Franko's Web Page

Frank Chown's Chubes 12

5 years and counting!

Online since 2004!

Has followed me through 3 schools!

Let's face it, no one comes to see the other stuff and it's hopelessly outdated. If you'd like to see the old stuff, mainly the old front page, go HERE to see it.

Chubes12: 2009

Year Six:
April:
4-5-09
I'm sorry but this is the last day I intend on updating this site. I now have a facebook account and that does everything this site was intended for. I achieved more than I ever hoped for when I made this site. I kept it up for Five years with montly updates for the majority of that time. With only 2 months left before Graduation, and this site slowly following apart I have nothing left to give to this site. The actual updates stopped at least a year ago, the montly logs stopped 2 months ago, and updating on the 4th stopped yesterday. I can't pretend it's active anymore when it's not. I've gotten very personal on this site, and I won't remove any of it. I hope viewers can find what they're looking for here. I'm sorry I must end this site now, but I won't remove it. Everything I've done will be saved as a document for the future. If you want to contact me, email me at frankochown@comcast.net or message me at frank chown on facebook.

March:
3-4-09
Hmm yes, I am back for another month. On March 29th I turn 19, I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's a lucky thing too, It happens in spring break like most every year, although I wouldn't have liked it to be the final Sunday of Spring Break, if i'd had my way of it. Sundays aren't too fun in general as it is, they end the weekend, I can't stay up late, as soon as I wake up, bam, it's Monday. Birthdays aren't much better. I don't get gifts like I used to, nor have I had a real birthday since grade school. I get together with family, hardly any friends to invite so I don't bother. If I had my way I wouldn't even celebrate. A check in the mail is about all I can expect. Most things embarass me. I think getting any form of recognition for me is too much. Every time there is an assembly at school I think "If I get called up I'd rather die than go out in front of them." This has always held true for me, and I only hope I get unrecognised at Graduation. It's not really that being recognised is scary, it's being in front of people and being the center of attention that's scary. I don't feel comfortable being popular. It seems like if I become popular it means that I'm stealing the attention away from someone else. Truthfully I feel lost, everyone knows me better than I know myself, and all want to help me, but I don't want to help myself. I'd rather be alone, if I depended completely on other people I'd rather die. College is my last hope, if I don't find what I'm looking for, then there's no point in continuing this site. I won't have anything left to say. I wonder why people live, if I had some big purpose in life I would have found it by now, so why do I wake up every day? I just don't understand this universe, all these great people die in accidents every day and people like me with no compassion for others just keep living. I don't think I have a big purpose. I just hope I can marry someone with a purpose so I can waste my life helping them, at least that way I could chip in for all those people who unfairly die. I often wonder what life would be like having been born in another time, another country, another family, speaking another language, living as the opposite gender, I've always wondered how different life could be, wondered if I'd be happier or unhappy, wondered if the Indians were right to believe future lives would be affected by the choices we make in our lives. I hope I can earn myself a better life, if not at least I'll die someday knowing I did all I could. I remember when I used to think about death all the time, maybe it was OCD or Schitzophrenia, who knows, but I used to think about it all the time, wondered if I'd live to old age or die in a plane crash. I just hope it goes quick when it happens. But what really irks me the most are the opinions of other people. It's people take make us unhappy and yet it's people who say it's our fault we're unhappy, it's people who feel sympathy but don't want to help, it's people who think they can fix a persons problems. And yet I'm writing an English paper on people, I couldn't be bothered trying to understand them, and yet my paper depends on it. We all have this beast inside of us but all of us attempt to cover it up, attempt to say we don't have this beast but we all do. We're all monsters controlled only by society. Somtimes I just get thinking too deep, I'm not sure I think of all people this way, but I do have a very convenient system in place. All people I don't like I pretty much group together as the Liberals, the democratic republic of change. Perhaps I'm too afraid just afraid of confronting people. At least that's what they'd tell me. I'm tired of caring about what other people think. My philosophy is that it doesn't matter what people think, it doesn't matter what society thinks, it doesn't matter what your friends think, it doesn't matter what your family thinks. If you believe in something then do it. Don't waste your life waiting. Well, I'm sorry for not going on about what I'm doing this month, but I'm not doing much really. Just watching Lost, and playing Dragon Quest V. See you all next month, and hey, this deep philosophy stuff is interesting. I think I'll try and do this in future months.

