Disclaimer: I do not own the Monkees, but I do own my own original characters. So there.
All Things Considered
Part Ten
Valerie holds up a finger. "In the interest of time we're gonna speed the story up..."
"Now hold on there." Mike said. "We told the readers that it was Bermuda Triangle time right?" Valerie nods. "We're cheating them by not telling them everything that happened that night."
"It was weird, and bad." Valerie sighs.
"Yea, but so far we have not held back on anything, so why start now?" Mike asked. "I think thats a reasonable question."
Valerie sighs. "Okay, but some of this stuff you'll hear for the first time."
"Its ok." Mike said. "We know how it turns out."
"Ok." Valerie looks up again. "After we got back home Mike and the guys went to a gig. Elijah..."
"What?" Mike said startled.
"...stopped me on the side of the road to have a chat." Valerie looks at Mike again. "You said you would listen, and you'll listen."
"Whatever."
"What?"
"Continue." Mike waves his hand in her direction. He starts playing with a piece of string on his hat. "How long has that been there?"
That afternoon
Valerie, Chris and Valeries mom Clairice and Aunt Kate had arrived at Chris's place. Andy was waiting outside with a small bowl in his hand.
"Don't look for the rest of the chili." Andy said with a burp. "Excuse me." He pardoned himself.
"I wasn't looking." Chris said as she kissed him on the cheek. "You need several breath mints." Chris leaned down to her kids. "Go help find daddy some of those breath mints." She hugged them as they ran to join their father.
A horn honking distracted the quartet. It was Elijah again in his car.
"That boy is harder to get rid of than year old fruitcake." Aunt Kate opined.
"What does he want?" Chris said squinting at him.
"Probably nothing." Valerie said. "And its going to stay that way."
Valerie shielded her eyes from the sun as she approached the drivers side of Elijahs car.
"What do you want?" Valerie asked.
"Is that any way to treat an old friend?" Elijah smiled.
"An old friend, no. You, absolutely." Valerie grimaced.
"I just wanted to congratulate the beaming bride. Is that so wrong?" Before Valerie could answer he leaned out the car window. "When is the wedding? Can I kiss the bride?" He raised his eyebrows in attempt to be alluring. All this was lost on Valerie however who tried hard not to roll her eyes.
"Thank you, for what thats worth." Valerie finally said. "I gotta go, we're hemming a wedding dress."
"Ah yes, meeting your ex and your future inlaws and your mother at the same time, kinda awkward eh?" Elijah smiled as he gunned his engine. "I know awkward. Me grammy used to like to go shopping without pants on. She said it was no shirt, no shoes and nothing about pants." He shook his head. "She was a crazy one."
"Goodbye Elijah." Valerie said walking around the front of the car.
"See you later, hon." Elijah waved.
"No. Goodbye Elijah." Valerie said not turning back. She didn't even turn to watch him driving off. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew it wasn't going to be the last time she saw the jerk.
A loud scream from inside made Valerie run in. She tried to detect where the scream had come from. She followed her hunch and ended up in the living room. There, in tatters on the ground, was Chris's wedding dress. It looked like a large dog had gotten in and chewed it to bits.
"What happened?" Valerie asked as Chris started to pick the pieces off the ground.
"It was like this..." Aunt Kate said, talking for Chris who seemed to be very upset. "You mother didn't want you to wear that dress and thought it was better off in the trash."
"I'm right!" Clairice said from her seat. She was sitting very stiffly, as if someone had put a coat hanger in her clothes without her knowing about it.
"Mom." Valerie muttered. "Continue Aunt Kate."
"Just call me Kate." Aunt Kate smiled. "We are practically family."
"Not without a wedding dress!" Chris said standing up. "I wanted to keep the dress anyway, in case Michelle gets married."
"Whos Michelle?" Clairice sniffed.
"My daughter, you you...ugh!" Chris stomped over to Valerie. "She didn't care that I wanted to keep what might be a future heirloom!" Chris glared at Clairice who still seemed indifferent. "But no, she tried to rip the dress out of my hands. I pulled as hard as I could without trying to hurt the dress."
"Hurt?" Clairice sniffed. "The dress can't be hurt!"
Valerie looked at both her mom and Chris, who seemed to be counting to one hundred. "So the dress is gone."
"It'll make a fine quilt." Aunt Kate said. "We can salvage it."
"But the weddings in a week." Chris said. "We don't have a dress."
Clairice sighed and stood up. "Since you all think this is my fault, I am going to provide a dress for you."
"Thats nice." Valerie said not knowing what to say. Suddenly she looked up. This could be bad, what if this dress her mom provided was nothing more than a potato sack? "And Aunt Kate will help you look."
"What? You don't trust your own mother?" Clairice said putting her hand on her chest.
"Yes...and no." Valerie said. "Its always good to have a second opinion."
"Fine." Clairice said. "You want to go look now? I'm sure there are some places still open?"
Aunt Kate nodded. "I'll flag down a taxi." She said as she guided Clairice out the door.
As soon as they were gone, Chris and Valerie sunk into the couch.
"If this the worst that happens" Chris said finally."we'll be okay."
A couple of minutes later, Peter Micky and Davy came into the room.
"Hi guys," Micky said. "is Andy around?"
"He's up stairs." Valerie said as Chris continued to clean up. Andy bounced down the stairs.
"Okay, I'm ready." Andy said grabbing a jacket.
"See you later!" Peter waved.
The guys left as quickly as they had arrived.
"What was that all about?" Chris asked dumping another dustpan full of dress bits into a can.
"I have no idea, and I'm kinda scared to find out." Valerie admitted.
