A Christmas Battle �WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!!!� Finn, Fletcher, Rio and Reggie all groaned as they were pummelled by pillows from Cor. Fletcher pulled his covers over his head. �Why does he always wake up first?� Rio was doing the same. �Someone hand my the chlorophyll.� Finn groped around for it. �For you or Cor?� �Cor.� �That would be the bigger bottle-OWW! DAMNIT COR! WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT PILLOW?!� They heard Finn moaning in pain, soon drowned out by Cor�s reply. �SILVER BULLETS!� Reggie sat up. �Whoa...that�s got to hurt.� �GETUPGETUPGETUPGETUPGETUP!!!� Fletcher could see no way out of this. �Alright, I�m getting up.� The others grumbled about this, but eventually Cor and Fletcher got then up. Cor was bouncing around like a maniac so Fletcher signalled and Rio and Reggie dog-piled him. He didn�t seem to mind, there was something even stranger than usual about him. �Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee�� Fletcher loomed over him, shaking his head. �Cor, Geegee sent back your CD.� Cor immediately stopped laughing and looked deeply hurt. Fletcher saw tears coming. �Ok, ok Cor! He didn�t, just don�t start crying!� Cor�s tears vanished. �Gotcha.� Fletcher held back the urge to kick him while he was down. �Now, what the hell is wrong with you?� Cor was silent. But only for a moment. Then he started shouting again, and his grin was back. �IT�S ALMOST CHRISTMAS! YAY!� �Oh no, no way. We�re not having another one of those. I�ve still got scars from last year. And that was a once off type thing. We�re not even religious!� �I WANNA ANYWAY! I EVEN GOT YOU PRESENTS!� Fletcher sighed exasperatedly. �I went along with it last year, because you promised not to do this again. I�ll like to do it again-� Cor looked up hopefully. �-When PIGS FLY!� Cor cocked his head and whistled. Another Kirby with a snout and wings came floating through the Grievous sized hole in the viewport. Cor looked back at Fletcher. �Now?� Fletcher slapped his forehead. �That�s not a flying pig!� �It�s a flying pig Kirby! That�s close enough!� �No it�s not!� Finn thought about the Christmas idea. �Why can�t we have a Christmas. It was fun last year.� Fletcher whirled around. �For fuck�s sake, not you too.� Rio and Reggie released Cor. �I want to have a Christmas. �I want a present.� Cor leapt to his feet. �That�s it! 4 to 1! We win, Sarg!� ��Damnit. Why do I even bother?� Cor ran out. �I�LL GET THE TUNES!� Fletcher glared at the others accusingly. Soon enough, the stereo was blaring out Christmas songs. Rio had brought in a plant (there were no trees) and he and Finn were decorating it with whatever they could find, mostly Kirbys (who were very laid back when it came to hanging from something and keeping still) that had infiltrated the cruiser. They had popped up out of nowhere; troopers were beginning to think they were trying to rescue Shaak�s Kirby. Cor was swinging Reggie around by the ankles in time with the music. Fletcher was sitting on a couch; bluntly ignoring everything around him, even when Cor finally let go and Reggie went flying half way across the room. He landed beside the far wall, with dazed and unfocused eyes. Cor left him there, did something normal (ish) for a change and started jumping on his couch. �CHRISTMAS TIME, DON�T LET THE BELLS END-� Rio subtly changed the track. �Hey� OH I WISH IT COULD BE CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY-� Finn darted towards the stereo to change it again. �SLEIGH BELLS RING ARE YOU LISTENING-� Finn yelled to the others. �MAYBE WE SHOULD TURN IT OFF!� �WHAT?� �I SAID, MAYBE WE SH- NEVER MIND.� �WHAT?� Finn switched it off, but Cor kept singing. �-A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT, WE�RE HAPPY TONIGHT-hey look!� Cor jumped down. He ran to the window and hung out. �IT�S FIGHTIN� TIME!� The others, even Fletcher, hurried over. Sure enough, the Republic was gathering its army outside. They couldn�t see the Separatists yet, but they were sure they were well on the way. Finn looked back at Fletcher. �Should we go down, or what?� �Meh...we probably have to.� Rio turned back to the plant that was half finished. �Screw that.� They all turned away from the viewport. Just then, the Grievous Kirby ran into their room, panting heavily. Fletcher went over to it. �What�s up, Gee Kirb?� �S-she�s trying to kill me!� Fletcher didn�t need to ask who �she� was. �How?� �She keeps hugging me really tightly and poking me with stuff.� �Poor you.� The Krby nodded frantically. �She keeps saying �voodoo� and stuff, and I don�t even know what that is!� Shaak appeared at the doorway. When she saw Kirby, she screeched and ran towards him. �THERE YOU ARE! YOU SCARED MOMMY! IF YOU KEEP RUNNING OFF LIKE THAT, YOU�LL GET HURT!