February:
2-4-09
I wouldn't have guessed this Five years ago. No, not this site, but it happened. Chubes12 has been around for Five whole years, and it doesn't look to be going away anytime soon either. Perhaps I should give a history lesson, just for the occasion. Chubes12 the name came from the slang word Chubs, which meant fat. I thought it sounded cool, only my mistake was I mispelled as chubes, I would have done chubes for the geocities name however it was already taken, I went for chubes1 but it was also taken, so I did chubes12. I started geocities because my friend sean, at the time had recently made a site and he recommended I make one as well. Basically I came on with simple photo's from google, and pages full of shows, movies and games I liked. It was a simple site about me, just for fun. That's all it's ever been to me, just a simple site for me, about me, for fun. Of course it didn't stay fun for long. I worked on it a whole month and thought at the time it really was pointless. So the next 5 months went by with the site just withering away. I thought I was finished but I got a crazy idea that summer... "why not continue it, make it something special, like an online journal about me?" That's what I did, for the next 4 1/2 years I've maintained, I post a new comment every month, and always have for the last 4 1/2 years. Of course I've been busy, the site has been active, and for a few years it's been almost dead, but I've never stopped updating monthly. I had plans a few months back to shut it down now, to not proceed another day. Sure it would be fitting to end it here after 5 solid years of keeping it online, but I won't do that. I refuse to give up now.

This is uncommon for me, to start a new paragraph, but I figure the site is ready to go in a new direction. So where have I gone these past Five Years? The first year I remained, miserable at my first school, St. Mary's Cathedral. I was enrolled there from Kindergarden through 7th grade, the year I made this site. A few months after I abandoned the site I chose to abandon the school as well. It was fitting, I'd been there 9 years, and begun to resent the way the teachers would treat me. I resented my old friends as they just wouldn't change, and I resented the confined feeling of the school as well. From there I went to the school my mom had been working at, at the time, Arts and Communication Magnet Academy. It's a special art school, it's said to be one of the best in the whole country. I entered through a lottery, there aren't many spaces, and it's both a small school, and a very popular one, but I got in the normal way. I would spend perhaps 2 of the best years of my life there, 8th and 9th grade. I trained my artistic skills with my former 4th grade teacher in Drawing and Painting, and met countless wonderful people. What they did for me, I can never fully repay. I'd been hurt bad at Cathedral, I lost my self esteem, and my best friend sean. He begun to change the year before we arrived. The truth is we both left Cathedral together, to run away from our troubles and to start over, but the summer before entering he changed, he lost a lot of weight but he also lost his entire personality. So there I was, alone, with no self esteem, and all my friends left behind, betrayed. I had to change, but I got back control of my life, and will never forget it. Maybe the school isn't special, but what it did for me was give me hope and happiness. Unfortunately I had to leave for two reasons, 1. the district got tough and said out of district kids had to leave, I was one of them, 2. The school would get increasinly more difficult and require that I became a great artist which I wasn't. I was forced to leave in result. The last half of this sites history I spent at my latest school, Lake Oswego High School. This has been a good experience for me. What I finally gained for the first time in my life was stability. I no longer had to be a perfect christian, or a perfect artist. This school didn't expect anything of me, It finally let me be myself. Another success behind the school is that it's practically in my backyard, it's MY public school. I was supposed to go here because I actually live here. Sure it's a public school, but it's been amazing. We've been winning in almost every sport, and sometimes we're even the best. In football alone we went to the final game undefeated, unfortunately we lost, but we still remained ranked number 1 in the state. Like the previous two schools there have been many great people here, who really appreciate me, and don't judge. The benefit over the previous two schools is that there are now 1,300+ kids rather than 550 and 250 like the previous two schools. Having so many people, many whom I'll never meet has always been a blessing. I was very lucky early on to meet people here. These are people who I can trust, and stay good friends with. This is a class, I can't wait to graduate with. It's not like the classes I had before, where I didn't feel like I belonged, I do feel apart of this class, and I'm ready to graduate with them this June.

