A year goes by so fast, doesn't it? I'm already here reviewing the 2002 VMAs, and really it felt like last year's barely just passed.

I'll just go ahead and say it straight up: For the most part, I didn't like this show, at all. I just hate to be one of those people who go "Gee the VMAs just get worse and worse by the year! VMAs suck! MTV sucks! Carbon dioxide sucks! Suck suck suck!" etc etc., but really that's basically how I feel. Really. I mean, that darn carbon dioxide...hate it.

This year, the show was basically a huge bunch of rock bands that I don't even know getting awards for videos that I didn't even know existed. Being at college and in China for the past year I realize I've been lagging in my phenomenal expertise coughcoughcough of popular music but still...not a lot for me to go on. There were some great performances but besides Justin nothing particularly electrified me like last year or the year before.

*NSYNC won no awards...which I'm disappointed but not particularly surprised about. Two were lost to No Doubt's Hey Baby, which MTV literally played 17 times an hour, and the third was lost to Eminem towards whom MTV kisses arse almost on an addictive basis(his video was actually pretty good though).

Now, several things I wanna mention about the awards really quickly:

*The filming technique:
Basically I like it, I hope they use it more. It gave the show a cool, rock concert vibe as opposed to the monotone "Let's stick a camera over yonder and see what it captures" feel of last year. I know some people feel it takes away from the "live" feel of the show but frankly I'm on the west coast so that the show is 3 hours later anyway lol.
One thing that I didn't like about the technique...well lemme explain how it's done in the first place. Basically, it isn't live. They catch it the cameras and convert it to film...so even if you're on the east coast, there was a sixty second delay. As I said I could care less about that lol seeing as how mine isn't live in the first place, but it causes LOADS of sound editing problems. If you saw the original broadcast(the one that aired 8/29/02), did you notice when Jimmy was talking and his words were completely out of synch, no pun intended? Did you notice when it happened to other presenters and during performances such as Pink, Shakira, even Justin's? Yeah, I thought you did. That was caused by the delay, and even though they've fixed it for the rebroadcasts it was more than enough to cause me a few brainfarts watching the original show.
Here's an article that goes into more detail about the technique if you wanna read it.

*Jimmy Fallon:
Rocks hardcore. Wayans who? Jamie Foxxwhat? I'm so disappointed that this show which is one of the more sucky ones in recent history had to, instead, have such a hilarious host. I swear, even his Lance bit was funny.
"Hey Nelly, is it getting cold over therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre?"
Good God he was great. So f'ing hilarious;). If they're smart, they'll get him to host it again next year when the rest of the festivities don't bite as much. Props to him and the Enrique mole.
Favorite joke of the night: Had to be the one about Fat Joe eating the Olsen twins, even though the American Idol thing was also...lol, I don't know how he did it...

*The dressing(or lack thereof)and commentary on the folks there:
Lol Britney's hat brought back some kinky late night HBO memories(Don't ask...just...don't...), but other than that she looked very...I dunno if bouncy is the right word lol, but it'll have to do;). She got some huge legs.

I thought it was hilarious how Pink had to lean over to John Norris' ear to tell him that the tattoos weren't real. I love Pink, despite her being...well, her.

Olsen Twins scare moi.

I've liked Christina Milian for a while now(despite that "AM to PM" song)and she looked great as always.

I was really hopin' to see Alicia Keys again! Or Mandy Moore. But neither showed. Oh well, I guess they was busy or gots more important things to do than sit through some twenty-odd hours of absolutely nothing.
Gawd I worship this smiley.

Shakirrrrrrrrrrra's pre-performance outfit kinda really blinded me, but her performance outfit ruled the universe, despite it being pretty much as "Shakira" as you can get lol. That just added to its ultimate spice;)! More on this later.

Olsen Twins scare moi.

Jennifer Lopez was definitely one of the most beautiful ladies there. We've all come to recognize her sexy cleavage, but that doesn't make it any less welcome;).

I'll just say it right now...I know that pop(bubblegum pop anyway)is in its hibernation stage at the moment, and yeah I guess I would much rather the music industry moves towards a more rock-oriented sound than a hip-hop one, but still...I don't like this invasion of all these rocker/goth/alternative chicks who make fish-eyes and gyrate their necks oddly in their videos. I dunno, call me materialistic. I'm certainly not opposed to rock, after all the first band I ever really liked was completely alternative rock. But to me, having these tens of thousands of brunettes with bad slouches is just as bad as having a billion boybands who suck(and I'm not saying they do)or a million blonde chicks who inhale helium on a daily basis(and I'm certainly not saying that they do...though I must wonder sometimes).
That said, after tonight I really loved Michelle Branch. She was horribly pretty and genuine and perky and appreciative and had a great attitude. I mean, I saw her on MTV news after the show and the girl was like hyperventilating because she forgot to thank her parents and fans.
Which opened my eyes a bit. I mean, just because she doesn't have six hundred dancers orgasming in unison during her songs or huge knockout legs which should be considered a public hazard, it doesn't mean she ain't cool. Which she is.

