You know that feeling you get when you are in an elevator with a stranger? We all have it, and if you really want to make some points, try some of these! - Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." - Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. - Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. - Blow spit bubbles. - Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. - Bring a chair along. - Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" - Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. - Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" - Do Tai Chi exercises. - Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." - Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" - Give religious tracts to each passenger. - Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. - Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" - Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. - If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!" - Lean against the button panel. - Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" - Leave a box between the doors. - Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. - Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. - Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. - Meow occassionally. - Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. - On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. - On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. - One word: Flatulence! - Play the harmonica. - Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. - Say "Ding!" at each floor. - Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. - Sell Girl Scout cookies. - Shadow box. - Shave. - Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. - Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. - Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without - getting off. - Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. - Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." - Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" - Start a sing-along. - Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" - Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. - Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. - Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. - When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. - When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" - When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" - Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. |
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