spooky

Okay, I may be exaggerating a bit....

In honor of October, the month of spookyness,
I have decided to find ,watch, and write
about the spookiest mover ever made.

(But Cheya? What movie is it?)
Alhough probably none of you have ever seen it,
it is:

The Czechoslovakian Alice in Wonderland

(Why is it so scary, Cheya?)

Well, just to give you a baseline reading,
take a nice, long look at the White Rabbit.

Yes, he's sure a looker, isn't he?

(Wow, that's pretty spooky, Cheya)
Wanna know something spookier?
It's a real rabbit.
Those Czech bastards actually killed and
stuffed a little fuzzy bunny for the sake of this movie.

Why? Why was I slain for this horrible movie?
We'll never know, bunny. We'll never know. *sniff*

(That's pretty creepy, Cheya)
Creepier than the fact that I'm talking to myself, I suppose.

Now, on with the show!
This movie is pretty much about Alice, who goes crazy
and starts wandering through her house
all crazylike and stuff.
She comes to one room that is virtually empty except for a desk, and
that's when the fun starts. She opens the desk drawer and finds: Ink.
Now what do we do with ink, kids?
That's right!

Down it goes!
So, after she drinks ink and shrinks (HA! IT RHYMES)
she goes through a small door.
She meets the White Rabbit, who is building
a boat and asks for a new pair of scissors.
Why?
Cuz the director was STONED, that's why.

After that, she wanders around a bit in her personal hell,
until she meets the caterpillar, which
is secretly a sock with dentures and (real?) human eyes.

REALLY F*CKING SCARY!
Then, the movie loses all hope of cohesion.
He talks to Alice for a bit, then begins stitching himself into a mushroom.
Alice then walks into another room with a lot of potted plants.
She takes a bite of a wooden mushroom she found earlier, and the
plants grow and shrink.
(Wow, Cheya. This makes no sense.)
After, a long, drawn-out silence, I got bored and fast-forwarded.
Sorry, it just got more dull and less scary.

A few more scenes to chill your bones and
dampen your trousers:

The Cavalry Arrives
(made with real gerbil skulls)

The Hungry Frog
(eats real insects with a real cow's tounge)

Burrowing Socks.
(My favorite scene)

Anyway, this was quite possibly the scariest movie ever made.
Perhaps surreal is a better word.
I knew Lewis Carrol was a total pothead, but whoever
made this movie obviously found some much more powerful narcotics.

Cody is a biter! Har har, fatass! -Me

After seeing this movie, I had to watch dancing hamsters for an entire half-hour
to just stop the twitching. This movie was SCARY.

---
Sorry, but there was supposed to be a stupid
looking dancing hamster, but the image
apparently gave me a virus.
It took my Technology skill at level 12 to fix it.
I will find those hamsters someday....
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