Marriage Daze
Chapter 4: Just Shoot Me
By: Cimmy
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Notes: From Charlie’s point of view.
“I’m taking you out.”
Cecilia looked up from her books. They’d been in his room all afternoon, and they had even managed to get along with each other. Cecilia had been reading something for her Swedish studies, and he had been struggling with his Math homework.
“You are? Where?”
“Anywhere you like, we’re rich now, remember?”
Cecilia gave him a big smile. “Yeah! But seriously, where are we going?”
“To a movie or something. I’m sick of studying, and since you’re supposedly my wife, I have to take you with me. I’ll just ask Fred if he can lend me some money. Maybe he can pay me for looking after you? If there’s such a thing as child support, there must be something like ‘girlfriend support’ too.”
“Screw you,” she grinned. “You can borrow money from me, if you want. In this other universe of ours, you know, where I’m your annoying friend, instead of your...”
“Annoying wife?”
“I was going to say ‘loving wife’, but what the hell.”
Cecilia jumped up from the chair and climbed onto Fred’s bed. Since they were ‘married’, they had to live together. They didn’t share a bed of course, and for Charlie was mighty thankful for that, but Cecilia seemed determined to take their ‘marriage’ as far as possible. She had occupied Fred’s bed ever since that same morning when she’d moved some of her stuff into his and Charlie’s room.
Fred had to sleep in her room from now on, right across the hall from Connie. Well, they all had some marriage problems to deal with...
“Well, let’s get going then,” Charlie said. “We can just pretend to be friends for the next couple of hours.”
“What about the egg?”
This was ridiculous. “I think the unborn baby can take care of itself for a while.”
It was actually quite funny to go see a movie with Cecilia. If the movie was boring or bad, she could start throwing popcorn at the screen and boo. The downside was that she usually blamed him for the booing and the popcorn throwing, but it was still a blast to go see a movie with her.
“What are we going to see this time?” Cecilia asked when they got to the theatre.
“Uhm, dunno. That movie with that hot chick, maybe?”
“Hey, hey, hey! You’re here with your wife, Conway. You can’t be ogling at other girls when you’re with me.”
“Why? It’s not like you haven’t been all over Fred as soon as Connie’s looked the other way.”
“Well, that’s different.”
“Explain to me how that’s different. You’re cheating on me, but I can’t look at other girls. Mean.”
They both calmed down when they finally got seated. Cecilia wanted to sit in the middle of the row, so they had to climb over some other people to get there. Man, she was difficult sometimes.
“I love this movie,” she said, grabbing some popcorn.
“You’ve seen it?”
“Nah, but as long as he’s in it, I’ll be very content.”
They’d agreed on seeing something they could both enjoy mutually. Charlie wanted to stare at the leading lady, and Cecilia wanted to drool over the fairly handsome guy who played the leading male.
Behind them there was a bunch of troublemakers, throwing popcorn at the couple beside them. “If I told you to beat them up, would you?” Cecilia asked him, without taking her eyes of the screen.
“Nah, you can kick their asses by yourself. You don’t need me for that.”
Cecilia gave him a hurt look. “I’m your wife, for crying out loud!”
Charlie shrugged. “Well, be a silent, passive wife, then. Shut up, she’s taking her top off.”
Cecilia shot him an evil stare, and then she flashed him a smile. “What are you doing?” he asked worriedly. Cecilia got up from her seat and waved her arms around.
“Hey, if anyone tries to mess with me, you’ll be in big trouble!”
Several people yelled ‘shut up’, and a lot of popcorn came flying towards her.
“Are you trying to pick a fight, or what?” someone yelled.
“Yeah! Just try and mess with me, I dare you!”
“What are you gonna do about it?” was the next question.
“Well, my husband here is gonna kick some serious ass, if anyone as much as looks at me!”
Oh, man.
“Cecilia, sit down, and shut up,” he hissed at her.
Cecilia just smirked. “Treat me bad, and I’ll get your ass into trouble,” she mumbled to him. “Just imagine the damage you could’ve caused for our son/daughter. What kind of a role model are you, anyway?”
