The following is a fanfic written by me. The attitudes of the non-celebrity character are based on real attitudes, but the characters themselves are totally made up by me. Don't take it too seriously, but do make sure to watch and learn:)


Somewhere, someday, in a certain place, with a certain group of people...

Announcer: Today on the BrianWilly show, Hey! I've had enough of your ribbing, and I'm gonna give you A PIECE OF MY MIND!

BrianWilly: Hello all, and welcome to our show!

Audience cheers

BrianWilly: Today we will be discussing a very sensitive and emotionally staggering topic. Our guests today are individuals who have been hurt by certain materials that certain other individuals have said about them. They feel that the barbs were placed too well in the spirit of insensitivity and ill-humor.

Audience: Awww...

BW: You know, it's too often that people don't take enough responsibility for what they say, especially in a country where free speech is encouraged. Well, because we have free speech, we're gonna get these ill-mannered individuals on the receiving end and have them confront their victims!

Crowd cheers

BW: Before I introduce my first guests, I should acquaint you all with our security...obviously I don't condone it, but things are likely to get very rough today. So to make sure we have order on the set, here are some men who I really would not like to insult and meet in a dark alley, can I have a round of applause for 98 Degrees!

Four towering giants in black leather step out and are warmly welcomed by thunderous cheers. They take their places at the sides of the stage.

BW: Now, let's meet our first guests...two distinguished young men who says they have taken enough from their abusers. From *NSYNC, please welcome Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone!

Joey and Chris step out, with Busta in Chris' arms. Audience stands and cheers insanely.

BW: Please gentlemen, have a seat.

Chris: Hey.

Joey: Hey.

BW: Hey. I can't thank you enough for being here today.

Chris: No problem, really, we appreciate your efforts in giving us the chance to talk frankly in front of our attackers.

BW: Oh no, I meant that I'm gonna be able to auction off those chairs that you're sitting on for a lot of money. Anyway, why exactly have you decided to suddenly come forward and meet your attackers in such a manner?

Joey: Well, there has just been too many sites on the internet that just brutally attack us when all we're trying to do is please them. I mean, I'm just trying to be the best Joey I can be, and these people just insult me for the weirdest reasons!

Chris: I swear, if anyone calls me a granddaddy again, I'm just gonna have Busta bite them on their...

Busta: Arf!

Chris: Don't worry, buddy, I'd never force you to such torture.

BW: Seriously Chris, that comes fairly close to animal abuse.

Chris: Some of them even say that we shouldn't be in the group. What bull. Who would have done the solo in "I Drive Myself Crazy"?

BW & Joey: JC.

Pause

Chris: Anyway, without us there would be no *NSYNC at all, or it'd be so different it wouldn't be *NSYNC.

BW: No, please, don't even subject us to the idea. No *NSYNC!? Curse all who propose this upon us!

Chris: And they print false ideas about us. It's even worse than tabloids because people listen to them; They're supposedly our "fans." And then rumors get started. It's not just us two; I think the whole Justin-Britney thing was totally blown out of proportion by internet fanatics. How can they be going out now when they're terrified to even be seen together?

BW: You do have a point about that. A small point, yes, but a point.

Joey: JC's been so stressed out by everyone calling him a crackhead that he's considered taking pills. Wait, no, that's not right...

Chris: And poor Lance, we have a hard time getting him to wear stage makeup now because he's developed a phobia against anything feminine.

Joey: Yeah, it's so bad. They spread so much false informations that everyone thinks I'm some kind of big sex disease! I can't even get any girls to approach me 'cause they all think I have STDs! I'm normally a very happy person, but now everyone thinks I'm bad. (Breaking down)A lot of the times it's funny, but they're just not...not letting anyone get to know the real me...and...and...sniffle

Chris: Oh dear.

Joey: I...I...WAAAAAHHHH!!! (Starts to cry) I just wanna be LOVED>_< !!!

BW: Whoa, slow down, horsie, you're with friends.

Joey: Why are you all so MEAN TO ME:(!?!?!?

Chris: Please, Joey, there there don't cry.

Joey: Do you KNOW how long it has been since the last time I got LAID!?:(:(:(

BW: God, that is just evil. Audience nods in sympathy. Tears are shed for the poor unfortunate soul

Chris: Don't cry, Joey. Here, I'll let you hold Busta. Isn't Busta the cutest little doggie? Here, pet Busta...Doesn't Joey-bear feel so much better?

Joey: I...sniffle...I guess.

BW: Fellow viewers and *NSYNC fans, do you not see the trauma of which they have been dealt by people who underestimate their own power!?

Audience Member: Let's kill those bastards!!! Rest of audience explodes in furious consent. The men of 98 Degrees tense, prepared for riot.

BW: Hey, hey, hey, none of that now! If you wanna do violence you're gonna have to do it on your own websites. Now, Joey and Chris, why don't you two go backstage while I introduce the antagonist. Chris and Joey leave. For the sake of whatever, the real name of our next guest has been changed and her face blurred to keep her identity safe. Like I even know what the heck she looks like anyway, I just made her up. Please welcome...er...acknowledge Ms. Z.

A girl comes out. Audience immediately starts to hiss and boo. Z pretends to be offended and just gives the audience the finger.

BW: Ah. Uh huh. Sit down, freak. Do you have anything to say for yourselves before we humiliate you...er...I mean, do you have any idea why you are here today?

Z: Well, apparently some s***s thought that I was too f***i** rude to their h**o-as** or some****. Yea, whatever the ****. It's my website and I can ******* say whatever **** I want, looser. Yea, you ****ing give it to him, sista girlfriend. Huh huh. **tch power!

BW: I have just come to two conclusions: 1, you are very stupid, it's "loser," not "looser," if you're going to insult people get it right, and 2, you are a whore, which is actually just fine because the theme of this page is Jerry Springer anyway. Don't you have any shame that what you say hurts people and puts them and you in a bad light?

