Week 1

Today was my first day of T-Prep, and also my first day of shadowing Mary in her ENG 101 class.  To say that I am thrilled about the process is an understatement.  I wish SMSU would go to this type of program, and I plan to share T-Prep info with current TAs at SMSU, as well as Jensen. 

 Not only was I impressed with the T-Prep class and the mentor I’m shadowing, but BSU also has someone who handles discipline!!!  Can you believe that? He’s called the “Terminator.”  It’s not that I had that many situations where disciplinary help was needed—though I’ll never do a group conference again—THAT was a feeding frenzy and I was the shark bait!  No.  It’s more the idea that the writing program is not going to leave me to dangle in the breeze.  Suddenly, I’m feeling that perhaps the rug won’t be yanked out from underneath my feet, and that is a reassuring feeling.  

 I wouldn’t trade my experiences at SMSU for anything, but I can’t look to the freshman composition director and the graduate director and tell them “thank you” for all of their support and help.  We were basically responsible for all aspects of being a TA, which is good in some respects, but if any undesirable habits have been formed, it will be more challenging to change those habits.  I am not coming in as a tabula rasa, but in my mind, my education will never be complete, and I will never lose my curiosity about all things in the world. 

 Week 2

Week 2 included Labor Day weekend, so it was a shortened week, and I haven’t started shadowing yet, or as Dan calls it—stalking.  I begin stalking this week. 

 The students in the 1:00 class seem bright and engaged, though I have sat in on Mary’s 9:00 class, and those students are even more engaged.  Mary appears to have set the tone for the semester as far as no-nonsense goes, and I think that makes a big difference in the attitude of the class.  I don’t see a problem with intimidating the kids for awhile as far as classroom behavior.  It certainly makes an instructor’s life in the classroom much easier. 

 Mary uses a book entitled “America Now,” in her classroom.  This is a new approach to composition for me, and I am interested in seeing how it works.  “America Now” is comprised of articles from newspapers and magazines on pertinent issues in the United States such as gender equity, racism, etc.  Her syllabus is simple and organized—the routine is the same for each unit taught—read the chapter, bring in a related article, a topic or outline for an essay, and peer editing.  I was surprised that there wasn’t more in-class writing—it is a computer classroom (which is another nice perk), and it would be easy enough to have the students write for 10-15 minutes each class period.  But . . . I am eager to see how all of this works. 

 Week 3

I missed some journaling for Week 3 for a couple of reasons.  We can no longer access First Class off campus, which is a bite, as I really liked the program.  I have also been pulled in several different directions by some complicated personal issues, but I am getting myself back on track. 

 I plan to do is continue journaling at home, and then email my journaling as an attachment to my BSU email address, and then upload to First Class in the computer lab in RB.  That should work—unless Papper wants it done differently.

I enjoyed writing the literacy narrative, and especially enjoyed reading my classmates’ narratives.  We also had an assignment of writing an “I Believe” list and posting it on Blackboard.  To be quite honest, mine was spur-of-the-moment, and Papper was concerned about a couple of my “I Believes,” particularly the one where I stated that “I believe that not all students are college material and somehow they all end up in my classes.” 

On 09/08, the class met at Bracken Library for a mini-class on library research.  There is actually a little library booklet that the students fill out and turn in for credit.  I like that idea.  Many times the trip to the library is perfunctory and students receive little out of the trip.  The gentleman gave a good presentation on the basics of library research. 

 Week 4

In T-Prep today, we discussed and viewed sample syllabi. I was pleased to note that the subject of appropriate dress in the classroom came up—there was no such discussion—EVER—at SMSU about proper attire for TAs, which resulted in some very rough looking characters in the classroom.  One female TA continually wore shorts so short and tight that her butt cheeks hung out, and one guy was, for lack of a better term, a complete slob.  I always wore dresses, suits, or nice pants in the classroom. Clothing is something else that sets you apart from your students, and since being a TA is a position with great responsibility, you need to dress the part. 

