On December 24, year 2000, BrianWilly's house...
Lance has decided that, in addition to his New Years bash, he's also going to host a Christmas party! After much discussion/arguing/pleading/threatening/blackmailing from BrianWilly, he's decided to host it at BW's house.
And thus begins the night...
*BrianWilly doesn't hear him, instead he's too busy snapping pictures of Lance which he will later auction off on Ebay*
Lance: Brian...
*Snap snap*
Lance: Brian.
*Snap snap*
Lance: BRIAN!
BW: Huh, what?
Lance: Stop taking pictures of me!
BW: Oh, get into the spirit Lance. It's Christmas! The season of lawsuits.
Lance: Right!...It was just around this time last year when we had that nasty thing going on with Lou. Wow, that came out wrong.
BW: And you won! So cheers, cheers! Get into the Holiday spirit! Now hold still so I can get some @$$ shots, those are worth a fortune in the black market.
Lance: I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear that because I was busy talking to my imaginary Mississippian friend Poofu. Poofu, how are you? Merry Christmas, Poofu.
*The doorbell rings, and Lance goes to answer it*
Lance: Welcome, JC!
JC: I come bearing gifts!
BW: Gifts?...Nevermind. Just...nevermind.
JC: Look, I brought a gift especially for the girls.
Lance: Wow, that's really thoughtful. I'm sure they'll appreciate your gift.
BW: ...
JC: Hey what's wrong? Oh right, I didn't bring any gifts for you...
BW: OH NO THAT'S OKAY I DON'T NEED YOUR...GIFT...
*Lance and JC stare at BW oddly for a moment, then shrugs*
Lance: So JC, what are you doing this Christmas?
JC: Hold on...! "What Are You Doing This Christmas?" That's a great song idea! 'Scuse me for an hour or two...
*JC then runs into a corner, pulls out his cell phone, and starts blabbing about doing things for Christmas*
Lance: ...
BW: ...
Lance: ...So, who else is coming today...
*Suddenly Joey drops in from the fireplace in a Santa suit*
Joey: Ho ho ho, Merry Christma...
Lance/BW: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
*Lance and BW run and hide behind the sofa*
Joey: Hey! Why aren't you showing me any love...I never receive any love...you wouldn't be hiding if it was Justin...
BW: You...you just climbed down my chimney! How did you just climb down my...
Lance: Joey's magical like that...we think he might be the reincarnation of Santa Claus. Either that or it's Rudolph.
Joey: I might even bleach my hair white to prove it!
BW: Um, please don't, I might die if you do.
Lance: Joe, did you bring any movies for us?
Joey: Yes, I brought Superman, Superman II, not Superman III cause it bites, The Adult Confessions Series...
BW: You brought what!?
Joey: UM. I actually mean Superman IV, actually...
Lance: ...Tell you what Joey, why don't you go into the kitchen and make us a nice Christmas dinner?
Joey: Yay! I love cooking!
*Joey prances off into the kitchen singing showtunes, while JC is still shouting things into his cell phone*
Lance: Brian what are you doing?
BW: HUH? Uh, I'm just, uh, looking through some of Joey's...tapes...
*The doorbell rings again. This time, Chris arrives dragging a frightened Howie D. by the arm*
Chris: Come on, Howie, don't be such a freaking tool!
Howie: But...but...*Looks over his shoulder*
Lance: Chris, what's going on?
Chris: It's Howie! Geez, you need to lighten up!
Howie: But...Kevin and AJ say that if they see me with you guys anymore, the beatings will start again, and...and this time they might use the straps too, and...
Lance: Hence Black and Blue...
Howie: And I just need some love, that's all...
*Howie runs and hugs JC, then runs into the kitchen and hugs Joey*
JC: What the...!
Joey: AAAAAaaaaahhh!
Lance: ...
BW: ...
Chris: ...Hey, look at the tree!
BW: Oh, do you like it? I decorated it all by myself.
Chris: Look at the tree!
BW: Yes, I think it looks cool too...
Chris: Look at the tree!
BW: Um...
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
BW: Yes, I'm looking.
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
BW: ...I like trees too, but...
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
BW: Stop it.
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
BW: I'm gonna fart in your face, Chris.
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
BW: That's it, I'm burning the tree...
Lance: Oh just leave the poor misunderstood child alone, he hasn't taken his medication today.
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
*The door burst open and Justin and Britney bursts in, arguing*
Justin: Da**it, Brit, why didn't you tell me about this Adam fellow, I thought you and I were special!
Britney: Back off, crunkboy, what's with this I hear about you backing a fan up against the wall!? I can't believe this, you never backed me up against a wall, and now a fourteen year old!?
