The Curse of the Fangirls After the Christmas concert ended, after many drunken troopers had retired, and after many droids had exploded (mostly from Cor pouring Bierr into every gap in their bodies) the battlefield was silent. The Arse Squad and Grievous were still on the stage, at a loss about how a lot of things happened over the last few nights. Finn and Rio were snoring beside the largest of the amps, Fletcher was massaging his pounding head while sitting on the edge of the stage and Reggie was tangled up in some wires backstage. Grievous was spread across the centre stage, staring into space, something he hadn�t done in years. Cor was knitting all the wires together, Fletcher suspected it was he who tied up Reggie. A shadow came around the edges of the stage, unnoticed, heading for Grievous. Fletcher slowly got up and walked towards Finn and Rio to wake them. He was sorely tempted to kick them, because his head really, really hurt. The shadow came nearer. Grievous was completely unaware. �BOO!� �AAAAAAAH!!!� Shaak Ti laughed as Grievous jumped about six feet into the air. He dropped as soon as he hit seven feet and Shaak ran underneath to catch him. �I�LL CATCH YOU!� Grievous tried unsuccessfully to fall somewhere else then seemed to land perfectly into Shaak�s waiting arms. But, a second later, she collapsed under his weight. Fletcher cried out in pain as that sound of metal- landing -on -metal -helped -by -gravity reached his ears. �IF YOU HAVE TO DO THAT NOW, DO IT SOMEWHERE ELSE!� Grievous jumped off Shaak immediately. �I WASN�T DOING ANYTHING, IT WAS HER!� Shaak got up and dusted herself off nonchalantly. Grievous glared at her. �Why don�t you stalk someone ELSE! Go find Kirby, or, or Meta Knight or some other unfortunate wretch. I�ve got three simple words for you: Leave. Me. Alone!� Shaak obviously wasn�t listening. She was absently gazing at Grievous golden eyes. �You�re so cute when you�re angry.� Grievous sighed loudly in exasperation and whirled around. �Where are the little puff balls anyway?� Fletcher shrugged. �Dunno. Flew off a while ago.� Grievous cursed inaudibly and kicked a random rock off the platform. Fletcher shook his head, winced in pain and went to find the others. �I think I�ll leave you two to sort out your problems.� He paused, and called to Grievous. �Oh, you might want to know, Shaak was using voodoo over the past few days.� Grievous went rigid, and turned to Shaak. She grinned sheepishly. �So that�s why I felt so weird-!� He stopped suddenly, and covered his mouthpiece, looking horrified. Shaak brightened up considerably. �IT WORKS?� Grievous was now whacking his head off the nearest guitar. Shaak frowned, and took out a Grievous plushie. Fletcher backed away slowly for a certain distance then ran. He vaguely registered that Grievous had stopped his head whacking, and glanced back. Grievous had dropped the guitar and it looked like he was frozen. But on closer inspection, his eyes were wide and fearful. Fletcher had no time for speculation though, because at that moment Cor ran headlong into him. �Ow! What the-?� Cor was hopping up and down and pointing at his throat. Fletcher looked at him quizzically, then Cor coughed. Fletcher thought for a moment. �Sore throat?� Cor nodded vigorously. Fletcher continued. �Ok, sore throat, no speakiness, lost your...what�s that word? Ah, yes, voice.� Cor nodded again. He suddenly looked so woebegone that Fletcher laughed. �Hey! Don�t worry! We�ll have you back shouting your lungs off in no time!� Fletcher looked over Cor�s shoulder. �But first, Reggie.� Reggie waved from his wire-covered vantage point. Cor rolled his eyes, pulled out his Deece and shot the wires apart. Reggie rolled to the side as the amp started spitting sparks. Fletcher paled. �Cor �oh shit!� Reggie scrambled to his feet and ran to Fletcher�s side. Finn and Rio had woken up and they high-tailed it past Cor, Fletcher and Reggie. Fletcher spun around and ran, Cor and Reggie following suit. They jumped off the stage just as the amp exploded, creating a huge fireball. �AAAAAAAAAH!� They landed on the slushy snow, the back and butt of their armour still warm from the fireball. Cor jumped to his feet. �GEE�croak.� The Arse Squad searched the flames for their metallic buddy. A few seconds later, Rio spotted something. �There!� The others followed his gaze. A strange, hunched, shadow was emerging. The flames retreated for them. It got nearer and more distinct. They all breathed a sigh of relief. It was Grievous and he was carrying�Shaak? She was looking extremely pleased with herself and her arms were draped over Grievous� neck. Finn looked him up and down. �Why�d you rescue her?� �I have no idea�� Grievous suddenly dropped Shaak and fled. Shaak dusted herself off as she got off the ground. �He�ll be back.... They always come back�� They cast nervous glances at each other. Fletcher motioned for the others to back away slowly. Cor started coughing violently. Reggie pointed at him. �You sound just like Geegee!� Finn clapped Cor hard on the back. �Better?� �No�croak.� Rio eyed him critically. �Sounds more like a frog to me.� Reggie was looking thoughtfully at Cor. �Maybe he has a frog in his throat?� Fletcher slapped his forehead. (They left their helmets in the gunship.) �Go back to sleep, Reg. Come on, we better find the Destroyer.� He paused. �Which way did we come?� ��Dunno.� �Fucking planet, everything looks the same!� �Oh�shit. Where did Cor park the gunship?� ��Croak.� Fletcher turned to them. �Cor where is the gunship?� Cor croaked again. �Point then.� ��Kirbys...cough cough.� Fletcher exploded. (No, not literally) �YOU GAVE IT TO THE KIRBYS?!� Cor shook his head meekly and pointed to Rio, who jumped. �What? Oh right, the snow thing�� Fletcher glared at him. �What did you do?� �Well, the Kirbys needed a place to crash after flying around the place all the time, and I said�WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!� Fletcher, Reggie, Finn and Cor whirled around to see a winged shape land among them. It was rather smaller than Rio�s shout had foretold. Meta Knight rolled to his feet and his demon wings disappeared under his cloak. �M-mety?� Meta Knight�s eyes narrowed. �Don�t call me that.� Reggie blinked. �Then what are we supposed to call you?� �Just Meta Knight, if you have to say anything.� �What about Knighty?� �No.� �Sword guy?� �No.� �Masky?� �NO.� Meta Knight rolled his eyes irritably �Maybe it would be better if you didn�t call me anything.� �Yeah, cause what kind of name is Anything?� Meta Knight slapped his masked forehead and turned his back on Reggie. Reggie was undeterred. �Where did your wings go?� �What wings?� �The wings-what?� �What?� �What??� �Exactly.� Meta Knight�s eyes flashed orange as Reggie dithered over the last few seconds. �I�m so confused�� �Good.� Rio was still staring at the sky. �I repeat, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?� It was a helicopter, and it was heading straight for them. Inside, several fangirls screamed. Meta Knight drew his sword. �Oh shit�not again!� He spun on the spot, thumped the flat of his sword off Cor�s throat and dashed into the landfill of the nearest city. �You�ll find your gunship in here! Follow me!� Fletcher, Finn, Reggie and Rio all exchanged puzzled glances. Cor suddenly jumped on Finn�s shoulders. �I�M FREE! FREE FROM DUMBNESS!� �COR! I�m gonna fall!� �No time for falling! Go!� Fletcher dragged them both behind him, after Rio and Reggie. They were already running after Meta Knight. Rio caught up with him. �What did you do to Cor?� �He has his voice back, that�s the important thing.� They quickly jumped the small wooden fence surrounding the landfill. They heard the distant sound of a helicopter landing. Meta Knight, Reggie and Rio were waiting for them near a pile of old washing machines. Finn voiced their unanimous thought. �What was that?� Meta Knight looked uncomfortable. �Some crazed�fangirls.� He shuddered. Then he regained his usual composure and opened the nearest washing machine. �But now we need to cross this dump.� Fletcher stared incredulously at the washing machine. �We can�t fit in that!� �Who said anything about going in?� Meta Knight reached for the �on� switch, but he was too short. He grumbled, got a random box and climbed on top. Pressing the button, he swatted Cor�s hand away from the other buttons and jumped off. The machine flung itself backwards. A large hole appeared underneath. He pointed to it. �You�re going down.