 I observed two tutoring sessions at the Writing Center today.  At 2:30, I observed a tutoring session with Rachel.  The essay presented was on cheerleading.  Rachel talked to the student about run-on sentences and tense consistency.  She asked the student if they had any ideas on how to restructure paragraphs.  The student then began to talk about necessary and unnecessary phrasing, and turning questions into statements for a more positive tone in her paper.  The student noted herself that the conclusion needed more work.  Rachel asked the student what she didn’t like about the conclusion and the student replied that it needed work, and that her instructor didn’t want a “summing up” sort of conclusion.  The student asked about MLA citations and the rest of the session was spent on MLA stylistics. 

 In the second session, I observed a tutoring session between Ryan and a female student.  The student had heard about the WC in her English comp class, and came voluntarily to the WC.  She had several questions about MLA style, particularly a parenthetical citation.  Her teacher had questioned “evidence” about a statement in the student’s essay about something being morally wrong in the eyes of God.  The question was asked about how the Bible was cited.  The student was explaining to Ryan about how the instructor wanted things cited, which appeared to go against MLA guidelines.  Ryan advised the student to cite the teacher’s way.  Then Ryan read the essay out loud, and spent quite a bit of time sounding out one sentence and working on that sentence.  While sitting in on Ryan’s tutoring session, I was able to hear what was going on at the next table.  That particular student had also written on a religious them.  Ryan and the student then began discussing word choice.  The student wanted her paper to make sense to readers not familiar with the subject.  She felt one of her sentences sounded too clichéd.  The student was very interactive in her tutoring session, but frequently expressed self-doubts about her writing. 

 Week 5

It was tough scheduling time to tutor in the Writing Center.  Kai was absolutely no help.  I was under the impression that we were to be observed by Kai or Jackie, but Kai made it quite evident that he wanted no part of THAT.  “I’m really not here today,” he explained, as he darted from room to room, trying to avoid my inquiries.  Oh, yes, that explains why you’re standing in front of me. But I am nothing if not persistent.  Mary said she wanted us to have our tutoring sessions in before fall break, and I took her at her word. I finally scheduled time with one of the senior tutors, but the student cancelled that appointment at the last moment, so we had to reschedule. 

 FINALLY!  Waiting, waiting, waiting. I hope the student shows up this time.  I don’t often get nervous, but I felt some mild anxiety going into the tutoring session.  I had no idea what to expect.  I had no experience with a writing center, and since I was being evaluated, I wanted to say and do the right things, but I wasn’t sure what the right things were.  I was in for a baptism by fire (forgive the cliché).  The tutee showed up on time (I was early, giving myself even more time for anxiety), and he was from Thailand.  George Clooney’s character in O Brother, Where Art Thou came to mind:  Damn, we’re in a tight spot!  I had no experience working with ESL students.  I can do this. I can do this.  I began a mental chant. He brought one chapter of his Master’s thesis to review.  Damn, we’re in a tight spot!  I felt under even more pressure to do well and not let my tutee down.  I could feel a trickle of sweat starting down my side.  My tutee’s Master’s degree was in architecture.  Damn, we’re in a tight spot! There was nothing on HGTV that prepared me for the topic of architecture, at least in a Master’s thesis.  I just jumped in—there was nothing else I could do.  I began to relax—my tutee and I developed a rapport.  I actually helped him!  But my throat and mouth were very dry when we finished.

 Week 6

We visited the art museum at BSU.  I had no idea BSU had such an impressive art museum, and I made a mental note to visit when I had time (what’s time? I remember the concept—vaguely).  The purpose in visiting the art museum was to tie in composition and art—in other words, a painting could tell a story, but it might not tell the same story to each person viewing that painting.  One person could interpret the painting differently from another.  Another person might see something in the painting that their fellow classmate(s) missed.  I remembered the memoir class I took with George Jensen during my last semester at SMSU.  He discussed the various non-written mediums that could tell a story, and art was one of those mediums. 

