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Young Girl Arrested

Last Saturday a young girl, Alice, was brought into the county jail.  She is charged with the stalking of a little white rabbit and the breaking and entering of a private residence.  This paper was informed by an unknown source that young Alice regularly had tea with a man who is reported to be mentally unstable and who refers to himself as ‘The Mad Hatter.’

When the older sister of Alice was questioned, she commented that Alice often spent her time reading under a tree and daydreaming.

A cat with a large grin was seen in the company of Alice on numerous occasions.  When talking to local journalist Lawrence Oddbody the cat mentioned that Alice ate mushrooms, smoked a hookah with a caterpillar, lied to the Queen of Hearts, and used a flamingo as a croquet bat. 

Alice could not be reached for comment.  No date has yet been settled for the trial.

By Elizabeth Sheridan

“Off With Their Heads!”

Common citizens are in an outrage.  The Queen of Hearts has ordered over one-hundred and seventy beheadings in the last two days.  “No creature is safe,” one citizen stated.

By Mock Turtle

Knave on Trial

Early yesterday morning the Knave was brought to trial for stealing the tarts of the Queen of Hearts.  The creatures of the jury had no say in the verdict.  The King of Hearts, acting as the judge, had no chance to judge the Knave given the fact that a young girl a mile high produced evidence of the Knave’s innocence. 

The Queen of Hearts had a fit and the court held a recess. The Queen  of Hearts wanted the King to sentence the Knave first and have the verdict afterwards.  There was no agreement on this. By the end of the day there was still no clear verdict. 

By Gryphon

Duchess & Cook Taken in For Questioning

The Duchess and her cook are accused of child abuse.  The Duchess is reported of tossing her child up and down violently and often leaving it at the house while she played croquet with the Queen of Hearts.  The cook admitted to throwing pots and pans at the child.

By Mouse