I've learned a lot these past 5 years, and I can say that I've made some huge decisions as well. Leaving Cathedral a year early towards an uncertain fate was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, and I felt guilty about leaving them behind for several years. Leaving ACMA was equally as hard because I had not wanted to, I was forced to leave, and it left a bitter feeling in my heart. It took me an entire year to leave ACMA behind me. I visited ACMA for a single day in may the year after I left, and I realized something. Everyone but me had moved on. It wasn't my school anymore and they didn't miss me, I wasn't wanted anymore. I didn't feel right being there, It felt wrong, and I never desired to go back again. It showed me how much life changes when you leave. In these past five years I learned how to live without friends. I lost my faith in them when I fell out with Sean. If it hadn't been for meeting Kelsey I might never have trusted friends like that again. LO was special like that, the school introduced me to many wonderful people. This thing really keeps bugging me. Here is this wonderful school, full of wonderful people, wonderful teachers, and the best friends of my life and they've always been here, in my backyard, just waiting for me to open my eyes. I went to that school my parents sent me too, so I could gain knowledge, and obedience but I gained nothing. Then I chose a school for myself and still didn't find what I was looking for. Then after giving up all hope I was placed in a Public school, which honestly is the last thing a kid could want. The everyman school for everyone, even people who can't go anywhere else. It's always surprised me to see how much better this school is than the other public schools. It's like a gift from God to have a school this wondeful, for free, in my backyard. I still don't get it. I was lucky, perhaps all along this school was waiting for me, to introduce me to friends I could always depend on. I've come a long way these past five years. I went on a journey to find myself, and I believe I finally did. I'm going to Oregon State University next fall, and finally I can use what I've learned these past five years towards building my future.

Having talked longer than I imagine I ever have, I think it's about time I talk about the present. I've been playing Runescape for a month, but I cancelled membership, I don't have to pay them a dime now. Tonight is Lost, it's now the 4th hour of Season 5. I hope all the pieces start coming together, I really want it to start making some sense. Anyways, I've been watching all the back seasons as well. I watched Season 4 after getting it for Christmas, and I went back to Season 1 after that. I finished Season 2 tonight, and in the coming days I will finish off my plan by watching Season 3. Besides that I've started Semester 2 two weeks ago. Now I get out of school every day at 12:30. It's a pretty sweet deal, and gives me plenty of time after school. I think I've gone on long enough now, so see you all later. -Frank Chown-.

January:
Wow, new month, new year, new president, new semester. This is a month of new realities, perhaps a year of new realities as well.

1-4-09
Yes, that's right 1-4-2009! This is the last year of the first decade of the new millenium. Many people fail to realize the magnitude of that. After 8 years we once again have a new president to look forward to. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, when I see him (yes him, americans and women at large are unready for women as President, time of change? sure doesn't seem that way) in action. What can I say? Tommorow is supposed to be the first day of school after a three week hiatus, and I really, desperately want it. There are TWO weeks left of the semester and I need every bit of those two weeks to get everything done. Sadly, my grades will likely plummet if I don't get things done, things turned in, and things made up, and extra credit opportunities met. I need this, we all do. There is now snow falling, I don't know what it means, but I can say this with a straight face, I DO NOT WANT ANY SNOW DAYS UNTIL AFTER FINALS WEEK, and I mean it. End of story. Overall break was good, I played some Runescape, beat Chrono Trigger on the DS in under a week, start to finish, and beat Hotel Dusk for the umpteenth time, still a great game I might add. Christmas was disappointing for the 3rd year in a row. The family just "couldn't" get together, this year it wasn't family issues either, it was THE SNOW... but anyways another uneventful christmas. My presents however were good, no new systems, just 4 movies, a game, a book, and Lost Season 4. Overall not bad there. Other than that, I don't have much else to say. I've been saying for awhile now that I'm planning to hang this site up in February, and why not that will make it 5 straight years, but it just doesn't feel right. No, next month I'm gonna put the site into phase 3. Like phase 2 there are no real updates, but unlike phase 2 there are no guaranteed updates, I'll just come by when it feels right. This is, and has always been, a good place to just say what I've got on my mind, and that's all I've ever wanted. With that, I bid you goodbye until next time!

