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Sunday 6/23/02 ~ Looking for the Light
at the End of the Tunnel
Yesterday was Tushar's graduation party. It went so well; it was such a success. Almost everyone that said they'd come, came. The food was good, the DJ was amazing, our dance rocked! It was a lot of fun. Tushar got soooo much money out of it! So not fair cuz whenever girl's have events their gifts include unbelievable amounts of body spray. I mean do girls really smell that bad?? And then you can't even exchange the body spray so it's like a waste of a gift. For boys, people just don't even try and give him money. Ugg. Down with boys. Ok no not really but whatever. Our dance was so awesome! We didn't even have to tell people to get into it. As soon as the music started, everyone was clapping and cheering. It really pumped us up while dancing. It was so much fun. Overall a very successful evening especially since certain people didn't come talk to me and I didn't talk to them either and they left early too which was good. I can't wait to see the video and the pictures from the party! I've been missing Amit a lot these past couple of days. We really haven't had much time to talk and he doesn't have email or internet at work and he obviously can't call me from work because it's long distance. Lately he's been coming back really late from work and he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me while driving since the roads are still unfamiliar. When he gets home he's usually very tired and needs to eat dinner. So we talk for about 10-15 minutes and then he has to go. I'm starting to get frustrated but I don't know what more to do. I try calling him as much as possible but it doesn't help cuz he's usually busy doing something else. And when I do reach him for some reason or another I can't talk to him for too long at all. I was hoping that maybe I'd get to see him next weekend since he kept saying before he left that he'd come back for my birthday but at the looks of how busy he is with work and otherwise I don't think that's going to happen. To be quite honest, I don't know if I'll even talk ot him on my birthday. I guess I just want to feel like I'm still a part of his life. It seems like when he left for Irvine, everything from up here was left behind and he started a whole new life. I mean I want him to enjoy himself down there and everything and I know he is but I'm just really worried about us. I don't think we're going to make it if we just rely on 10 minute conversations every night. And sometimes I think he calls because he feels he "should". I'm pretty sure that's just me thinking that but maybe it's cuz he's so tired when he calls, he doesn't seem as enthusiastic as he usually does. I just really miss all that. Maybe when my school starts I'll keep busy and I won't notice it as much. But I don't want it to happen that we get so used to not talking that our relationship slowly falls apart. I wish I could make him see that we need to do something more. I don't know. I feel selfish but at the same time I think I need to bring this up before it becomes a real problem. :o/ 12:45 pm ~ sad
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