"Dawg"
Universal Studios, Florida...cue tunes of "Some Dreams."
Christopher Kirkpatrick...a simple man. A common man. Yet a man like no other.
Chris: You know, I am a simple and common man, but a man like no other.
Chris works at Universal Studios. He has an honorable occupation, to be sure. Yet somehow there is always something missing. Not quite satisfying. Something that is not quite right in his life.
Chris: I have an honorable and good occupation at Universal Studios, but I always felt that there was something missing.
Perhaps it is as if destiny is calling out to him, taking him beneath the care and guidance of the stars towards his true path. A path that will soon be discovered.
Chris: I feel that I am being drawn slowly but inevitably towards my true path.
A path that will bring him and others onto an adventure of true discovery and brilliance.
Chris: This path will take me...Oh, will you shut up!?
Sorry.
*********************************************************
"Have they been uncovered yet...?"
"No, my master, we are still searching for the power sources."
"The puny shines of incompetent stars...are not enough to feed me..."
"I promise you, my liege, we will soon obtain strong enough crystals to awaken your true form. My scouts are searching for them as we speak."
"Soon I will obtain the shines of true stars...and none shall be able to oppose me..."
**********************************************************
Being in a hurry to rehearsal, Chris was surprised to see a large crowd of people gathered, talking loudly. That in itself wasn't too strange, until he noticed the police and the photographers.
Chris: What's going on?
"Yo, High Tone!" Turning around, Chris recognized the familiar and friendly face.
Chris: Hey wolfman, what's all the commotion about, you didn't accidentally eat any tourists, did you?
Joey: Huh?
It was Joey Fatone. Joey Fatone, another employee of Universal Studios and Chris' good friend. A kind and likeable individual, his face betraying unlimited energy and optimism, shall also play an important role in this upcoming saga. A saga that shall determine the value of...
Joey: Dude, who are you!? If we ignore you will you go away?
No.
Chris: ...Anyway, Joey, what just happened here? Why are the police here, for God's sakes? Don't tell me Woody Woodpecker scared another old lady to death.
Joey: I don't think so. Woody's on vacation right now. Yogi Bear is standing in for him.
Chris: That could easily achieve the same effect.
Joey: Oh. Right. But the word going around is that one of the dancers for that upcoming wild west show was attacked by some maniac.
Chris: Seriously. A maniac?
Joey: Well...the actual term I heard used was "fruity psycho dressed up as a big clown," but yeah, maniac's about right.
Chris: Ooh. So what's going on now? What happened to that dancer?
Joey: They're really keeping it hush-hush, but I think she's still alive. Which is great, she's like one of the best ones I've...er...the studio's had.
Chris: ...
Joey: ...
Chris: ...Joey, I have a gut feeling that one day, you are going to make it big. I promise you, you will. But before that day comes, you're gonna have to work on not saying things that will make you look stupid in interviews.
Joey: Hey, shut up. Why're you always so mean to me?
Chris: Relax, we all love the Joester. Oh, crap, I forgot I was late. I'm gonna have to kick your @$$ some other time.
Joey: You'd never kick my @$$, dude, your leg would never get high enough.
Chris: Hey! No grandaddy jokes.
Joey: Actually I was referring to your height:).
**********************************************************
At the crime scene
Chief of Police: Damnit, lieutenant, this is the third time this week!
Lieutenant: Yes, sir, we realize this...for some reason, the culprit always seems to evade us...
C of P: I don't want your excuses. Look at this girl! Completely in a coma. Explain to me how it is possible that there is a maniac running around putting people in comas and you don't know anything about him? I mean how the he<< can he even do this!?
Lieutenant: We are doing the best we can...both with the analyses of the bloodprints and the victims themselves...it's almost like their...like their souls are missing...or something.
C of P: For Chrissakes, don't get all new-age on me. Jesus, what a tragedy. She could've been a great star, too.
**********************************************************
Later...
After a long day, Chris is ready to call it a night.
Chris: What a long day. I'm ready to call it a night.
Just as he was walking towards the park's exit, something told him that there was someone there. Every one of his senses warned him that he was being watched.
Chris: ...Hello?
Chris, you idiot! Don't ever say "hello?"! Don't you know the rules!? You might as well go outside to investigate a strange noise or something! Thank God you're still a virgin!
Chris: Hey, no commentary!
Right...
He looked aroun, but there was no one. Suddenly he noticed a pair of eyes looking at him. They belonged...to a small animal. A pug. Staring at him through the darkness.
Chris: Aw...how cute. What a cuuuu wittle doggie woggy. Sho cue. Sho cue. Yesh you aaaaare.
Dog: ...There is not much time.
Chris: O_O
Dog: The enemy has already begun to move.
Chris: O_O!?
Dog: Stealing the star crystals straight from human hearts...honestly, I did not believe that they would go this far, let alone the possibility of them having thus resources and power. It was my own mistake for underestimating them.
Chris: O_O!?!?
Dog: But now it is time for the awakening. You are special Chris. In every generation, there is a Slayer. One girl in all the world, to find the vampires where they gather and to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers. Chris, you are the Slayer.
Chris: WHAT O_O!?!?!?
Dog: Oh damnit, wrong speech.
Chris: AAAAAAAAHHHHH~!!! THERE IS A TALKING DOG! WHY IS THERE A TALKING DOG! A DOG IS TALKING, WHY!?
