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Thursday 6/6/02 ~
Disconnected
Well our phones are dead again. This happens more often as it does in Bombay! It's an AT&T problem so our internet is down too. Weird how not having the internet or the phone makes me feel so out of touch. I mean I know I have my cell phone but it's different. Oh wells... In other news, Amit got the job! I am genuinely and truly happy for him. I think he's more upset than I am about it. In fact that's probably true because I'm not sad about him leaving at all. At least not yet. I don't think it's hit me really. But then again I think it's a good thing. I've been so worried for the past few days about so many things that if my mind can keep this away from me for just a bit longer, I might be able to handle it in a few days. He's moving this weekend down to Irvine. So I guess that means he can't come to my brother's party and watch our dance. Oh wells. There is always video. And it's not like we have no experience having our relationship just on the phone cuz that's basically how it was last school year. I think we'll be ok as long as I don't keep thinking about it. I need to keep myself busy which is actually going to be the hardest part this summer. It occurred to me yestrday driving home on Dumbarton Bridge that I will have really nothing to do this summer. I'm only taking two classes at Ohlone one of which is web based. The other class is a public speaking class which probably won't have much reading. Aside from that, everyone I know is either taking summer school up in Berkeley or wherever they go to college or working full time. I think the only person I know who's free is Stacey but how much can I hang out with her? She'll get sick of me in two days! Hehe. I thought briefly about trying to find a job - maybe as a receptionist at a doctor's office or something. But I'm not sure my back can handle school and work. And I would need something part time because of my classes. So I don't know. So many things to think about. I just have to make sure I don't give myself time to just sit and think because that's when things go downhill. I'll figure something out. Right now I'm focusing on thinking of the present and nothing more just so I can remain calm and sane. 2:03 pm
~ free of feeling
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