Justin: She wasn't fourteen, she was fifteen!...I think...but that's not the point! How could you be using me as a cover, Brit, I can tell you I'm so much more worth it than Adam!
Britney: There is no Adam!
Justin: Well there is no fourteen year old!
Britney: I don't believe you! After all you were the one who lied to all your fans about us dating...
Justin: Look who's talking! Lying to all your fans about us dating...
Britney: I hate you!
Justin: I hate you too!
Britney: I love you!
Justin: I love you too!
*Then the two starts to, ah, breathe fresh air into each other at an alarming rate*
BW: CAN'T YOU TWO GET A FREAKING ROOM!!!??
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
BW: Chris!!!...Lance I need something to kill, I need something to kill right now...
*Doorbell rings again*
Man: Hello.
BW: Hi, um, who are you?
Man: I'm Marc Blucas. I used to be on Buffy but apparently I was too human for her. Now if I don't sleep with enough producers by next year I'll never have another job again!
BW: But I didn't invite you. I don't even like Riley! Who invited you?
*Stares at Lance*
Lance: I felt sorry for him.
BW: But...
Marc: Oh, you have Buffy merchandise! I...I miss that show...sniffle...
*Doorbell rings again and four other guys step in*
Lance: What? Who are these people?
Ikaika: We're LMNT.
Lance: What? What's element? And why do you look exactly like Kevin Richardson?
Ikaika: We're two guys from Making the Band who didn't make the band plus one who did plus one who no one's heard of.
*Lance glares at BW*
Lance: Why!?
BW: Okay, I invited them 'cause they're the anti O-Town. You gotta give me credit for that.
*Lance continues glaring*
BW: So sue me! Haha, get it? Sue?
*Lance continues glaring*
Other LMNT Guy: Hey, my favorite celebrity is Justin Timberlake
Justin: What? What about me?
Britney: Why doesn't anyone talk about me? I'm important too. I think I need to talk to Johnny about getting me more exposure.
Justin: ...Trust me Brit you're plenty exposed...
BW: It seemed like a cool idea at the time!
Lance: Well it's not!
Ikaika: Good thing I didn't stick with them, otherwise I might've ended up in Liquid Dreams...
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
JC: You guys, keep it down! I'm trying to talk to myself on the phone!
Joey: Can someone come in here and pry Howie off me? I can't cook with him...
Marc: Memorieeeeeeeeeess...wo-wo-wo...memories of Buffyyyyyyyyyy...
Lance: Great. This is just great. The whole night is ruined! Poofu, what am I going to do? There is absolutely nothing that can make this night even worse!
*Just then Fred Durst crashes throught the window, bloody and battered, followed by Christina Aguilera wielding a steel baseball bat*
Christina: That'll teach you to make up things about me! Get back here, I'm not through beating you yet!
Fred{In tears}: I'm sorry ma'am, I'll never disrespect you ever again...
Lance: ...Okay, now there is no way this night could get any worse.
*An explosion occurs in the wall and Kathy Griffin emerges*
Kathy: Dang I thought I was gonna have to drill through with my nipples! Lancey, there you are! Come here, I need to rape you some more!
Lance: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*Lance runs into the kitchen*
Kathy: Wait for me!
Britney: Whoa, hold up skank, you ain't getting any tonight.
Kathy: Yeah, you better step up, beeeeeatch.
Justin: Ladies, ladies...
Kathy: Oh be quiet Justin, I like Lance more than you anyway.
Britney: Now that is just mean! Prepare yourselves, hootchie.
Justin: You...you mean people actually like Lance more than me...?
*Justin starts to cry as Kathy and Britney have a bloody fistfight. Just then Joey comes out of the kitchen with Howie and Lance clinging to his neck and food stains all over his mouth*
BW: So, Joey, please tell me we're at least getting a decent meal.
Joey: Meal? What?
BW: You know, our dinner? That you were cooking?
Joey: Oh...I ate it.
BW: WHAT!? All of it?
Joey: Well, Howie helped, but it was mostly me.
BW: But what about our dinner!?
JC: There! I finally got it! Guys, our new song, "What Are You Doing This Christmas?"! Guys? What's going on?
Chris: Look at the treeeeeeeeee!
Britney took Christina's steel bat and decked out Kathy, then she and Lance sold the body to the black market. Marc Blucas took Joey's video collection and ran away. Justin is still crying, but that's okay because BW is crying right along with him because his house is trashed. Ikaika invited Howie to become the fifth member of LMNT because they didn't have a Latin lover yet. Joey and Fred Durst watched Chyna on WWF all night long. JC gave Chris some medication, then Chris called Dani over who baked pop tarts for everyone.