DRUNK AND ARMED
(The Bumper Sticker)
In 1995, Elise G., a dysfunctional debutant friend of mine, had a hilarious idea for a bumper sticker. Since the Chumpfish had not been devised yet, I paid for about 400 DRUNK AND ARMED bumper stickers. Several DIY prints were done several years later. It has been well hated. It is defaced and removed more that any other I’ve ever noticed. It has been used to deface police cars by little punk rocker girls. Only record stores would carry it. I had to tell them it was a band. (It someday would be.) However, a lot of people find it hilarious. I’ve met a few interesting people selling these gems. They seems to be most popular with interstate truck drivers, snowboarders, hicks, punk rockers and people who lived in Fremont (long gone I’m sure).
The following are a few quotes and experiences unloading these stickers:
“Drunk and Armed? Drunk and Armed with what?” asked a shop keep.
“With Wit!” I replied.
I sold the stickers at the Off Ramp and got in several fights as a result. People cheered as I pounded them. (Always fight drunks in group. They trip over each other and you can beat them with impunity.)
At a Lefty Book Coop, the kid behind the counter bought two then asked the manager if I could put them on consignment. The wire-rim wearing baby boom twerp declined. He said, “I wouldn’t want to give anyone any ideas.” What a peculiar thing to say...
Enclosing a bumper sticker, I wrote drunken letters to various people I do not know.
-SRL
June, 2005
Last Updated: June 8, 2005