Ever since
the Atkins craze hit full throttle, it’s been impossible to walk
through a grocery store without a barrage of “Low-Carb!” , “Now
Atkins Friendly!” or “Hollow Hope for the Obese!” On
advertising, on menus, even at fast food restaurants, Atkins is there.
The problem is, no matter how pervasive the influence of these fad
diets, they don’t work or make sense. It’s just another
alternative to getting off your all-American ass and exercising. Americans
are always in search for the utopian quick fix to get thin fast with
little or no effort. Atkins is just the next stage in trend diets that
has yet to die out. Or shut up.
The heart of the Atkins diet and its spawn is the removal of carbohydrates
from the grubbery of its users. But what are carbohydrates? Your average
street genius will be quick to chime in “things you’re
not supposed to eat.” Other than that, few can provide an answer.
Carbohydrates are simple sugars consisting of the elements carbon,
oxygen, and hydrogen. Carbohydrates can bond into long chains, called
starches, which are found in foods such as fruits, vegetables, and
above all grains. Every living thing on Earth uses these carbohydrates
as their primary energy source. It’s not too far of a leap, then,
to consider that taking carbohydrates out of your diet could result
in you taking root on the sofa.
One crucial part of the Atkins theory is that “[the body’s]
alternative backup fuel is stored fat...by eliminating carbohydrates
from your diet, you will run off of this fat, losing it.” This
may be true, but once the human body senses it is out of carbohydrates,
it switches into low gear to avoid using up the energy it has left.
Without glucose, the body develops an abundance of insulin, the hormone
that matabolizes glucose. This causes the body to go into starvation
mode, although it isn’t starving. The Atkins diet fools your
body into believing you’re starving. Thus, low-carb dieters become
vegetables. Wait, vegetable have carbs. Thus, low-carb dieters become
lethargic sides of beef.
With an absence of it’s primary energy, the body begins to break
down fat, it’s backup power. While this may sound like the goal
that Atkins dieters are shooting for, they’re actually shooting
themselves in the foot. This fat breakdown has a byproduct of ketone
acids. Sufficient buildup of ketone acids will result in ‘ketoacidosis’,
the same life-threatening condition that type 1 diabetics suffer from.
That’s right. The Atkins diet can KILL YOU.
Aside from death, the Atkins diet has more common nuisances as well.
These include “unusual breath and urine odor and constipation”,
according to the Atkins official web site.
A bizarre role reversal that the Dr. Atkins pulled was the change of
bacon from foe to friend. Meat is the main food group of Atkinians,
so their sustenance becomes high in saturated fats and cholesterol.
These were once the enemies of the healthy eater, but somehow they
are now allies. This is a mistake. Heart disease is already the #1
cause of death in Americans, and frankly the numbers aren’t getting
any smaller.
Let’s take a look at what’s causing America’s weight
problem as opposed to what’s failing to help solve it. While
Dr. Atkins fingers fettuccini, the conundrum is clearly with calories.
The size of portions in this country are unequaled around the globe.
The average American eats over 2,750 calories a day, far beyond the
reccomended 2,000 calorie diet. European countries, such as Italy and
France, consume far more breads and pastas and yet have a far lower
overweight percentage than here in the US. Also, Asian countries, such
as China and the Phillipenes, have high-carb diets that include a large
percentage of rice and pasta, but still remain far, far less obese
than in the US.
Proud to be an American. So, the bottom line
is: If you want to lose weight, don’t resort to herd-mentality
and go low-carb. Eat right and exercise. Lazy ass.
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