For a not so mysterious reason they got thrown out of there. Cecilia was laughing all the way to the Rainbow Café. “Man; that was great! Too bad they didn’t pick an actual fight with you. That would’ve been priceless to see.” She threw her arms around his neck and made him carry her the last distance. “You’re definitely my favorite husband, Charlie.”
So very freaking great, then.
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Notes: From Adam’s point of view.
Charlie and Cecilia came bursting into Rainbow. Charlie appeared to have been horribly humiliated – again – and Cecilia was on her usual sugar high.
“Look, it’s the
“If you ever call us that again, I’m making Sarah a widow,” Charlie threatened. “Sit down, be quiet, don’t move, don’t speak, don’t even breathe, and I might forgive you some day in the future,” he ordered Cecilia.
Cecilia did as she was told. For a while, anyway.
“What have you been doing?” Guy asked. “Why do you look like the world’s gonna end, Charlie?”
Charlie couldn’t hide his smile any longer. “I have the worst wife in the world.”
“Well, big news, you stated that yesterday,” Cecilia responded. Charlie waved her quiet.
“Tell us the story behind your latest marriage trouble,” Adam requested.
“I was trying to cheer Charlie, my beloved husband, up. So I tried with my charm.”
“She told some guys at the movie theatre that I was going to kick their asses if they tried to mess with her. Somehow, they did not see the charm in that. We got kicked out, and I’m banned for life. By own choice.”
“Well, I made you a bit happier, didn’t I?”
“A little, maybe. Let’s get back home; I’m tired of this marriage. I want you to sleep in your own room tonight.”
“Well, I can’t, since Fred’s staying there, so he can be close to his wife.”
“It’s sad but true,” Guy said. “I’m forced
to live in Travis room, and Sarah sleeps there too, while
“So, the only ones who are actually getting the advantage here is the gay-couple? That’s unfair. I thought they were supposed to be the ones struggling the most.”
“Well, we can’t all be that unfortunate, can we?” Adam smiled. “Besides, I’m only staying there because Sarah kicked me out. Is it just me, or are the girls taking this far more seriously then we are?”
Cecilia opened her mouth to answer, but Charlie hushed her down. “Quiet, wife.”
“Oh, you got her tamed, good for you,” Guy grinned. “Fred will appreciate that when you return her.”
“For the last time, I’m not...”
Charlie gave Cecilia a menacingly glare. The surprising part was that she actually obeyed him. It had taken Fred several months and hundredths of tries before he had been able to do that.
Charlie’s threat about going back to his own room and locking Cecilia out came to nothing. Instead they all stayed behind at Rainbow for a couple of hours. Like they usually did, when they weren’t as married as they were right at that point...
Connie showed up half an hour after Cecilia and Charlie. She was also running away from her marriage. They were all gathered around the table, eating their ninth portion of French-fries, bitching about who had the worst spouse. Charlie and Cecilia were trying to top each other off, so it got pretty loud after a while.
“So, I guess life with Fred isn’t as peachy as you thought,” Guy grinned.
“Actually, he’s a perfect husband. He’s taking care of the triplets back at the dorm.”
“Triplets? My, my, my, Moreau. Been busy, huh?” Charlie teased. “I remembered the day when you said you weren’t going to get married ‘at all’.”
“Well, I’m not gonna marry Fred, if that’s what you’re implying. I wouldn’t even want to, anyway.”
“Not good ‘nough for ya?” Cecilia said, slurping through her straw.
“He’s good enough for you,” Connie pointed out. Realizing what she’d just said, she gave Cecilia a look filled with guilt. “Sorry, that didn’t come out right.”
“It’s okay, I don’t care.”
Adam had a feeling that she did care a lot, actually. She stirred her Coke around and then she smiled at Connie. “I don’t wanna marry him either, so it doesn’t matter, right?”
“You don’t?” Connie asked her. “So, who are you gonna marry then?”
“Jeez, what is this? The daily pop-quiz, with today’s special subject ‘wedding’? Christ, what’s up with you people? Just because I don’t wanna marry Fred, it means I’m gonna marry someone else? I’m not getting married at all! So there, you got an explanation. I’m not gonna marry Fred, coz I don’t believe in love and marriage. I don’t even believe in God anymore, so why the hell should I get married?”
