Advice
When ready this page will contain advice for our members such as good excuses not to go on picnics when it is too hot and how best to roll up a newspaper to swat an annoying insect. For now here are a few simple tips:
-
Hayfever is a great excuse not to go outside when the weather is too hot.
Chop some onions and you'll be well on the way to faking the symptoms.
-
Hayfever is also a great way out of going on holiday to hot countries.
-
If you are fortunate enough to have (mild) hayfever then you should make sure you can name at least five different forms of hayfever cure which you have tried and which have been completely ineffective. This will allow you to overcome the "just get some anti-histamines" response.
-
When swatting annoying insects it is important to roll up your newspaper in the most effective fashion. First, do not be tempted to roll the newspaper diagonally as the loss of rigidity is too high a price to pay for the extra reach achieved. Second, make sure that you leave any glossy magazines that may have come with the paper inside as they will add to the splat factor of the device. Finally, make sure you roll the newspaper as tightly as possible. It is worth spending some time on this. If you have read the paper then you might want to use cellotape to ensure that the tension in the paper is retained.
-
Never sit in the front passenger seat of a car if you can sit in the back. You are much less likely to be asked to navigate from the back seats!
-
If you know you will be travelling with someone and that they will be driving and that you are likely to be asked to navigate, it might be worth slipping into the conversation that you haven't got your glasses with you or that you have recently broken your glasses and haven't had time to get them replaced. This will either make them think twice about asking you to do the map reading or at least give you a good excuse for being rubbish at it.
-
Go by train.
Home
