If you couldn't read the magazine article then here's what it says
we just got our copy of the fast and the furious on dvd. it's such a dumb movie! and we'll never forgive them for destroying a '70 charger. We could point out stupidiies in it for a whole issue. But here are 10 of our favorite ? bad, utterly retarded lines from the DVD (which includes an asstoundingly disengenuous anti-street rancing announcement before the movie itself starts). We've listed the line (in minutes and seconds) into the ? where the line appears.
1. "this public service announcement is brought to you by Castrol Syntec," (preamble)
Let's see, a few words from "star" Paul Walker on how street racing is bad followed by 107 minutes showing us how wonderfully dramatic it is.
2. "Yo. Try Fatburger from now on. You can get yourself a double cheese with fries for $2.95." (7:27)
a double fat burger with cheese is really $5.49 and fries are another $1.69. Like we wouldn't know.
3. "I need nos!" (9:53)
Then say "nitrous" you jackass.
4. Ameteurs don't use nitrous oxide. I've seen the way you drive; you've got a heavy foot. You'll blow yourself to pieces!" (10:00)
Ooooohhhhhh... nitrous is so scary!
5. "i need one of those big ones. Actually, let's make it two." (10:06)
Because a nitrous system's worth is measured by the size of the bottle?
6. Granny shifting, not double-clutching like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of nos didn't blow the weld on the intake." (22:00)
Um, has this guy ever driven a car?
7. "Yo, You know you owe me a 10-second car, right?" (33:20)
Excuse us, you mean that puke-green Mitsubishi was running 10's? Our spleens just burst.
8."that was an $80000 vehicle officer." (36:00)
An $80,000 Mitsubishi Eclipse?! Teh neon undercarriage lighting must have been really expensive.
9."I've never driven her." / "Why not?" / Scared the **** out of me." (56:39)
It's a '70 Charger! The only decent car in the whole movie and he's scared of i? Let's get Vin Diesel over to Cedars-Siniai so they can check for the presence of testosterone in his body.
10. "I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters. Not the motgage. Not the store. Not my team and all their bull****, For those 10 seconds or less, i'm free." (58:02)
Um Vin, would that be the first 10 seconds or the second 10 seconds of your run in that Mazda that you're free?
Bonus! "Ever since the first time I met you, I've been undercover. I'm a cop." / "Oh you bastard." (1:16:46)
Yeah, who'd have guessed the only blond-haired blue-eyed guy amid all the blacks, latinos, and asians was a cop? |
