen." Clairice's lips twist with looked like a pout of agony. "I know!" She exclaimed. Valerie thought if she squinted she could see the tiny candle of brainpower over her moms head. "We'll have the wedding at the reunion!"
"What?" Mike and Valerie said together.
"We'll have the reunion and the wedding at the same time! Oh this will be so fun. I am so smart." Clairice pronounced with a glow of happiness. "I gotta make a phone call, no two phone calls." She got off of her seat. "Several phone calls! Oh this will be great. My babys finally getting married." She picked up what was left of her salad and tossed it. "I'll call you later sweetie!"
Mike and Valerie sat at the table in silence for several minutes. Mike held up a finger. "What the hell just happened?" Valerie socked him the shoulder. "OW!"
"That was your idea? I would have happier if you told her we were being abducted by aliens!" Valerie said putting her head down. "And now she thinks we are getting married."
"What does she mean finally getting married?" Mike asked. "And what was that thing about Chris?"
"Oh to her Elijah doesn't count or exist." Valerie said answering one of the questions.
"I like her view on that." Mike pointed out.
"With Chris, its different." Valerie sighed. "Shes very old fashioned. The 'get married then have the baby' kind of old fashioned."
"Oh yeah." Mike nodded. "So now what?"
"We'll go back to my place, and try to figure this out. Maybe Chris, Andy and the guys will have an answer for us." Valerie said as they left the diner. She walked a little slowly.
"You ok?" Mike asked with a little concern.
"I'm ok. I just feel a little weird." Valerie said touhing her stomach. "Probably something I ate."