Cecilia got up from her seat and grabbed her jacket. “I’m going back to the dorm.” Charlie opened his mouth to say something, but Cecilia had already stormed out. Connie looked devastated.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Connie told them.
“Don’t think about it, Con, she’s obviously having her bitchy attitude on,” Charlie muttered. “You asked her a simple question, and she bites your head off? Yeah, that’s sane.”
“She seemed upset; maybe I should talk to her?” Connie said, getting up. Charlie grabbed her arm.
“She’s probably gonna run into Fred, argue with him and make up. Leave her alone, that’s the best thing to do right now.”
“She doesn’t believe in love. That’s so sad,” Connie went on. “How can you not believe in love?”
“It’s Cecilia. She’s like a freakin’ maze to figure out. She doesn’t believe in love, marriage, God, sanity. Well, tough for her, maybe she should get a grip and stop whining like a baby. If she lost her faith, why take it out on us?”
Adam shrugged. It was obvious that Charlie was still pissed at her for that last practice; otherwise he wouldn’t insult her like this, behind her back. Well, behind and behind, she was actually standing right behind his back...
“Charlie, hush,” Guy whispered.
“No, I will not ‘hush’! She’s actually very annoying with her mood swings and bad attitude. I have bad days too, but I don’t go around yelling at people, blaming them for my own bad luck. If she can’t deal with her life, maybe she should just kill herself, that’s the only way out, as I see it. God, she’s such a pain in the ass!”
“Charlie,” Connie hissed. “Shut up!”
Charlie gave her a puzzled look. “What?”
If Adam hadn’t been sitting so far away from him, he would’ve shoved him a little. How could he say something like that, not knowing who could be listening? This was serious; saying things like that to Cecilia could make her freak out completely.
“I forgot my wallet.” Cecilia grabbed it from the table and hurried away towards the door again. Charlie looked like he was going to throw up. He was definitely getting an ‘F’ now...
“Charlie, what the hell, man.” Guy stared at him angrily. “I thought you were the team captain. Don’t you have any decency at all? Man, Sarah’s gonna have an outburst if she finds out about this, and I’ll be facing a bad grade.”
“Don’t be so selfish,” Connie snapped. “It’s not about you and your lovely wife Sarah. It’s not about the project at all. Charlie just destroyed his friendship with Cecilia, and you’re whining about a bad grade?”
Guy rolled his eyes. “Don’t take it out on me, just because Fred’s dragging you down.”
“He’s not, he’s actually very smart, and he’s struggling way harder then any of you guys. Cut him some slack and stop being such a jerk, Guy!”
“Sounds familiar, aren’t you supposed to be throwing yourself at Luis right about now?”
Connie growled angrily and got up from the table. “Fred’s your friend, remember? And up until now, I thought I was your girlfriend, but I guess I was wrong, huh?”
“Whatever.” Guy didn’t even try to stop her.
“What’s going on here?” Adam asked. “Have you all gone completely mental? Guy, go after her, man.”
“No, I won’t. This was not entirely my fault, so why should I apologize?”
“Because you were totally out of line, maybe?” Adam replied.
“This is worse then any marriage,” Charlie growled. “This project is splitting us apart. I rather fail the class then continue with this for another two weeks.”
“Well, it’ll be a perfect opportunity to practice on the assignments. If you can make up with the girls, I bet you’ll get an A.”
Guy shrugged. “Connie’s not my ‘wife’.”
“Well, practice on Sarah, you’re supposed to be dysfunctional, and then use your newfound skills to get Connie back.”
Guy began to object, but Adam interrupted him. “I know that this stuff works, because I’ve already written down an argument between Travis and myself.”
“Written down?” Charlie smirked. “You’re the feisty couple, I see.”
“Well, to get an A, you have to put some effort into it. Try it yourselves, it works.”
“I’m killing you if it doesn’t.”
Adam got up to leave. “Well, you two can mope about that for a while. I’m off to see so that Cecilia’s not on the edge of some building somewhere. See ya.”
Two grumpy ‘see yas’ were heard before he pushed the door open and left.
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