As most of you probably already know, I have a rather unhealthy liking for the show Friends. Well, one of the best parts of Friends has always been the musical styings of Phoebe Buffay. On this page you can find the lyrics to some of her wonderful original songs.
They won't take you to the vet
Are you in there little fetus?
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes,
There was a girl we'll call her Betty
Sometimes men love women,
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song.
I made a man with eyes of coal
They'll be times when you get older,
New York City has no power,
Crazy underwear creeping up my butt
Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
You're obviously not their favorite pet
You may not be a bed of roses
And you're no friend to those with noses
(Chorus)Smelly cat, smelly cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
And you cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry...
she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,
but the truth is she died and some day you will too.
La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
And a guy let's call him Neil
Now I can't stress this point too strongly
This story isn't real.
(time passes by)
Now our Neil must decide
Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
Will Betty be the one who he loves truly
Or will it be the one who we'll call L-L-Lulie?
He must decide, he must decide
Even though I made him up he must decide
sometimes men love men,
and then there are bisexuals,
though some just say they're kidding themselves.
la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Nooowww, chickens!
Stop me if you've heard it.
My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet,
and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.
Lather, rinse, repeat,
and lather, rinse, repeat,
and lather, rinse, repeat, as needed.
And a smile so bewitchin',
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
(shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
When you'll want to sleep with people
Just to make them happy, but don't!
Cause..that's another thing that you don't wanna do. Everybody
(all)That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
and the milk is getting sour.
But to me it is not scary,
'cause I stay away from dairy.
Crazy underwear always in a rut
Crazy underwear...
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
No don't sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!