Alright, so I don't know how many of you got to read this, but it's humor in itself. It's a letter "*NSYNC wrote" to us (the fans) to "keep us safe." My comments are in parentheses and italics.

SPECIAL WARNING (sounds like this should be accompanied by the abc news theme) TO OUR FANS AND THEIR PARENTS
FROM JOEY, J.C., LANCE, CHRIS AND JUSTIN (well, at least Justin's not first)
AUGUST 6, 2001

Dear fans,

We have learned that recently a few people (not-yet apprehended) (so the police are after these *NSYNC fakers?) have been trying to meet *NSYNC fans by posing on the internet as one of the five of us *NSYNC guys (right, I'm sure they refer themselves like that..Hi, I'm Justin, one of the *NSYNC guys...) or as an *NSYNC insider.

We don't know who these imposters are (well, now we know Joey didn't write this). We worry (yes, I'm sure this keeps them up at night) that their web chat room messages are part of a plan to lure our fans to show up alone in isolated places where our fans are told they will meet us or will meet someone who will take them to us. We hate to think what might happen to one of you if you fall for these fakers (then again, maybe Joey did write this).

So listen up (aiight). If anyone tries to meet you by promising they can get you to meet one of us because they claim to work for us or be one of our close friends or family, don't believe them (there goes "Lance", trying to impress us with those long sentences). Ignore them. Be safe, not sorry.

Be careful. We love the meetings we schedule with hundreds of fans every day on our tours (MUST have been written by the good ol' folks in PR). But the fans we meet with are always gathered in groups during regular hours in safe places and are escorted by groups of our staff. No exceptions. That way we're safe. You're safe.

Beware. None of us guys, and no one who works for us, ever sells *NSYNC concert tickets. That is all handled through Ticketmaster and SFX. As for passes to our 'meet and greets', sound check, or on-stage parties, these are never for sale; instead they are distributed by our sponsors for promotional purposes.

Be real. None of us -- Joey, J.C., Lance, Chris or Justin (right, thanks for clearing that up) -- ever posts personal emails on chat rooms trying to meet people (hello! Like we (the *NSYNC guys) need help meeting people). Anyone who claims to be one of us on the Web is, at best, dreaming (ego much, ahh, perhaps Justin did write this). At worst, they are perverts trying to get something precious (no, no, Joey definitely did NOT write this) from you by promising something from us. Don't fall for it.

Remember, without you, *NSYNC has nothing to celebrate. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts (and/or wallets). Stay safe and always stay *NSYNC! (oh geez, if I ever heard *NSYNC say that, I'd have to shoot myself in the face, repeatedly)

Well, kids I hope we can all infer that *NSYNC definitely did NOT write this. There are no signs of the word "man" so JC didn't write it. Chris, try as he might, could never sit down long enough to write something so stupid. Joey didn't write it because he probably doesn't agree with the message. Justin couldn't have done it because he just doesn't care much about anything that's not a camera and/or a mirror. And Lance. Well, Lance, being the business pro he is, didn't see a way to get money out of this and declined to play any real part in it. The lesson we should all take from this little gem is apparently to: be safe, be real, be careful and beware.