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| "The Mask" The mask that I am wearing It makes me look so glad But only I know way down deep The feeling that I have I like to act so happy Even though I'm feeling mad I may seem really perky But I could be really sad It doesn't matter what you say Or even what you do What my real feelings are No one has a clue Maybe if I start to talk Or write a little more The mask will disappear And my thoughts will start to soar --Author Unknown |
| I'm sorry... I scream at you because you love me... Because your love reminds me that there has always been someone else in my life...someone important...who didn't love me... I tell you I hate you because I love you... Because you are everything that I have always wanted to be but could never quite become... I have no patience for you because you have infinite patience for me... Because I know you are a safe place to vent and rage...a refuge... from the intolerance and disapproval of the world... I push you away because you hold me so tightly... Because your arms are always there waiting to embrace me... the scared child who has gone so very long without a loving touch... It seems I storm against the very things to which I am attracted... To the things that drew me to you in the first place... My heart cries out for you to ignore my screams...my harsh words...my impatience and my pushing... But you're not a wall...I'm not screaming into thin air...you hear and feel it all... and I am sorry...Unable to contain my emotions...crazed and exhausted with myself... I give to you all I have left...the best part of me...memories... --August 2, 2000 |
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| Secrets I held a secret close to my heart My fingers clasped it tight I'd always tried to do my part To keep our secret from the light But one day my fingers loosened Our secret showed its face I cried a river as I tried to return it to its place But someone was there to see it Someone saw the way That I'd kept our secret to myself Until this very day And now it's not OUR secret The blame lies where it should And your secret won't be safe with me Like you always thought it would I gave up years of living just to keep you close to me Now I give up years of shame so I can finally be free I give you back your threatening words I give you back the fear So now at night those evil whispers Won't be mine to hear The secret is now YOURS to keep And hide I'm sure you will But remember that I'm out here And YOUR secret I know still --August 24, 2001 |