Fun Stuff
Man who run in front of car get tired;
Man who run in back of car get exhausted.
Man who run in front of car get tired;
Man who run in back of car get exhausted.
What rednecks think of computer terms:
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BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to that strange city boy
tryin' to sell me a vacuum
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
CRASH - When you go to a swingin' party uninvited
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE - Nasty Female Disco dancer
FAX - What you could lie about to the IRS
HACKER - Poor sap after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY - Copies made on heavy papers
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Bubba's favorite fast food burger
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after head butting Bubba
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE - Where to stay when coloring
ROM - Where some Italians live
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear
SERIAL PORT - A bowl you put the stuff in for breakfast with milk
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
TERMINAL - Time to call the cemetery
(author unknown)
MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY FOR DUMMIES
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ANTIBODY: against everyone
ARTERY: the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN: what you be after you be eight
BOWEL: letters like A, E, I, O, or U
CAESARIAN SECTION: a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY: advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN: searching for ones lost kitty
CAUTERIZE: made eye contact with her
COMA: a punctuation mark ,
CONGENITAL: friendly
CORTISONE: the local courthouse
D & C: where Washington is
DILATE: to live longer
ENEMA: not a friend
ER: the things on your head that you hear with
FIBRILLATE: to tell lies
GENES: blue denim slacks
HEMORRHOID: a male from outer space
IMPOTENT: distinguished, well known
LABOR PAIN: hurt at work
MINOR OPERATION: somebody else's
ORGAN TRANSPLANT: what you do to your piano when you move
PARALYZE: two far-fetched stories
PATHOLOGICAL: a reasonable way to go
PHARMACIST: person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
PROTEIN: in favor of young people
RED BLOOD COUNT: Dracula
RHEUMATIC: amorous
SECRETION: hiding anything
TABLET: a small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS: getting sick at the airport
TIBIA: country in North Africa
TRIPLE BYPASS: better than a quarterback sneak
TUMOR: an extra pair
URINE: opposite of "you're out"
VARICOSE: very close
VEIN: conceited
Oh, wouldn't this make your day???