 Meanwhile, back at the art museum . . .  The first painting we looked at was of Abel of Cain and Abel fame—you know—Adam and Eve’s kids.  He had evidently just been dealt that soon-to-be fatal blow by his brother, and appeared to be writhing around in agony.  A facet of the portrait that made me wonder about this particular story was that Abel appeared to be in an area where sacrifices were made—the area was littered with smoldering altars.  The question in my mind was:  who was using all of these altars?  Obviously people, but where did all of these people come from?  Hmmmm . . . interesting.  We had a good discussion, and the woman who conducted the mini-tour of the museum was knowledgeable about connecting composition and art.  It was definitely an activity I would like to apply in my classes. 

 Week 7

Week 7 included fall break, and I was gone for that week, resulting in no journal entries.

 Week 8

I have started preparing in earnest for my week of teaching.  The unit is on gender equality.  I had initially thought I wanted to do some role playing and also bring in some early feminist literature.  But after sitting in on the class for eight weeks, I decided that lesson plan might be a bit too complex. I’ve spent a lot of time on the internet and looking through my composition books trying to find ideas to incorporate into the lessons, and felt I would try to bring in pop culture that the students could relate to.  I was talking to one of my friends at SMSU and asked him what he would do for a unit on gender equality, and he suggested playing the song “Barbie Girl,” and then having a class discussion.  That was an appealing idea—it brought in the pop culture I wanted for the unit and would also create an interactive lesson.  I began looking for a “Barbie Girl” MP3 to download from the internet, and couldn’t find anything except a virus on my computer.  Thank goodness for Norton Antivirus.  I think I’ll ask my students if any of them have the Aqua CD.  I would like to use some Eminem music, but I’m not sure how Mary and Papper would react to that.  Personally, I think Eminem is a lyrical genius, but not all people would share that view. 

 Week 9th

I subbed for Mary in the 9:00 class.  It was interesting to compare the dynamics of the 9:00 class to the 1:00 class.  The morning students are very bright and engaged, and contribute to class discussion in an intelligent manner.  That’s not to say that the afternoon class isn’t bright, but it is more difficult to get them to contribute to class discussions.  As with any class, two or three students are the main contributors.  This morning was article day—and the students were required to bring an article related to the particular unit they were studying that week—this week the subject was racial discrimination. 

 The norming session was, how shall I say it?  A disappointment?  Bizarre?  I’m not sure what word to use to describe the norming session.  It did, however, reinforce my belief that no one can argue over inconsequential issues like an English department.  I’ve been told a philosophy department is worse, but I have no experience sitting in on philosophy department meetings, so I can’t say whether that is correct or not.  I have also found out since arriving at BSU, and the norming session reinforced this new knowledge, that pedagogy does not follow theory.  I don’t know exactly what pedagogy follows.  Or what theory follows for that matter.  There is such a contradiction between what we are taught in class and what is actually applied in the classroom, and I find myself growing weary of the hypocrisy.  Even though this thought had occurred to me long before the norming session, I am questioning whether teaching at the university level is what I want to do the rest of my life.  I don’t want to sit in meetings and argue with my peers. I really don’t want to argue with anyone.  I also don’t believe that the norming session had to be as difficult as the participants made it.  One instructor in particular was a bit high strung, and I thought a bowl of Xanax pushed down to her end of the table was just what she needed.  I think all of the TAs were shocked by what we witnessed, and we met for lunch afterwards and discussed what we witnessed.

 Week 10

Why didn’t someone tell me that Indiana didn’t fall back one hour in October?  Dan kept reminding me to set my clocks back one hour—he didn’t want me to miss class.  I put that reminder on my calendar so I wouldn’t forget. I couldn’t figure out why my Direct TV didn’t show the correct time, and I spent almost two hours trying to find a control where I could change the time.  The Monday after I changed the time back on all of my clocks, I arrived for my T-Prep class at 12:00.  As I was going in, Shane and Sarah were leaving.  “Hey, where are you guys going?” I asked.  “Home,” Sarah replied.  Home?  Isn’t she going to class? 