Olsen Twins scare moi.

Well gee, if Christina didn't look absolutely nasty and grody and mutated tonight.
I know, I know...as Melissa from the Real World would say, I've just gone and been sssippping on some sizzzurp called Hater-ade. I'm sorry to her fans who might read this but awwwwwwwww maaaaaaaaaaaaaan. And you know...I've been keeping up with Christina news and yes, I know girl done gone and got attitude transplant and is rediscovering herself and experimenting and all that junk, and what I'm saying has nothing to do with that. It ain't about hating on her. It's about the pure and simple fact that she looked NAS-TAY.
And I know that "If you got it, flaunt it!" appears to be the rallying cry of which both male-and-femaledom has accepted recently...Remember, I used to like the girl. I used to find her SO VERY sexy, and at certain times I still do. But I'm looking at her now and I see fake grossly tanned skin, moppy fake dyed greyish hair/strings, way too much makeup(well, this part hasn't changed very much I suppose lol), floppy boobs pulled to the sides, drawn-in fake eyebrows, the list/mutation goes on and on.
A year ago I read an MTV interview with Debbie Gibson(who was touring with *NSYNC at the time), and it said a lil' something about Britney and Christina that I didn't pay much attention to but now I really agree with:
While Gibson said she's awed by the sexual energy Britney exudes, she doesn't target Spears as an especially bad influence on today's electric youth.
"I think she knows to a degree that she's playing a role," Gibson said. "It seems as though she can distinguish between what she does onstage and what she does in her life. She puts on her face and her clothes and her hair extensions, turns up the energy and goes for it, which I enjoy. I don't get the feeling she takes that side of herself too seriously. She always has a little tongue-in-cheek glint in her eye when she performs."
Christina Aguilera, however, is another story. "I get the idea that Christina lives and breathes the sexual image, which frightens me," Gibson said. "I look at her and go, 'Ooh, she's gotten a little ahead of herself.'"
We all know Christina is perfectly capable of looking beautiful, so I'm not even gonna go there. Then comes the little portion of my rant where I wonder why she would consciously want to make herself look like this, and if she actually thinks this looks good, but that goes more into the lines of commentary on her life away from the camera which I'm not qualified to do. So "blah" to her sense of imagery tonight.

Which brings me to her attitude tonight, to which I also say "blah." We all know that Christina's always the one complaining about people dissing her for what she says is no reason, so why is it that she had to go and make that catty "Interesting..." when Eminem won his award? Why is she the one dragging up old garbage from more than two years ago? Eminem is obviously not model citizen or anyone I should feel the need to defend, but Christina is always playing innocent until she gets a chance to sling some barbs of her own. It was funny two years ago when she was up there with Britney and she made that prissy "Anyway..." but now it's just a big BLAH. Her fans will no doubt tell me that she's just being real and says what she thinks, but there's quite a bit of difference between being real and being a snark.

Anyway...

Speaking of which, I practically enjoyed Eminem tonight...but not quite. . He seemed genuinely sincere and grateful for the awards and his performance wasn't too bad despite his backup track being -- sorry in advance for the forthcoming visual -- louder than a horny elephant. But as usual he has to pull that whole fake controversy string and threatened to, um...beat up a sock puppet and a guy with glasses. Ah yes. Marshall, ever the figure of tenacity.</sarcasm>

Something I love about great artists...*NSYNC and otherwise...is that they're always able to set these tones and styles with their performances. I love how Shakky was putting it all out with the tribal drum dance and beat...and then all of a sudden busting into hard rock guitars, milking both worlds for all their worth. I love that. And the stage dive...dang. Okay, so the way she sings sounds like Sean Connery making up lyrics on the spot*, but so what;)? She looks and sounds awesome.

And I love that Shakira's stayed true to her style and image despite all the obvious efforts to market her off as a Latin Britney. I mean there's absolutely nothing wrong with that image but you know...it's not her and she knows it, doesn't try to hide it. Just because the shoe doesn't fit doesn't mean you have to go around chopping off your toes, you know what I mean? Instead, go bareboot.

*comparisons courtesy of Sparklehugs and my brother.



*Pink - "Just Like A Pill"
Whoa there, cowgirl.

Lol I do like this performance and I do love this song, but Pink's new thing is gonna take me some getting used to. I knew for a long, long time that she was more rock than pop, but I guess the intensity of this performance throws me off a bit. Props to her though, for giving a straightforward, hearty performance, whether it's my kind of thing or not. Go on wit yo bad self.



*Diddlypuff - Um...not quite sure what he sang exactly
Okay to get it out of the way...

I loved the Usher appearance. He scares me sometimes but dang, that man can get his groove on.

I loved the Busta appearance. He scares me as well, but hey it's all good.

Loved the Pharrell appearance. He doesn't really scare me as much as he reminds me of people I went to school with. Go figure.

Loved the production of it all. Those people jump, jumpin'...gotta love it. Makes me want one of those pogo leg thingies.

