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So whats wrong with me anyway? Is it my looks? My age? Is it because I just can't find the one? I hope it's not my personality, please no, not that one.
I have been noticing that all my friends are now married and happy, all the friends I hang out with are now married too? Everybody not married are looking, everybody not looking is 16 or younger. I'm hangin' out with young teens now. Dang, I don't feel like going to youth anymore, I'm too old. I don't feel strong about going to elder's sunday school too, I'm too young. What do I do?
There are so many questions facing Hmong young adults these days. Frankly the question can be pointed directly to... "Where do you belong?" How can you be considered youth when your 25? It seems the only criteria these days for being a youth member in church is being over 12 and not being married.
Although not always the case, it is a cause for concern.
I know a guy who used to go to our church. He doesn't anymore. He now goes to another church. This is not because of any other reason than the fact that there just wasn't a place for him anymore in the Hmong church.
His reasoning? "Hmong church is broken down into five groups: the moms, the dads, the kids, the youth, than the people that aren't married yet. I don't want to be labeled part of that last group."
Although, the truth... Where else do they fit in Hmong church society? There are many problems that come into play here. Even though it is a Christian church, it is still a Hmong church. Culture is important, it is who you are, but it might not look highly on you (as is our situation).
As the first Hmong churches have just recently took footing 20 years ago, how could anyone see this was coming? The growth in the Hmong population has been a large cause for churches with growing populations of adults 20 and over. With churches already struggling to support the youth, the young adults sometimes are left to fend for themselves. Not that the churches are intentionally turning their back to these individuals, but there simply isn't the planning time available to create a real part of the church for them. It's still a new problem facing churches today.
Acting case by case only, some don't see this as a problem also. Some of us can lead others and acknowledge that we belong in this roll. But not everybody can be a leader, and certainly not everyone can accept it.
Although I can't offer a solution to this situation, I do hold it up to you all. I hope you realize that this is quickly becoming a situation in our Hmong churches. Not just C&MA, Baptist, or Methodist... everybody. I hope we can recognize that solutions can be thought up, at least a step in the right direction is welcome, or I fear that we may be losing our young adults as they look for other means of spiritual food. We want to continue going to Hmong church, but do we belong?