Thursday 6/6/02 ~ Losing Control
I'm in that stage where if I read, watch, talk about the wrong thing, it's going to push me over and I'm going to become very upset. I don't know why it's upsetting me so much. I know it's what he really wants to do. I have to be supportive. And it's not like he's never coming back again. But three months? I don't like it that it's affecting so much so soon. I guess it's a good sign that I care and what not. But he's not even gone yet and I'm this unstable? Is this normal? Or am I just being too possessive or clingy? A part of me just wants him to leave so the anxiety of him leaving will be over and I'll have three months to put myself in a place that doesn't have to change until he comes back. How much more selfish can I be? I'm not even thinking how hard it will be for him... So appropriate for today :