But I was so digusted at the fact that the whole thing was practically and obviously lipsynched. He didn't even try to hide it. And what's the thing we kept hearing about this from the MTV people? "Wow, Diddy was so good! He rocked up there! Wow! Wow! And also, as a bonus, wow!" Man. I highly dislike the fact that people will get on *NSYNC and Justin and everyone else's case about using a single backing track when a song has like 658776594 parts going at once, yet Diddy gets to fake the entire thing because, well, he's Diddy.



*Hives and Vines: No.

Fast-forward.



*Ja Rule, Ashanti, and Nas
Okay, on the grand scale I did like this performance. I like the little production of the lampposts and bench and retro feeling of it all. I used to think Ashanti's voice was so squeaky and out-of-the-ordinary, if you get what I mean, but nowadays it's growing on me.

That said, what in the world was the point of sticking Nas in there?? It's like they had one segment where it was this bouncy, flowy tone, then it completely took a 180 with a completely different artist, and then at the end of that they get Ashanti and Ja back on to um...I don't know what they did, I guess the best way to describe it was that they just stood there posing, shouting "MUUHDAAAAAAAH!" over and over again. Um, have a point. Please? As a gimmick to make sure everyone in the universe knows exactly who they are and what label they're on, this worked. As a hyped performance on live TV, this didn't work.



*Eminem: I think I already mentioned this...like I said, liked the production, but not much else.



*Justin Timberlake - "Like I Love You"
Now class, who can count for me the number of Newton's Laws of Physics that Curlboy was b**chslapping tonight?

Hot d**n.

I'm going to be absolutely honest and say that this performance doesn't do as much for me as, say, the last two *NSYNC performances that we've had. But so what? I didn't expect it to. I expected to enjoy Justin tonight, not *NSYNC, and wasn't disappointed.

That said, hot d**n.

Obviously by now, I should know what exactly Justin is capable of vocally and physically, but who can prepare for this? Did y'all see those moves? That grace? That fluidness? And the awesome vibe up there which I totally dug?

Like I said, good artists that I like are always capable of creating a certain vibe and styles to their shows, and Justin totally pulled that off tonight. Great moves and great performance. My favorite of the night, obviously.

Now some people...and I'm not gonna say who, but you obviously know who you are...some people are hell-bent on some fixation that Justin was lipsynching tonight, and I swear my honest response to those people is to get their ears checked. Children, there was a backup track which played the chorus. Which is obvious and was obviously going to be done. There are like three melodies going at once in that song, and contrary to popular belief there really is only one Justin. He didn't even try to look like he was singing the backup track parts, which he didn't. He sang the verses, voiced over the chorus, and did his ad-libs. Some parts sounded distinctly mechanical but that was when Justin was singing over the recorded version of himself, which gives off a layered sound.

(My favorite excuse that I've heard for why Justin couldn't have been singing live was because he would've had to do falsetto, and supposedly(as the person said)you can't do falsetto while dancing hard. L. M. A. O. I feel bad for knocking on this lol because the person who I'm quoting was actually trying to defend Justin but honestly, one of the things I hate most is when people act like they know a lot about something when they really don't. First of all, if you watch the performance Justin wasn't even dancing very hard when he did his falsetto parts, he just stopped and stood there. Secondly, if it was true that you can't do falsetto with heavy dancing, then what the heck does Chris do all the time? Mime?? Almost all of his parts are falsetto!!)

Another thing people mention are the MJ similarities, and since I wasn't into MJ when he was huge I can't speak one way or another about it. The song, obviously, is MJ-influenced, and yes even I can hear that. But I'll say this: I saw Justin up there tonight, not MJ. Justin was singing his song, not MJ's. I saw a Justin performance, not an MJ performance. And that's all I have to say about that.

So basically I'm hugely proud of Justin for his first performance on his own. And by the looks of it lol, so were the other guys.

Which brings me to a slight topic change for me to talk about how cool and nice the vibe of *NSYNC was tonight. Everyone was real pleasant and was there to have fun, and seemed genuinely proud of Justin.

Now, people will mention that JC looked out-of-it and less than happy, but again I will say honestly that I did not notice that the few times I watched this segment. Honestly. I saw JC walk out the wrong direction(who can tell direction with that hat he's got on?? lol)and then smile when Chris gave Justin props. Other than that I saw regular JC, no more and no less than I expected. Besides...anything more than that, and I'd be giving in to the very paranoia and hostility speculations that I so often speak out against.

So to end, I say props to Justin and props to *NSYNC.



*Guns 'N Roses
I'm not a big enough GNR fan or a big enough heavy metal fan to give an honest review of this performance, to be frank. I think it looked cool and had a great energy, but beyond that it all sounded the same scratchy screamy rocky metally thingie to me. Now...I heard people say that it wasn't as good as it should be and Axl is just doing the wrong things, but I wouldn't know lol.

Not much else to say, really. I hope next year's is better;). They need better presenters and better acts to do their thing. BBMak should perform. Yes. Yup. Okay.

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