Dog: Oh, be still. Haven't you ever seen Men in Black? Now pipe down or I will be forced to bite you in the nuts, an experience that could very likely render me insane. And I'm not "talking dog," my name is Busta.
Chris: Alright, alright, I'm cool. Okay, so there's a talking dog. No surprise, I see talking people all the time. No problem. Um...Busta?
Busta: That's right.
Chris: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! A DOG IS TAL...no, I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cool! So, um...why are you a dog and talking?
Busta: As I was saying, you have an important mission Chris. Your shine, your star crystal lights brighter than most people's...granted, that doesn't exactly make you better than them, but it does give you the power. The power to defend them against the enemy.
Chris: ...So, how do you talk? Was it some genetic thing that happened to your doggie vocals or something?
Busta: IamadogandItalksowhatthat'snotimportant!!! Ahem...
Suddenly, off in the distance, a dischordant scream is heard.
Busta: Crap, they're at it again, it's too soon!
Chris: What, who's at it again? I could swear that sounded exactly like Joey when we get him drunk enough. Or it could've been some kid screaming in pain.
Busta: Most likely the latter! C'mon, we have to hurry!
**********************************************************
Origin of the screaming
When Chris got to the scene, he was dumbfounded by what he saw. A man, dressed in a dark suit, at least seven feet tall, was holding a boy by the throat. It didn't look like he was choking or using any force at all, but the boy was obviously in pain. From just one glance, Chris could tell that there was something wrong with the man...he was dangerous. And evil.
Busta: They're not even picking their targets anymore, just going after anything with potential for a bright star crystal!
Chris: What! What is he doing!?
Busta: That "scout" is taking the boy's star crystal. How foolish, see how young he is! Of course he would not have a powerful one, the crystal would not have had time to blossom yet.
Even as he spoke, a small, shining substance appeared to be drawn out of the boy's sternum. That, thought Chris, a star crystal?
Chris: Busta, he's hurting that boy, we have to do something!
Busta: Yes, but you can't possibly take him on as you are, you must transform.
Chris: Can you try to make sense already!?
As response, Busta jumped up into the air, made a spin, and, as if by magic, produced a silver microphone which dropped into Chris' hand.
Chris: Now, I am confused. What are you expecting me to do, hit the seven feet tall man over the head with this? Perhaps sing him a lullaby!?
Busta: If you want to save the boy, you must do exactly as I say. Hold the microphone and should these words into it: "*NSYNC Star Power, Get Down!"
Chris: Get down? Get Down!? GET DOWN!? I'm trying really hard to think of some term that may be more lame than that, I am, but Busta, it's not working. I can't think of anything more lame than that. How the heck did you come up with "get down!?" And what's *NSYNC!?
Busta: Just do it!
Chris: *NSYNC Star Power, Get Down!
Suddenly, a flash of silver light envelopes Chris and the atmosphere around him picks up and swirls around, faster and faster. When the winds have died down and the light dimmed, this is the figure that remains.
Cue tunes of "Crazy For You"
*Chris: Whoa, this ain't too bad.
Busta: Hurry, *Chris, you must stop that scout!
*Chris: Easy for you to say, what am I supposed to do?
Busta: You'll know. Just do it!
*Chris: Hey, you! Stop where you are!
For the first time, the man appeared to notice Chris. At the sight of opposition, his contenance, figure, even his aura twisted into an otherworldly scowl.
*Chris: Christ, he's not human!
Busta: Don't back down, you have stronger powers than that thing can ever imagine!
Without warning, the creature suddenly lunged at *Chris.
Jesus, it was fast.
He was barely able to dodge out of the way as the creature(he had stopped thinking of it as anything remotely human)flew past raking...something...across the cement ground.
Out of a small corner of his mind, *Chris noted that the boy's star crystal had returned into his body after the creature lost concentration. Also he noted that his physical powers seems to have augmented; the lightning-quick dodge he made took almost nothing out of him.
*Chris: Alright, I can do this!
Moving with the speed of the wind, *Chris rushed forward and landed three punches unto the creature...the "scout?"...knocking it onto its back.
Busta: Now's your chance, take him out!
*Chris: *NSYNC! Lunatic Storm!
As he shouted these words, *Chris spun around three times. On the third time he thrusted his arms out to his sides, creating a sudden fierce turbulence of air that slammed into the creature and...disintegrated it!?
*Chris: O_O!?!?!? Oh, this is just too much. I believe I will lie down and take a crap now.
Busta: Great work, *Chris! Even if that was just a low-level henchman, you performed expertly for a novice @$$kicker. And the boy will be alright, he's just spent from the whole soul stealing thing.
*Chris: Soul stealing...? Little pug, this isn't a dream, is it?
At this, Busta made a little doggy smile.
Busta: Some dreams just fade away like yesterday. And some dreams are made to stay. Yeah, dude, this is a dream...you just ain't gonna wake up anytime soon.
*Chris: So...what happens now? What am I supposed to do? Go around finding 7 feet tall @$$es to kick?
Busta: The most important thing to do right now is to find your teammates. You are powerful, but alone you won't last very long against the "Corpulence."
*Chris: Teammates? Heck, I've always wanted to start a band or something...
Chapter 2: "Mice"
(And if you know anything about how *NSYNC was formed you have a pretty good idea of what's gonna happen next:)!)