� She bundled Kirby into her arms and swept out. Fletcher saw Kirby struggling wildly. Shaak suddeenly stopped and faced the Arse Squad. �You all have to go outside.� They got their helmets and filed out quietly for once, casting nervous glances behind. When they strolled out of the Destroyer, a lot later than they should have, the battle was already raging. Cor took Fletcher�s electrobinoculars and scanned the scene for General Grievous. He was keeping his distance this time, and with good reason: Agen and Shaak were surveying the battle before them. They didn�t see Shaak go out, but they did take their time coming out, so she had out walked them. Her Kirby was peeping out of a backpack she left on the ground, waiting for a chance to flee. Finn waved to him. �I wonder why he doesn�t just take off the Grievous mask and swallow her?� Fletcher replied almost at once. �He probably can�t, or doesn�t want to. He�ll never get to swallow Geegee again. Where�s Cor?� Indeed, Cor had vanished without a trace. Reggie and Rio looked behind, at where Cor used to be. �He was here a second ago�� �Yeah�hey wait. Where�s Finn gone?� Fletcher spun around. �I was just talking to�him. Shit, I bet they did this to get out of fighting! I was going to do that! Now my chance is RUINED!� Fletcher fell on his knees. �DAMN YOU!� Reggie and Rio glanced at each other. Rio went to help Fletcher up. �There, there Sarg. You can bunk off some other time.� A loud screech of brakes interrupted them. Their gunship appeared and hovered next to them, Cor waving vigorously from the cockpit and Finn hanging out of the side with his bodhran, beating it absent-mindedly. Just as Fletcher, Reggie and Rio hopped into the passenger hold, hundreds of Kirbys, in different hats or wings surrounded the gunship. They hovered beside it, sat on the wings or got into the cockpit or back. Two of them flew up on small feathery wings with Shaak�s Kirby between them. As soon as he jumped down onto the gunship, the rest of the Kirbys bowed low. �Welcome back, King Kirby.� Finn nudged Fletcher. �Did you know Brentaal was a monarchy?� Fletcher rolled his eyes at this. King/Grievous Kirby motioned for his subjects to rise and face the Arse Squad, but they were all thrown flat on their cute little faces when Cor accelerated into the battle. After much groaning and stars swirling around the Kirbys got back on their feet. KG Kirby dusted himself off and spoke to the troopers. �Oh noble Arse Squad, I declare you friends of the Kirby Clan! You have shown friendship and relief from the dreaded Jedi Shaak Ti-� All the Kirbys shuddered. �- To me, and all of Brentaal 4 salutes you. But where is your friend, General Grievous? He has not, I admit, treated me as well as you have, but we have experienced similar traumas at the hands of Shaak Ti-� More shudders. �-That need to be discussed. Also, I need to return his lightsaber-� The rest of Kirby�s sentence was cut off by the timely arrival of General Grievous himself. He towered over all the Kirbys, snatched his lightsaber out of KG Kirby�s hand and nodded curtly to Cor, when he waved. He glared at the head Kirby. �You�re a pipsqueak and a little thief! Why would I want to discuss things about Shaak with you?� Finn nudged Reggie. �First names.� KG Kirby faced him fearlessly. �You�re calling me a thief?� Grievous twitched. �Shut up.� Kirby looked Grievous up and down. Or actually, up and up. �Poor general.� If Grievous could have gaped, he would have. �What? Why �poor general�?� But Kirby only shook his head. Grievous looked at the Arse Squad. �Why did he say that?� Kirby tapped him on the shin again. �Maybe you should give Shaak a chance.� Grievous looked back down. �What?! Are you NUTS? She drives me CRAZY!� A large amount of the Kirbys burst into song. �You drive me crazy I just can�t sleep I�m so excited-� �KNOCK IT OFF!� Grievous bellowed at them. They fell silent, all except one. �Oh baby baby How was I supposed to know That something wasn�t right-� �I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BASTARD!� The little Kirby pouted. �I�m a girl.� �WHATEVER!� Grievous lashed out at the Kirbys, but they jumped nimbly out of the cyborg�s reach. Suddenly Cor slammed on the brakes. �We�re HERE!� The troopers fought their way through the mass of Kirbys to look out the side. Grievous leant over their shoulders. They all raised their eyebrows, baffled. �A stage in the middle of a battlefield?� �Sure, Sarg, why not.� Rio looked up at the clouds forming over them. �Rain�s coming. I haven�t seen a proper storm since Kamino.� Cor parked the gunship right over the stage. �Comin�?� Finn was ready in a flash. �You bet!