� �Why did we come down here in the first place?� Rio was complaining to Fletcher as they walked down the dark tunnel. �Because the little blue genius convinced us to.� Meta Knight was leading them through the tunnel, but it was just a little too low for the troopers. They occasionally bumped their heads off things, mostly cans, sticking out of the ceiling. The whole place stank, but Meta Knight assured them it was disinfected. He held a burning stick above his head, though Finn wasn�t sure if this was necessary, because they could see fairly well without it. He nudged Rio. �Do you think he�s a bit�dramatic?� Cor was behind them and he shoved Rio out of the way before he could answer. �Yeah! I wonder what kind of music he likes?� Rio shoved back again roughly. �Well why don�t you go see and let me answer!� �Geez...sorry. I forgot bad smells make you cranky, drama queen.� Rio whacked him over the head with a discarded frying pan. �Fuck off!� Cor looked like he was going to faint, then suddenly brought his right leg up and aimed for the groin. �AAAAAAAAH�SHIT!� Fletcher had been ignoring all this, thanks to months of practice. But now, he found himself pushed to the ground (which smelt of rotten eggs) as Cor leap frogged over him. �What the-� He was violently interrupted by Rio, who slammed him back into the dirt as he pursued Cor, shouting every curse in the book. Meta Knight�s reflexes served him well; he dived to the side and stuck out a foot. Cor fell and Rio flew over him. Meta Knight stood over them, his eyes blazing red. �WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! YOU WANT YOUR FUCKING GUNSHIP OR TO ROT IN THIS FUCKING STINKHOLE?! I DON�T GIVE A FUCK WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!� His wings were out now and coupled with his red eyes, he looked pretty damn impressive. He was panting heavily. Cor and Rio were looking scared. �That�s a big outburst for such a small guy.� Meta Knight glared at Cor. He wavered. ��Sorry.� A few seconds of tense silence followed and then Meta Knight let out a huge sigh. His eyes faded back to their usual yellow and his wings drooped. �No, no don�t apologise. I just needed to get that off my chest. Shall we?� He gestured to the tunnel. His wings vanished before Reggie could say anything. �We�re almost there.� They all looked a little shocked, but they got to their feet and followed him. After about a minute of silence, Meta Knight spoke again. �We�re here.� All the Arse Squad could see was plain, putrid wall. However, they didn�t say anything. Meta Knight knocked on the wall, then shook some sticky stuff off his glove. A small window slid open showing, Kirby eyes. �Yes? Who�s there?� �Meta Knight, and the Arse Squad.� The eyes disappeared for a moment, and they all heard the Kirby yell to his companions. �Hey guys! It�s Mety! And the other singing thingys.� Fletcher saw Meta Knight twitch at the word �Mety�. Meta Knight answered calmly. �Are you going to let us in, Gilbert?� The Kirby eyes were back, along with some others. �Hold on a moment. Aren�t you gonna sing us a song?� ��You can�t be serious.� Fletcher noticed Cor perk up suddenly. He nodded with the Kirbys. �Come on! Sing something you like!� The Kirbys chatted together. �Yeah�what�s that band? R.E.M.?� �No, no, there�s something else-� �-A musical or something-� Fletcher could imagine Meta Knight�s face paling. �W-what musical?� His voice was shaky. The Kirbys continued. �You know, the one you did a while ago-� �-With the masked guy-� �-Which you did perfectly, by the way-� �-In, what was it? A ballet?� �-No, it was an OPERA!� All the eyes lit up. �THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!� Meta Knight raised his hands. �Oh, no, no, no! I don�t do that anymore.� A familiar voice rose above the chattering Kirbys. �Who�s out there? Who�s singing? It better be good.� It was Grievous. Some Kirbys disappeared to make room for him. Fletcher couldn�t help but ask. �Where�s Shaak?� Grievous looked at him oddly. �In the helicopter with all the other fucking nutcases.� �Ah.� �Yeah. Anyway, come on puff ball, entertain me.� Meta Knight took a step backwards. �I told you, I don�t do that anymore!