Z: What!? It's my ******* opinions, you just have to ******* deal with them, or don't come look at them. You put a lot of **** in your website too.

BW: When I talk trash I have the decency to note that there's always the possiblilty that my opinions can be rude and offensive to other people and welcome their input. But I'm not gonna defend myself to you; My two special guests are going to do that.

Joey and Chris come back out. Z is surprised, but regain her **tc*y composure. The duo sits far from the girl.

BW: Now, Joey, Chris, would you like to say something to this...person?

Joey: Yes, um...Hey, those things you said about us are mean and you shouldn't say it.

Z: Whatever, you disgusting piece of ****. You're a big fat ho** pimp and you know it. Plus you're stupid as ****.

Joey: I'm not stupid, you're stupid, you enormously impenetrable mass of slanderous glycerol! Where do you come off saying that I'm stupid, you don't even know me!

Z: Oh, whateva I've seen you in those interviews, you sound as dumb as they **c***g come.

BW: Actually, that's how most guys sound. Don't you ever watch The Real World?

Z: Shut up, ****ol*.

Audience starts hissing and booing.

Z: Oh, you wanna piece of this!? Y'all better just respect my **** authority if you know what's good for your ***es. Bring it on!

BW: Let's take some audience responses... Holds microphone up to a Female Audience Member.

Female Audience Member: Girl, you gotta get yourself some respect, you actually think that your attitude is appealing to others?

Z: Oh, whatup, bizatch? You jus' be a jealous ho' 'cause you ain't as well racked as this *****.

Chris, Joey, and BrianWilly cough loudly.

Z: Oh, you know you want me and you can't take it! Lifts up her shirt and flashes everyone.

Joey: Ow, that hurt! Why'd you have to go and do that!?

BW: Seriously, you can get assault charges for that.

Z: Oh, you're both just **gs and Chris is so old he's just flaccid anyway.

Chris: Oh, that is it.

Chris rushes forward, determined to inflict bodily injury upon Z, but are held back by BrianWilly, Joey, Busta, Nick Lachey, and Jeff Timmons. Z jumps up and starts off on a string of profanity, and Drew Lachey and Justin Jeffrey urge her in a strict tone of voice to sit her *** down. Audience is on their feet and chanting "Willy! Willy! Willy!"

Chris: Let me hurt her, Joey. Let me hurt her! I swear to God that I won't leave permanent scars on her trashy...

BW: Chris, you know we can't have that!

Z: His ugly lard can't take me and he knows it.

Chris: I swear to God!

Joey: Remember what your psychiatrist told you: Just sing Jessica Simpson songs until you release all your anger!

Nick: Hey, that's the technique I use:) Works wonders.

Chris: I must hurt her! I must! How can you stand it she needs to be vanquished!

BW: Sing with us, Chris! "I think I'm in love~~~"

Commercial break.
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{Sarah Michelle Gellar Maybeline Commercial}
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{Preview for upcoming X-Men movie.}
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{Commercial for thetruth.com(Hey, we're a friendly network)}
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* And we're back. Audience cheers. Everyone is seated properly and semi-calm.

Chris & Nick: "...and taaake meee wheeeere yooooooouuu aaaaarre..."

BW: That is very touching, but are you tranquilized now, Chris? Are you able to continue?

Chris: We'll be dancing in the moonli...what? Oh, yeah, I'm cool. Sorry about the outbursts and all...

BW: Totally understood. Now, Z, would you like to defend yourselves against their accusations?

Z: Yea...um...hey, I'm not hurting anyone, so why the **** should it matter if I write whateva the **** I want!?

Joey: But you're hurting me!

Z: I don't ******* like you!

Joey: Whimper.

Chris: What you write and display on your pages hurt *NSYNC because it gives us a bad rep...no matter how humorous it was meant to be, there's always going to be someone who doesn't take it like that. It speaks badly of us and of you, and it can definitely offend the viewers.

BW: It's like you intentionally put things up that are offensive and rude to some people. I mean, smart people will just brush it by, but when it happens so often even the most tolerable of folks start to question your intentions. Why do you put all that crap down, anyway? For humor? There are better ways to get people to laugh, trust me.

Z: Wow. You guys have totally enlightened me and proved to me just how ridiculous I was being...******* not! HA! What pure bull****. You're just jealous because I have a *u***ng better website than you. If people can't take it they can just ******************************** it!

Chris: This is useless. We'll never get through to her thick skull. I propose we put her to sleep.

BW: Wait, what...

Male Audience Member: Yeah, let's put her out of her misery!

The entire audience rushes forward, ready to take her down. The men of 98 Degrees try to push them back, but it's useless. Z stands and starts throwing e-mail bombs at the audience.

Drew: You know what, I'm just going to let them kill each other.

BW: You guys can't do this, this website is supposed to be PG-13! Geocities will shut me down!

Joey(Moving out of the throng):...Maybe you'd better end this show while you still have some dignity left.

BW: Good call. I don't know how Jerry puts up with this ****.

BrianWilly's Final Thoughts: You know, people are always saying things that they later regret, especially when they are angry, depressed, on crack, or in midst of an orgasm. What's important to remember is that there are people who will get annoyed with you for what you state. I'm not saying that you should totally conceal your true feelings, but try to look at it from the other guy's point of view and understand why he should have a problem with you. Only then can you truly obtain people's respect. Because in the end, that's the important part: Respect from others, respect from yourself. The character of Z was fictional and murdered by a raving mob led by Chris Kirkpatrick, but her spirit lives in many of your websites...take care to not become like her. Um...what's that thing Jerry says at the end of each one of his shows? I can't remember...drive safely or somejack?