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| Some stuff about... | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Church of FOK | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������������������� Who? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| While the hierarchy of the Church of FOK are always seeking new humorists to join the Church, we are highly discriminatory in regard to who we will allow to join up.� While boy scouts exclude girls, Greeny groups exclude loggers, and the Klan exclude non-white non-christians (or the "heathen niggers" as they sometimes say) we exclude only serious people.� Which is OK, because serious people probably won't want to join. �The kinds of people we want in our organization are those with a sense of humour from modern absurdism* to the more traditional payout-ers (which is different to teasing or bullying, which we don't approve of, except in extremely funny cases.)� Note; If you're not funny, we don't want you.� We will tolerate you, but view you as a lesser species.� | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| *See section "Modern Absurdism" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������������������� Where? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� The Church of FOK does not currently have an official Headquarters, or quarters of any other body part.� We are currently an organization running largely through cyber-space (the internet) and through people and the tireless efforts of our volunteers who work long hours for the promise of a small reward -�� suckers!� Note; to contact the Church of FOK email [email protected] or visit the website at www.geocities.com/churchoffok don't bother if you're already on the website reading this.� That would be really, really, really stupid. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Why? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Church of FOK aims to spread the good humour about everything.� If you're wondering what ''everything'' includes, you?re probably very stupid* and we don't want you.� Note; I'm putting one of these at the bottom of each section. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� *See section "Irish persons" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������������������� The Points System | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� The points system is a reward program in which everyone's a winner.� Points can be handed out by most people (non-funny people can not hand out points) to anyone for anything, anywhere and any time.� This is fairly general, but that's the idea.� It is a means of incentive and reward, for example, someone could be wearing something funny, and in return someone says"I give you ten points for that", or someone could say "I'll give you ten points if you jump in the pool wearing all your clothes", using the system as incentive.� The usual number of points awarded is ten, however for something particularly small, fewer points can be awarded just as for something larger, more points can be awarded.� For example, 50 points were once awarded to someone who kept the same piece of lettuce in their mouth for 4 � hours straight.� The points were offered as incentive, the individual accepted the offer, and came through, winning the 50 points.� The great thing about the points system is it doesn't cost anything to give someone points, so everyone is happy.� However, overuse of the points system can lead to the system becoming depleted and the points value depreciating.� Note; persons caught handing out points without reason or using the system for personal gain will be banned from using the points system unless found funny. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������������������� PJ's | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| We also approve highly of PJ's (PJ stands for Personal Joke, but we concede that pyjamas are also OK while not specifically reaching high approval but more a grudging lack of reason to disapprove of them.� Understand?� We don't either.� Back to the topic.)� Personal Jokes we find particularly funny when other parties present are either confused or bemused by the seemingly inappropriate and unexpected laughter from those who are in on the PJ.� PJ's are an excellent type of humour because two or more people can be laughing heartily at something that would otherwise be totally serious, bringing into the world a bit of humour that may not have been found in that particular situation otherwise.� Note; a personal joke is only a personal joke if one or more people present do not get it.� If everyone there gets it, then it's just an ordinary joke, which is OK in its own special way. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ice cream | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� The Church of FOK does not tolerate people screaming for ice cream.� I don't scream, you don't scream, and we certainly do not all scream for ice cream under any circumstances.� If we want ice cream, we will just get some or ask for it without making a fuss.� OK?� Note; the exception to every rule, including the ice cream rule, is of course when it's funny. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������������������� Political Incorrectness | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jokes that are politically incorrect or "politically challenged" are fine by us as long as they are meant only as a joke and in no way reflect the attitude of the teller.� The only exception is if the joke is exceptionally funny and others laugh, apprecitiating the humour but not taking on board the negative attitudes.�� Politically challenged jokes falling into the acceptable category are of course funniest when the target of the incorrectness is listening (eg. Telling sexist jokes to a group of women.)� Also particularly funny is spontaneous political incorrectness, for example coming across a group of women and asking politely why they're out of the kitchen.� Or not politely.� Note; while the Church of FOK supports politically incorrect humour, we take no responsibility for consequences and/or repercussions of telling these kind of jokes around people who may take offence, such as chicks, niggers or people with stupid religions. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Modern Absurdism | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| A follow through from the glory days of Monty Python, The Goons and other mainly British comedy from the mid 20th Century, Modern absurdism is reflected in such shows as "The Micallif Pogram", in the cartoons of Gary Larson, to a lesser extent on "The Simpsons" and much of today's stand up comedy.� As opposed to situation comedy and character humour, absurdism is all about people, words, things being totally in the wrong context, having little or no relevance or making no sense, such as a sketch about cavemen discussing mod-cons.� An excellent example of the original Monty absurdism is the knight in full armour that frequently wandered into other sketches and belted the characters with a rubber chicken.� In many ways, the rubber chicken has become a symbol of absurd comedy, just as face-pie denotes slapstick humour.� Note; the only difference between absurdism and modern absurdism is the word "modern". | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Endangered Alaskan Salmon | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Church of FOK does not care about the endangered Alaskan Salmon.� It is not one of our goals to save it, nor is it ever likely to be our goal to save any species unless it's funny to do so.� Note; while the Church of FOK does not rally behind causes, we will lend our support to a cause if asked to and it's funny to do so.� It is not our aim to save the endangered Alaskan Salmon, only to spread humour through the world.� If you picked up the reference to "The Simpsons", you get two points*. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| *See section "Points System" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� Irish Persons | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Church of FOK concedes that some Irish persons are clever; a few maybe even gifted, but maintains along with the majority of the world that most Irish are stupid.� We base this assertion on the sheer number of Irish jokes that must have started somewhere, right?� If you're Irish and don't like what we are saying, good, at least we're offending someone.� Come join up, we think the Irish are great value to laugh at.� Note; while we think Irish are stupid, we also think all Scots wear kilts and play the bagpipes and if you're English you're either a cockney or a snob.� | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� How can the Church of FOK help me? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| In any case where a member of the Church of FOK needs clarification on an issue such as whether or not something is funny or not, the Church of FOK is always available for consultation.� Simply email us with your request or query, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.� Also, if members should for any reason need backing from the Church of FOK in the form of moral support or publicity, make us laugh and we will oblige happily.� We will always do everything we can for our loyal and funny members.� Note; if we don't think you're funny, we will not feel obliged to offer assistance in any form.� The excuse "sorry this isn't funny, I'm not in a good mood at the mo" might hold, but then it might not.� I've been no help at all there. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� How can I help the Church of FOK? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The only problem currently facing the Church of FOK is a lack of numbers.� The best thing you can do for us at the moment is sign up, tell your funny friends to sign up, send us a funny email or sign our guest book with some funny words, and spread the good humour.� Note; feedback is always good.� Except when it's bad.� There's no arguing with that, I suppose. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ����������� The Future... | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| As you all know, in about 10 years time we will all be wearing identical silver space suits with a V-stripe and exploring other planets.� The Church of FOK hopes that by that time, we will be a vast and widely known religion capable of spreading our unique earthling humour to other planets.� We realise that it is an enormous task to spread laughter not only around the world but also into other worlds, but hey, le's give it a shot.The monks did OK spreading the word of "god" to the heathens in the past, now it's our turn to convert the world to our way of life.� Humorism is the way of the future.� Note; we sincerely hope whatever alien civilizations we find have some sort of sense of humour.� We'll need something to start from, otherwise it will be an enormous uphill battle. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Coming soon... | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Note; this section will soon contain something. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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