One morning I tried to sign into my Cindybin2002 account and couldn’t. I wasn’t sure if it had been deleted due to Facts reporting me or what. I had to make a new ID for when Cindybin2001 timed out. I didn’t think this would be an easy task, figuring that every possible Cindybin combination had been claimed by the trolls, but miraculously Cindybin20022 had not been taken. I used that a few times, and then later saw Internet Fake Tree post somewhere, “Cindybin20022, LMAO!” She thought it was hilarious that I had to get a new ID. (Yes, Hummy—Internet Fake Tree is sweet and I am the rude and mean one.)

I was still staying away from the old bully boards, except for one minor incident toward the beginning of September where I had a run-in with TickyTack. Probably sometime after that I stumbled across an old story in the health section about celebrity diets. I saw that drmweaver had posted, and figured it would be something insulting about me and Suzanne Somers. Sure enough, it was. I ignored it, though, and started my own post, simply saying that I liked Somersize because it’s not a diet but a way of eating. I nicely explained that it’s healthy, we eat from all food groups, and that it helped me lose all I wanted and that I’m very thankful for it. I tried to be honest and sincere, and not preachy. I went back to that board later and saw that Internet Fake Tree, Silver, and a few others had replied, all with several recs after their posts, so I knew they must have been insulting. Unless they really were nice and a bunch of Somersizers came by and recommended them, but that was highly unlikely. Even Silver’s had recs. I didn’t dare read them. But what on EARTH could they have found to ridicule me about? What had Silver said? She must have joined in with the insults, or there wouldn’t have been recs after her name. What did she have against me? She was a grandmother! She was as against drugs as I was! She didn’t swear! Why did she hang around with these women? I never checked that board again, as the temptation was too great to become all riled up. I was trying my best to keep my cool.

I still talked to Sammy privately, of course, and sometimes to Cluckie the Chicken (Richie) from the main boards. He was on my Messenger list and a friend at the weblog site “”. Cluckie enjoyed seeing me “go after” the Tough Chicks on the main boards. (He didn’t know much about the other Original Tough Chicks on the older stories.) If I missed someone, he’d say, “Oh Cindy, so-and-so is a mother, and she just used a swear word. Go get her!”

As I said, if there was anything I did that could be considered even remotely “trolling”, it was chastising women for casually using profanity. But I really did feel strongly about this, and was not making up things just to get a reaction. When I first came to Yahoo, I don’t think I said much about it, but it got to the point where almost every single woman I saw used the a-word and worse. And most of them were so snotty if you said anything about it. Suthen_Talk, a married woman near my age, was someone I had talked to before and seemed nice. I learned that she was a mother of two grown sons like me, and once I saw her mention that she did volunteer work at Christmas where she’d go shopping for a needy person or family. I thought that was so nice. But then I looked at her profile and saw her favorite quote: “Life is all about ass—you’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one.” I couldn’t help but remark that this was a rather crude and unladylike quote for someone like her, a mother who seemed so nice and did volunteer work. It just didn’t make sense. She was not pleased with what I said, but she didn’t cuss me out or anything, as so many did. We just discussed this civilly, with me trying to be as respectful as I could, always pointing out her good qualities. But that quote of hers reminded me of how most Yahoo women used all those a-word phrases like it was nothing, and she was just promoting it.

Fairiewhings was another one I got on for using the a-word or crude acronyms. She was a married mother of a young son, had a professional job, and seemed very nice. I tried to nicely talk to her about how she was presenting herself by using these terms. She wasn’t exactly pleased with me, either, but she never got vicious. I also learned that she smoked pot, which became quite an issue between us. I had no idea just how much this would later come into play.

Christi_in_Tampa was one of the few women who did not become offended. She told others I was sweet and that I helped get everyone to shape up when I was around. A mother of young children, Christi said she was trying to watch her language, and seemed pleased when I’d remind her not to use certain words or acronyms.

There were a number of guys posing as women on Yahoo, though, so you had to be careful. Sometimes I caught them, sometimes I wasn’t so sure. “BlueEyes” is someone I’ll never forget. I had seen “her” a few times when I first arrived on the boards, posing as a pretty young woman in the medical field. She seemed fairly normal except for a post I saw one evening where she described a graphic sexual episode with a boyfriend. I was too timid at the time to say anything. Then sometime in the spring she appeared on a main board with the regulars during the day. Max complimented her on her picture and she thanked him. Then Max said, “So, do you swallow?” I said, “Max, HONESTLY!” He just laughed—he was being a troll. But she responded to him, saying that it depends on the guy. “I usually don’t, but if I’m really into the guy, I will.” Max replied, “Good answer!” Again, I was still too timid to say much of anything, but I never forgot it. She disappeared, and it was probably a couple months later that I saw her in the evening again. This time I was prepared. I had been defending myself so much against all the bullies and Tough Chicks that I wanted to let her have it. I thought about what she had said to Max, how “if she’s really into the guy.” Well just how many guys has she been with, anyway? And how could she do something so intimate and personal with all these guys if she wasn’t at least committed to them somehow? And how could she just blurt this stuff out on the World Wide Web? It was so PERSONAL! What kind of woman WAS she, anyway???? I was ready to take her on.