� The others were not so enthusiastic. Reggie voiced the question in all of their minds. �What do we do?� �Play. What do you think?� Cor replied, as if this was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. Surprisingly, Grievous got ready to jump out too, completely out of character. �I�m game.� �Go on you good thing!� Finn yelled. Fletcher patted his helmet. �I think the Irish pub has gone to your brain, Finn.� �Comin� Kirby?� �Uh-huh!� Together, all four of them jumped out and onto the platform below. Grievous went straight to the drumkit and twirled the drumsticks impatiently. Cor and Finn got the electric guitars, that were already hooked up to the massive amps on each side of the stage. Kirby went up front, lowered the mike and patted up. �Testing�testing.� The clone troopers and battle droids, who had not paid them any attention before, suddenly stopped fighting and stared at this strange sight. Kirby looked a little overwhelmed by all the faces. He glanced at Cor, who nodded. Kirby gulped and took a deep breath. But then he noticed something, or someone flying towards them. It looked a bit like Kirby, but with large bat like wings, a golden sword, yellow eyes peeping out from a metal mask and he was blue. Kirby beamed and waved. It was Meta Knight. He landed beside Kirby, placed his sword on the ground and held out his gloved paw to Finn, who handed him the guitar and seated himself next to the keyboard. Meta Knight thrummed the guitar experimentally and Kirby took it as his cue. �Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock-� As soon as he started Fletcher grabbed Reggie and they landed behind. Sneaking around the back, they found that the amps weren�t plugged in. �Is it red to blue, blue to yellow or red to yellow?� �Give me that.� A moment later the amps blared out the music at max volume and the trooper were literally thrown off the back stage. But the performers carried on. Rio was watching all this. He was glad Fletcher didn�t pull him out too, he was terrified of heights. Suddenly, he had an idea. He whistled, just like Cor did and at once the Kirbys stood to attention. It started raining outside. Rio spoke to the Kirbys quickly. �Who here has an Ice Power?� Several Kirbys raised their paws. �Listen, go out there and freeze that rain. Flying ones, help them out.� About fifteen Kirbys answered. �Will do.� The Cupid Kirbys lifted the Ice Kirbys out. They set to work quickly, blowing hard at the rain, and before long, there was snow everywhere. �Let it snow let it snow let it snow-� Kirby kept singing. Suddenly Meta Knight, Cor, Finn and Grievous changed song. Kirby started again. �It�s Christmastime, there�s no need to be afraid At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy Throw your arms around the world, at Christmastime.� Meta Knight produced a microphone out of nowhere and sang the next verse. �But say a prayer, to pray for the others ones At Christmastime, it�s hard, but when you�re having fun There�s a world outside your window And it�s a world of dread and fear-� Kirby and Meta Knight now sang together. �Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears And the Christmas bells that ring there Are the clanging chimes of doom-� Grievous� voice rang loud and clear. �Well tonight thank Gods it�s them, instead of you.� Everyone, from the Kirbys in the air, to the troopers down below, joined in. �And there won�t be snow in Tatooine this Christmastime The greatest gift they�ll get this year is life Oh, where nothing every grows, no rain or rivers flow Do they know it�s Christmastime at all? �Here�s to you raise a glass for everyone Here�s to them underneath the burning sun Do they know it�s Christmastime at all?� There was a moment of silence from the battlefield, only Kirby sang, softly. �Feed the world Feed the world Feed the world-� Now the song grew to a crescendo of sound. �Let them know it�s Christmastime Feed the world Let them know it�s Christmastime Feed the world Let them know it�s Christmastime again!� This continued for God knows how long and when they finished, there was much cheering, wolf whistles and clapping. Shaak�s voice rose above everyone else�s. �WE LOVE YOU GRIEVOUS! AND KIRBY! OOOH I GONNA GET ME SOME O� THAT! A LITTLE MIDNIGHT BLUE! WE LOVE YOU META KNIGHT! CALL ME!� Meta Knight jumped backwards at the mention of his name. �I think I�ll be leaving now.� Kirby nodded. �Fly while you can. She�s dangerous!� And during all the carol singing, cat calling and general mayhem, the battle of the Separatists vs. the Republic was momentarily forgotten. And to all readers and reviewers of this story, Grievous, Fletcher, Cor, Finn, Rio, Reggie, Kirby, Meta Knight, Shaak Ti and all the Kirbys bid you farewell and �� �HAPPY CHRISTMAS!�
