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Yu-Gi-Blows
(not an anime porn)  Ah, Yu-Gi-Oh.... Just another fad that should have never happened. Like Pokémon, Digimon, or any other card trading fad, it shall one day pass...god willing. (Excepting, of course the original Magic, it is eternal) Someday, the overweight eight year olds will look at the overpriced slips of paper in their hands, and think to themselves: What the hell have I been doing with my life? And there shall be no answer. (for Jesus has forsaken their tainted souls) (But Cheya, why are you on a jihad against this one game?) Well, voice in my head, I'm glad you asked that question. The Cartoon. Big secret: The TV show isn't even true anime. Its an AMERICANIZED JAPANIMATION! (it sucks ASS too) Plot summary:  That's Yugi. He doesn't really look like a dude.  That's his grandpa. He's old. Yugi lives with that old dude, so his parents probably died at some point, or maybe his parents really didn't want him. At any rate, they live together, and one day, something highly improbable happens:  KRRRRAZCHOW! Grandfather, what the hell just happened? I have no fucking idea, Yugi! But for the love of god, don't change the channel! But, grandfather, the Happy Tree Friends... *AND THEN*  NOOOOOOO!  GRANDFATHER!!!!   I am the stereotypical bad dude, and I stole the old guy! What is this nonsense you spout in my direction? To win him back, you must best me in some sort of crappy duel! I have kidnapped your grandfather for NO discernible reason, and you cannot stop me! Bahahahahaha!  I am shocked and appalled by that statement! And so, Yugi devoted the remainder of his pitiful existence collecting cards and quarreling with other card collectors, much like the fans of this show! Until next time, kids,  Yattaro! Wow. Was that cool or what? Well, I'm pressed for space, so Reason #2: The Cards WHY THE CARDS SUCK:  1. Names are a bit wordy.  2. They really don't make sense  3. They're stupid  4. They're really Japanese. (But made in America)  5. See reasons 2, 3, and 4. So, you see, Yu-Gi-Oh both sucks and blows, making it something unnatural that must be eliminated.  6. They still don't make sense. (DOOM! DOOM I SAY!) It may seem that in this article and the Stupid Japanese Products article,I may appear condescending on Japan. I am completely not so. Japan kicks ass. As much, if not MORE than any other nation, thanks to things like:  POCKY!!!! |