“Well if it isn’t the blowjob queen!” I said to her that evening. I fully expected her to not even remember me, but she said, “Wow, Cindy, you’ve really loosened up.” I thought that seemed kind of strange. She was acting like she knew me. Then I started ranting to her, and BlueEyes let it all out: the swear words, the filthy, graphic sexual descriptions, including the c-word, that only a member of the opposite sex could say. BlueEyes was a guy. Busted! We talked a bit and I asked him why he used that ID, what he got out of posing as a woman. I had no idea who it was, but he told me, “You won’t be seeing this ID again.” Well, I did see it a few more times, and when I called him on it he broke out the sex talk. But at least I knew it wasn’t a real woman.

Even drmweaver had a few female ID’s. What a weirdo. He posed as a woman named Tricia, who loved threesomes. Yet she also talked about God and living a clean life. I could tell it was him because of the way he typed, the telltale punctuation and writing style. He didn’t deny it, either. He said things just to rile me up. And I swear “averyrealblonde” was drmweaver as well. This hot young blonde was sweet to others, but told me I was a frigid, selfish prude who won’t blow her husband. “She” sent me the same nasty emails that drmweaver did, and they both talked about how they were going to meet each other. The guys all loved her and wouldn’t believe me when I said it was almost certainly a male. Or if it really was a woman, she was a b-word! Another “woman” named Rachel had very provocative, nude photos in her profile. When I commented that women shouldn’t post such pictures, she called me all kinds of vile names and said I was jealous that I was no longer “queen of the message boards.” I thought that was strange, because I barely knew her; I had only seen her once or twice, yet she acted like she knew me. Every time she was on, drmweaver was around, too. And another clue was that Rachel had the same writing and punctuation style as drmweaver.

“Jam” was one I never could figure out. Some people claimed it was a guy, but she strongly denied it. I saw many nice, normal posts by this person, but then she’d tell me things like how she did bj’s and anal, and how it was a “three-hole day” for her on some date with a boyfriend. Drmweaver thought she was just wonderful. Yet I was the nutcase.

The list goes on: “catdevil”, “caped3eva”, “beautiful” (a guy who posed as an 18-year-old girl. “You are such a dude”, Dana once said to “her”). One day a woman named Mom_of_05_Grad showed up. Her profile picture showed a woman in her 40’s with a nice figure, standing with her husband. Supposedly she was a teacher with several kids, one who just graduated. The guys called her a “MILF”, which she happily accepted. One guy said something about pleasuring himself to her picture, and she told him that her name was Rita, “so you can shout my name when you cum!” I was appalled. This was coming from a mother and a TEACHER? I watched this person closely every time she came on, and she said many other “off” things that I just could not imagine coming from the woman in that profile picture. I tried to tell people this was probably a man, but the guys didn’t want to believe me. They said I was just jealous. Umm, no…I was not jealous. I had nothing to be jealous about. I always complimented women on their pictures if I thought they were nice. If someone put down a woman for her pictures, no matter how mean she was to me, I’d speak up and defend her. This had nothing to do with being jealous; I was just trying to arrive at the truth.    

Sugarpuss is another one I was 99% sure was a guy. The profile photo showed a pretty young woman in a bikini. While the bikini was skimpier than I would have liked, I complimented her on the photo nonetheless, and was nice to her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. But as with BlueEyes, this person started in with the swearing and graphic sexual descriptions. And with a name like “Sugarpuss” and a profile picture like that, one has to wonder.

I also felt Valerie was a guy. I suspected it was really Cluckie the Chicken, because I had seen exchanges between those two profiles. They claimed to have known each other in person. But I saw enough things that just didn’t add up. I knew Cluckie did LOTS of characters, so it wouldn’t have surprised me to learn he was posing as a woman. I tried to call Valerie on this several times, but “she” denied it. Valerie was another one who cussed up a storm. She was there back in October 2004 when the bj thing came up, chiming in about how she liked to give them. I should have suspected then, but I was still too naïve.

Eventually we all learned that Amber_Waves and No Cali Girl were both men, and the same man at that. Amber and Dana got into it over the summer when Amber gave Dana unwanted beauty advice. I stuck up for Dana, but actually it was kind of comical the things Amber said, offering various beauty products she thought Dana needed. I always thought something was fishy with Amber and No Cali Girl, and was friendly but kept my distance. Now I’m glad I did.

Chapter 26
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