Last November I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The date was November 17, 2005. It was a Thursday.
From that day on, my life had become a blur. A blur of doctors, technicians, tests, nurses, hospitals, medications. A double mastectomy and removal of 8 lymph nodes resulted in a diagnosis of breast cancer, 100% Estrogen positive, HER 2 Negative, Stage III. Not the best diagnosis one could hope for when hearing the word breast cancer. I knew I had a lot to go through to beat it, and I knew I could. I also knew it wouldn't be easy. I know this first hand, because I am already a cancer survivor. In 1983, I was diagnosed with Hodgkins disease, Stage IV. I had to endure 10 cycles of chemotherapy, and 30 +/- weekdays of upper mantle radiation (from about the mid point of the body, up to, and including under the chin and the back of the head).
Why do I tell you all this? Because it is important to me to share my experience with others. Others who may remember someone in their life, or may recall someone who knows someone, or may have had themselves, Hodgkins disease as a teen or young adult.
The radiation treatment I received 23 years ago, that aided in my complete remission for Hodgkins disease, is the direct link to my breast cancer. It, along with chemotherapy saved my life back then. I had almost a zero percent chance of survival back then. I showed them, and not only survived, but survived without any recurrence of Hodgkins disease. Unknown to me, radiation therapy, such as I had for the Hodgkins disease, has a very high rate of causing breast cancer in women. From what I?ve learned on the Internet, breast cancer resulting from this type of radiation, generally develops, on average, around 10-15 years after treatment. This doesn't mean everyone who has had Hodgkins disease treated with upper mantle radiation therapy will develop breast cancer. But it does carry a high possibility. Twenty three years ago radiation therapy techniques were very different then the techniques used today.
I urge everyone to follow the basics regarding early detection - do self breast exams ? visit your doctor for a full physical examination once per year, every year - have yearly mammograms starting at age 40, or sooner if breast cancer runs in your family. If you, or anyone you know, have had radiation therapy for Hodgkins disease, talk with your doctors. Follow their advice. Visit well known informative websites such as The Susan G Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation. Get the facts. Take care of your body. Understand your body. It's the only one you got. If something doesn't feel right, have it checked sooner, not later. Stay informed.
As of today, I have completed my 8 cycles of chemotherapy, and 33 days of radiation therapy. My last treatment was August 8th, 2006. I am beginning to feel like my old self again. My life is no longer a blur of events that tested my strength everyday. I appreciate the little things again in life. And I have made a commitment to myself to find some good in this past year of darkness. That commitment is to pass on my experience to as many people as I can. If just one woman is spared a diagnosis of Stage III breast cancer because she now knows that she is at high risk due to the radiation treatment for Hodgkins disease, then good has come from my experience.
Please pass the word to anyone you may know. You may not know someone who has had Hodgkins disease, but someone you share this story with may. Stay informed. Be aware of your body and any changes should not be ignored. The longer you wait, the harder the treatment. There is a song that Melissa Etheridge (who was also diagnosed with breast cancer and is currently in remission) wrote, titled "I Run for Life". It has inspired me to help as many others through their darkness as I possibly can.
I have a journal I've written. It is located at http://cgraeff.redtoenail.org/. I originally wrote it to keep my family and friends spread out across the nation informed and current on what was happening in my life. How I was feeling, what was happening with my treatments, what changes my appearance took, my emotions, and always tried to incorporate some humor. Humor is the best medicine there is. The love and support I received from my family, friends, and even strangers, who read my blog continues to be very uplifting. I hope that I was able to help them too, for so many of them were going through some type of cancer or were co-survivor supporters.
If you, or anyone you know, has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, and would like to talk with me about my experiences, please feel free to reach out to me. I will help anyway I can. No one has to be alone with this darkness. No one should feel afraid of what they are about to go through. It's so much easier when you have someone who has already walked this path, who will understand, and who will be able to share just how it was. I can be reached through my email address above.
Below are the lyrics to "I Run for Life" by Melissa Etheridge - it is one of her many contributions to finding a cure for breast cancer and one I hold close to my heart.
I Run For Life
------Melissa Etheridge
(Melissa Etheridge)
It's been years since they told her about it
The darkness her body possessed
And the scars are still there in the mirror
Everyday that she gets herself dressed
Though the pain is miles and miles behind her
And the fear is now a docile beast
If you ask her why she is still running
She'll tell you it makes her complete
[Chorus:]
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother your sister your wife
I run for you and me my friend:| I run for life
It's a blur since they told me about it
How the darkness had taken its toll
And they cut into my skin and they cut into my body
But they will never get a piece of my soul
And now I'm still learning the lesson
To awake when I hear the call
And if you ask me why I am still running
I'll tell you I run for us all
[Chorus:]
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother your sister your wife
I run for you and me my friend:| I run for life
And someday if they tell you about it
If the darkness knocks on your door
Remember her remember me
We will be running as we have before
Running for answers
Running for more
I run for hope
I run to feel
I run for the truth
For all that is real
I run for your mother your sister your daughter your wife
for you and me my friend:| I run for life
* Originally from Reading, PA
* Reading Senior High - class of 1974
* Dallas, TX is now my home
