My shameless ripping off continues. This time off of Rinkwork's Movie-a-Minute, which...most hilarious site in the universe, you have to check it out. Also check out their Book-a-Minute.
Basically, the site takes "several classic and contemporary movies and extracted the important stuff, cutting out all the filler." Well...I'm taking a bunch of contemporary movies with pop stars, most noticeably the ones *NSYNC has appeared in, and cutting them down to size.
'Cause hey, sometimes you just don't wanna sit through an hour and a half of what you can read in a minute;).
Warning: All these are spoilers. Um...well, kinda. Read at your own risk:p!
Kevin: I choke under pressure.
Jackie, Brady, and Kevin's boss: We're evil.
Abbey: Al Green. Cubs. Paper airplane. Reagan.
Kevin: I love her.
Abbey: Bye.
*Kevin looks for Abbey. Instead he meets strange women*
Kevin's friends: We want to meet strange women too.
Kevin: No.
*Kevin's friends meet strange women*
Eric: Hey cutie.
Abbey: Screw you.
Lance: Hey! It's me!
Abbey: Screw you.
*Kevin beats Eric*
Rod: I'm sorry Kevin. You fill me with confidence.
Kevin: It's too late. I'm screwed.
*Kevin's friends stalk Abbey. Kevin stalks Abbey.*
Rod: I'm ready to faaaaaaall.
Julie: I love you.
Rod: Okay.
Strange woman: I love you.
Randy: Okay.
Kevin: ASL?
Abbey: I thought you'd never ask.
Al Green: L-O-V-E!
Justin and Chris: Quick, let's shamelessly steal the spotlight!!
Toula: I'm Greek and it's funny. College rules.
Ian: I'm not Greek. Let's get married.
Toula: Okay.
Toula's father Gus: Windex makes it SHINE! I want him to be Greek.
*Ian becomes Greek*
Nick and Angelo: Three genitals. Woupa!
Aunt Voula: My twin is on my neck. Have some lamb.
Ian's parents: *gets plastered*
Toula's mother Maria: We came to this country so that you can make tiger sex.
Toula: Aw, that's so heartwarming.
*Ian and Toula get married*
Gus: Apples and oranges are both fruits.
All: GASP!
Janine: I'm sexy, intelligent, and have a promising future. I hate my life.
Alex: I'm sexy, intelligent, and have a promising future. I hate my life.
Janine: Let's switch.
Alex: No. Well, okay.
Alex and Janine's families: We're annoying and cause trouble.
Eric: I'm a jerk. No wait, I'm not. Am I? *spends the rest of the movie trying to decide*
Jason: I'm a misunderstood celebrity plagued by a stereotypical image wrought upon me by the media and the public.
*NSYNC Fans: Wow, Justin sure can act.
Alex and Janine: This is fun. No wait, it's not. Let's switch back. We've learned a valuable lesson.
Jack: I'm...
Lou Pearlman: Enough plot. *NSYNC is in this movie. GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!
Landon: I'm filled with angst and don't know what I want to do with my life.
Jamie: I'm perfect. Behold as my beautiful smile lights up the universe and my heavenly voice guides you onto the loving embrace of the Lord Himself.
Teenagers: Geez, what a freak.
Eric: I represent black people. Holla back, brotha!
Landon: Please help me with my lines.
Jamie: You must have faith in astronomy.
*Jamie helps Landon with lines*
Landon: I shall do sweet and impossibly romantic things for you so as the female audience members will be insanely jealous and expect their boyfriends to do the same.
Jamie: I shall make you as perfect as I am.
Landon: I love you.
Jamie: F**K!!!! Landon, I have leukemia.
Landon: F**K!!!!
*Jamie cries. Landon cries. Landon cries some more. And then they cry together.*
Critics: GASP!! Young people can act!
Landon: Will you marry me?
Female Audience Members: *orgasm*
Jamie: Yes.
Landon: I've become a better person.
Jamie: Too bad I'm dead.
Landon: F**K!!!!
Lucy: (In impossibly deep Southern accent)Ah want to be a singger and blow ahf college agaainst mah daad's wishes, and mah dreeam is to fahnd mah mahm. And Ah'm a virrginn.
Audience: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That's a good one Britney!
Kit: I'm superficial and insecure.
Mimi: I'm pregnant and ostricized. Let's take a road trip to LA with a rumored homicidal maniac and no money so we can enter a talent contest with almost no chance of success!
Lucy and Kit: Okay!
Ben: Grunt.
Lucy: I love rock and roll!
*The girls get drunk and become friends again*
Lucy's mom: You were a mistake.
Lucy: GASP! TEAR! DRAMA!
Ben: VULNERABILITY! Can we have sex now?
Lucy: Yes.
Kit's Fiancee: I have a blue bottle.
Kit: BASTARD!!!!!!!!
Mimi: Aaiiee! *falls down stairs*
*so in the end, Lucy doesn't reconcile with her mom, Kit finds that her fiancee is a rapist, and Mimi has a miscarriage. And it's HEARTWARMING*
Lucy: Because I've found out that I'm not a girl and not yet a woman. *cues track*
More to come, maybe;)?