� Several Kirby voices chimed. �Of course you do!� �It�s either that or-� �-Or singing �At My Most Beautiful�-� �-With your mask off!� Grievous flung the door open. �That�s it! Come here!� He grabbed Meta Knight�s collar. Meta Knight dug his hands into the wall. �I-I don�t have a Christine to sing it with!� The Arse Squad and several Kirbys paid no attention to him, but started chanting his name. �Meta Knight! Meta Knight! Meta Knight! Meta Knight!� Grievous tugged harder. �Come on, MK.� Reggie suddenly jumped. �I GOT IT! WE�LL CALL HIM MK!� Grievous stared at him. �That�s what I said!� Reggie deflated. ��Oh, ok.� �MK! MK! MK! MK!� Meta Knight was finally dragged through the door. Fletcher, Cor, Finn, Rio and Reggie quickly followed. �But I don�t have a-� �I�LL DO IT!� Everyone turned, surprised. �Up here!� They all looked up. Meta Knight tried to escape, but Grievous held him fast. Shaak�s head was sticking out of the ceiling, grinning from ear to ear. The Kirbys looked from her to Meta Knight. �Now you have to do it!� Meat Knight sighed and closed his eyes in final defeat. Shaak dropped down from the ceiling. �Alright, you win. I�ll do it.� One Kirby threw Shaak a microphone. Several ran to get instruments. Fletcher searched the cave they were now in for the gunship. He nudged the others and pointed. �There it is.� It looked different. Better, because the Kirbys had painted it while it was in their possession. There were yellow stripes all along the doors and yellow eyes painted above the cannons. The cannons were blood red, and made up part of an open mouth, complete with white teeth. Two black stripes ran up the front to where a �nose� might be. The wings were sky blue with white bands on them. They gazed at it in admiration. Cor ran up to it and gave it an awkward hug. �MY PRECIOUS!� Fletcher walked over to him. �Come on, let�s go.� Cor looked crestfallen. �But I wanna hear MK sing!� Fletcher looked back at Rio, Finn, and Reggie. They nodded franticly. �Fine. But as soon as he�s finished, we�re leaving.� �Fine by me!� Cor ran back and sat in the front row of Kirbys that had gathered around Meta Knight. A small band had set up behind him. Meta Knight silently counted during the intro, then nodded to Shaak. She had quite a good voice, a little loud, and even Grievous� eyes widened. �In sleep he sang to me In dreams he came That voice which calls to me And speaks my name And do I dream again? For now I find The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside my mind.� Meta Knight turned his eyes upward, thinking �why did I agree to this?� �Sing once again with me Our strange duet My power over you Grows stronger yet-� Shaak suddenly glanced at Grievous and he jumped. Meta Knight ignored them. He was doing something he was good at, like sword fighting, and he wasn�t going to let two psychopaths mess it up. �-And though you turn from me To glance behind The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside your mind.� He looked at Shaak. She took up the cue perfectly. Grievous quietly started to slip away. �Those who have seen your face Draw back in fear I am the mask you wear-� Meta Knight blushed though no one could see it, at the word �mask�. �How does she know the words so well?� �It�s me they hear.� They joined voices. �My spirit and your voice-� �Your spirit and my voice-� �In one combined The Phantom of the Opera is there-� �Inside my mind.� �Inside your mind.� A group of Kirbys sang the chorus. �He�s there, the Phantom of the Opera Beware the Phantom of the Opera.� This was Shaak�s test, but before she could open her mouth, a small, dark blue Kirby knocked her off her feet and took her role. �Ah-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!� Everyone�s eyes widened considerably. She was good. Meta Knight got over his initial shock quickly. �Sing, my angel of music.� �Ah-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah! Ah-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!� �Sing!� �Ah-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah! Ah-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah!� �Sing for me!� Higher and higher, even higher than her spectators� eyebrows, the little Kirby sang. �Aaaaaaaaaaaaah. Aaaaaaaaaaaah.