 It wasn’t until I met Joel on the stairs and asked him what was going on that I got filled in on the time situation.  Joel had that beatific smile of his on his face the entire time I was explaining my tale of the time switch.  Indiana is on Indiana time, which in the fall is equivalent to Eastern Standard Time.  I was aghast at my error, which wasn’t really my error at all, and set out to find Mary and explain to her the situation.  When I went home, I changed my clocks, but that wasn’t the end of the story.  For some reason, several days later the clock on my computer switched back to Central Standard Time, and I was late for class again. I have everything straightened out now.

I am fine tuning my lesson plans for my teaching unit.  There are several goals I wish to accomplish when I teach—I want to be able to reach the students, and bring into the lessons an aspect of pop culture they can relate to, and be comfortable with.  My rationale is that if I can reach them, they will be more enthusiastic about what we are talking about in class, and their writing will reflect that enthusiasm.  Music is always a way to reach students.  I like the idea of an interactive classroom, and I always strive for some type of writing each class period.

 Week 11

I now understand how difficult it must be for student teachers.  Walking into a classroom where the dynamics have already been established, and I have not been involved in those dynamics is difficult.  This will never be my class—it will always be Mary’s class, and that makes a huge difference in the level of comfort and what I feel I can do or say in the class. 

 The first day of class went very well.  We discussed gender equality/equity/bias, and worked on a definition.  Gender was easy—it’s whether you are male or female.  Equality/equity/bias is more complex, and I wanted to be sure the students understood that equality didn’t simply apply to women—that there were issues where perhaps men were unfairly treated.  Most of all, I never wanted the lessons to turn into gender bashing.  I was hopeful I would be able to help the students look at different sides of issues, and look at the issues in ways they had never before considered.  After we defined gender and equality, we launched into a classroom discussion on any gender bias they may have encountered in the various stages of their lives—from living at home and girls being told they could only play with dolls, or that it was not appropriate for boys to play with dolls, to elementary school, middle school, and high school.  Initially, the students couldn’t think of any situations where any gender bias occurred.  I could sense them balking at participating, and if it had been my own class, I would have been able to handle the situation much more easily.  As it was, Mary stepped in and reminded the class that they were still being observed for classroom participation during my week of teaching, it was and wasn’t helpful.  It was helpful from the standpoint that several of the students began to kick in and participate in class discussion, and it wasn’t helpful because I wanted them to participate on their own, and not have to be reminded by their instructor.  I didn’t want them to feel forced to join in, so I’m really not sure what worked best.  After the discussion on gender bias they may have encountered in their lives, I asked them to write an “I Am” poem—which I had to carefully explain—but I was very pleased with the results. 

 The second day of class was article day, and that was the one piece of the original schedule that I incorporated into my teaching unit.  I explained to the students before I started teaching that the schedule would change during that week—some listened to me and some didn’t listen to me.  The schedule was another problematic situation that made teaching in someone else’s classroom difficult.  Mary gave me carte blanche to create my lesson plan—I didn’t have to adhere to her original schedule.  Initially, that sounded good, but as I write this after the fact, I’m trying to think of what I could have done to have made the schedule changes more clear.  I announced to the class when the essays would be workshopped and when the essays would be turned in.  I incorporated that information into PowerPoint presentations.  The only thing I didn’t do was create an addendum to the schedule and pass that addendum out to the class.  That may or may not have been helpful.  Even had I created the schedule addendum, I think there would have been students who would continue to use the original schedule to override my unit scheduling.  I don’t think they did that out of disrespect, or were trying to be uncooperative.  I think they’re scattered; I think the original schedule serves as a security blanket; and, I believe their listening and comprehension skills need to be developed further.  The article day went smoothly, and everyone brought an article, though I don’t think everybody fully understood the articles they brought. 

