Trisha
... "Your Rich Imagination I wrote this for my husband as a tribute to him. His name was Marty, he died June l7, l992 at the age of 49 of a massive heart attack while on a business trip to Boston. I was 43 at the time. I wanted the world to know that he was much more than a loving husband, father, and friend to all he knew. He was a very creative and extraordinary man. His sensitivity and laughter was surely what drew me to him so many years ago. We were married nearly 20 years and for the last l0 years of his life we also had a business together. We made our home in the Bay Area of California, I being a "native" and he coming from New Jersey. To say that when my husband died I was in total shock and in a state of total confusion, is an understatement. I continued for about a year running the business we had started, until one day I walked into my office, and could not pick up a piece of paper, could not lift any telephone receivers off their hooks, and just stood there in the midst of everything, silent, numb, and knowing that I was now going to begin my path in this journey we call grief. And so I did. I was cleverly convinced by my oldest son, who is now 29, & married with two children, that I needed to move to be near he and his family. California was no longer the "place" for me. With the business sold, as well as my house, I packed my youngest son's, and my belongings and moved to Idaho. My daughter who is 27, remained, and still lives in California. It has been over 5 years since the death of Marty and my journey has taken me on many different paths. Some were very dark and frightening, but I believe they were paths I had to walk in order for the healing process to take hold. And healing I am, which is clearly mysterious and also truly miraculous. For me, laughter is my rescuitation. Laughing, I believe, creates a bond between us and others who share "the joke", which will wear better than understanding, empathy, sympathy, or counsel. It sets us free from false myths and restores twenty-twenty vision. Laughing is a way of reducing the universe to palatable, bite-sized pieces, so we won't choke. Contentment I then found in what I used to think of as boring or non productive times. What I had labeled unimportant took on new meaning. Ironically, if I am very lucky, I may live the rest of my days out with a new appreciation for what is truly important in life. If there is a gift for us in exchange for our losses and tragedies, it is a new constant state of cherishing...an opening for deeper spirituality. To acknowledge that there are mysteries that we will never unravel is humbling and freeing at the same time. It is not a passive stance...resigning to darkness. It is an open stance, palms to the sky, as a receiving vessel. For vessels are meant to be emptied and filled, emptied and filled...... and to imagine and have faith is everything......Trisha "Its never too late to be
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