� �Sing, my angel!� �Aaaaaaaaaaaaah. Aaaaaaaaaaaah.� �Sing for me!� �AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!� The whole room vibrated with her last note. All of the audience sat there in shock. The Kirby spun around and whipped Meta Knight�s mask off. Meta Knight laughed devilishly; he had another one on underneath. �You don�t get me that easily anymore!� But one of the musicians undid the straps of that one too. It clattered to the ground, revealing Meta Knight�s cute little Kirby face, amber eyes wide with shock. Everyone stared, and then the silence was broken by Cor, Finn, Rio and Reggie�s laughter, coming from the back and front of the cave. They started rolling around on the floor, pounding their fists and Cor had tears in his eyes. That set Fletcher off and the puff balls beside him. Soon, the whole cave was ringing with laughter. Meta Knight stood there and glared at them all, which just made them laugh harder. The Arse Squad were gasping for breath now. But one Kirby wasn�t laughing. The singing Kirby just smiled happily at Meta Knight, even when he drew his cloak around him, though the damage was done. She picked up the mask she had dropped and handed it to him. The assorted guffaws and giggles were subsiding now, though Cor still sniggered continuously on the background. Meta Knight put the mask back on, and then with warning the little Kirby hugged him. There was a resounding �awwwww�� from everyone, except Grievous. Shaak searched the crowd for him, but he had long made his escape. She stamped her foot angrily. �HE�S GONE AGAIN!� Fletcher rounded up the others. �Ok, we heard him sing-� �-And saw his face-� The other four sniggered again. �I can�t believe we were scared of that.� �You were scared?� �Well I-� �Haha! Finn was scared!� �Fuck off Rio! You were too!� �Alright, break it up and get in the gunship!� Cor�s arms were immediately seized by Rio and Reggie. �Oh, no, you�re not driving ever again.� Finn ran over and hopped into the pilot� seat. �My turn! Now how do you work this thing?� Fletcher shook his head and led the others into the passenger hold. Anything would be better than Cor driving. Cor was sulking now. Rio was the last into the ship and he tripped over something that the others never noticed the hem of a greeny-grey cape. �Geegee?� General Grievous was crouching behind the door of the ship, making various gestures to shut up and act normal. Fletcher nodded. �Gotcha. Girlfriend trouble.� Grievous would have slammed him against the wall of the gunship had Shaak not been so close. Instead he merely shot dagger looks at Fletcher. Fletcher smirked. �Gun it, Finn.� Finn was still working out the controls. �Ok...what does this one do...� Two missiles shot out of the cannons and blasted an escape hole in front of them. �Hey! That was handy�ok, this one?� Th gunship went into full reverse, and reduced the wall behind them to rubble. Finn looked back at the mess and grinned sheepishly. �Ooops...wait I think this is it...� �Hold on Finn! Look at THAT!� Fletcher�s shout turned every head in the ship. Outside, the dark blue Kirby had taken Meta Knight�s mask off again, and was snogging him hard. There was a look of shock and amazement on Meta Knight�s face. Th Arse Squad started catcalling and whistling at them. Suddenly, the ceiling was blown apart and dozens of fangirls started pouring in, screaming. The Arse Squad didn�t hesitate for a second. They pulled out their Deeces and fired, shooting all of the fangirls. Soon the bodies were lying all over the room. Meta Knight had detached himself from the Kirby as soon as the fangirls appeared, and breathed a huge sigh of relief once they were disposed of. Fletcher pocketed his twin blasters. �Don�t look too happy, they were only set for stun.� The Kirbys and Meta Knight froze, and then all at once they flew out of the cave through multiple exits, dropping everything to run. Fletcher nodded to Finn. Finn saluted. �Republic camp here we...wait. Geegee, where do you want to be dropped off?� �Anywhere but here.� �Alrighty then.� The gunship engines roared to life and they blasted out of the landfill, scattering rubbish everywhere on the way.