 I had originally planned to do the “Barbie Girl” song for the third lesson, but I decided to do the collaborative work instead.  That was the day Papper came in to observe, and of course, since I didn’t inform anybody of the curriculum change, she had the information for the “Barbie Girl” lesson.  Nothing went right that day.  The students didn’t understand the discussion questions written on the index cards.  Much time was lost trying to explain to them how to approach the questions, and then there was quite a bit of tire spinning trying to get the groups going with the discussion and any internet research that might be helpful.  I have to admit that I started feeling irritated at what I felt was the students’ inability to think for themselves.  Having Papper in the classroom was not a source of anxiety for me—I had no problem pretending she wasn’t there.  I finally got the discussion groups going, and the students had to work together to come up with a position statement and read that out loud to the class.  Unfortunately, because I tried to cram too much into that particular day, and because of the slow start, we ran short of time.  The groups were able to read their position statements, but there wasn’t enough time for discussion on those position statements. 

 The “ Barbie Girl” session went much more smoothly—I did not overfill class time, so there was not that frantic sense of impending doom, though Papper came in again to observe the class.  I’m not sure whether that was because she felt I fell flat on my face the previous class period, and she wanted to give me another chance to fall flat on my face, thus confirming what she already thought, or what.  I didn’t ask.  We had already gone over in 605 every excruciating detail of my classroom failure, and while I tried hard to look at it as a learning experience and not a failure, and while I tried to think of it as possibly being helpful to my classmates, I was also aware of Papper’s penchant for public humiliation.  She seems to think this public humiliation is in some way helpful (to whom, I’m not sure), or maybe she gets some perverse kick out of it, but it simply causes me to shut down.   I printed out the lyrics to “Barbie Girl” so the students could read along as they listened, and the big surprise that came out of it all is that it was the first time they actually knew the lyrics to the song.  That revelation made me think about their listening and comprehension skills, or lack thereof

 Week 12

I spent this week reflecting on my week of teaching in ENG 101.  I always think I could have done better, I could have prepared more interesting lessons, everything just more, better, interesting, superb, challenging.  I would imagine that is normal to second guess yourself.  Again, it is not as comfortable teaching someone else’s class.  Even though I have been in the classroom for the semester and gotten to know the students, it is not the same as having my own classroom.  It’s difficult to get the students to listen to me, and to follow through with my requests.  If it were my classroom, I would come down on them hard for that.  As it is, Mary steps in and admonishes the class, which makes me feel even less effective. 

 We also critiqued each other’s syllabi in T-Prep, which was very helpful.  I always thought of the syllabus as strictly utilitarian and didn’t put much thought into the visual appeal.  I now consider visual appeal, as well as the information contained in the syllabus. 

 Week 13

We have been watching “Bowling for Columbine,” which the students will utilize to write their final essay.  It is a very liberal-bent film by Michael Moore, but it does bring up some interesting points, particularly regarding the differences between gun-related murders in the United States and Canada.  I don’t dismiss what Michael Moore says in his film, but I also understand that he has an agenda, so I listen carefully and pick and choose which issues I want to research further.  I am concerned, however, with the comments Mary makes to the students about the film and gun control, and I’m not sure if she makes these comments because she wants her politics known, or if she wants to elicit response from the students.  If there was a student(s) in the class who happened to be pro-NRA and spoke up regarding those beliefs, would they receive equal time and respect?  I don’t know the answer to that because no student has indicated that they are pro-NRA. 

 Week 14

This week is a laid back week.  On Monday we started to discuss Berlin’s article in Cross Talk, and then I started a discussion on my concerns from last week.  Should we let our personal politics be known in the classroom?  If we let our personal politics be known, will that challenge our students to develop an intelligent argument against our beliefs, or will the students simply be silent and absorb the information?  I am still not convinced that a first semester freshman student is going to challenge the strong opinions of an instructor/professor, and for that reason, I am still leery about introducing our own political agendas into the classroom.  On Wednesday and Friday, we will have portfolio presentations, but as I have to upload this Observational Report to the internet, this will be my last entry. 

 Week 15

Week 15 will not be journaled.