December:
Alright, a new month, but more importantly the last month of 2008. It may be cold but it's also full of emotions. While some people are very happy with the holidays other people become more aware of their loneliness. It is a cold time of year, and also a happy time of year. Make of it what you will, and enjoy the holidays there are many this month to celebrate. Happy New Years everyone!

12-24-08
This is a bit uncharacteristic of me, but I'm still trapped in my house, snowed in. Two more days and it'll make two solid weeks of snow. More importantly, Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates! 33 minutes until Christmas. Good night everyone!

12-21-08
I've dealt with death on this site before but today it became personal. Today I decided to shovel a path from my house to the street. It was pretty uneventful, but you wouldn't believe what happened a few hours later. A huge tree fell across the driveway. I can't even see my path anymore, it was completely covered. It was then that I realized I could have been covered too. The snow itself has also been pretty tramautic. It's now been falling since the 12th which happens to be 9 days ago, and is expected to fall heavily tomorrow. Nine days of constant snow is near record breaking for most cities in Oregon. It hasn't snowed this hard in Thirty Years. It all started last Saturday, it continued through my last week of school before break, five snow days in a row was a miracle. My winter break was extended from two weeks to three because of the snowfall. It's been in a sense, very boring. Today was the most exciting of all the days for me. The power went out sometime before 8, when I woke up to a cold furnace, and the power came back on around 11 am. Around 6 a big tree fell across the driveway. With both things happening in the same day, it really was extraordinary. Beyond simply being bored I'm alright. I recently got Lost Season 4 on DVD so I've now spent the last three days watching it, I finished it up tonight however. I would like to say more but there isn't much more to talk about, this month has been pretty uneventful with all the snow.

12-4-08
I don't have to lie this month, It's actually the 4th this time. December huh? This might be the last December I do with this site, but maybe not. It's funny because I've been doing Web Design class at school and as much as I hate that class it makes this site less, stifiling. I make my own rules when I work on this site, I appreciate that more now that I've had a class with rules. Being a senior is strange, I'm doing everything for the last time, It's sad but it's not sad like I thought it would be. It's a funny year, in many ways unlike I expected. It's like nothing in life is what people say, only what you see for yourself. Everything has been different as I've seen it with my own eyes. I'm changing more than I ever have in the past. My new years resolution is to sum up enough nerve to change my ways, I think I can succeed doing that. anyways, I have all kinds of things I can say but, what fun would that be right?

November:
This is a huge month, especially for America. As many would like to say, a historic Presidential Election occured on November 4th. World, prepare now for Barack Obama! Don't forget, this changes nothing about November, soon we shall all praise God, Turkey, and Country in Thanksgiving, thanks for another good month!

11-5-08
Considering the circumstances I can't lie about this and pretend I updated yesterday. There's too much to talk about considering the election. Alright, now that it's official and Barack Obama will be the next President it seems like a good topic to cover today. He has promised change many times, but it wasn't until his congratulation speech where he seemed honest. Change is definately coming now, especially in foreign affairs. Europe is finally warming to America, I suspect in these trying times having good standing with the world is what we need most. Our country is less divided than it has been in a long time. It was a decisive victory, the most decisive since 1984, that's 24 years, it's about time. Under the current issues we need unity more than anything. I'm a conservative republican that will not likely change, I voted for John McCain, I'm bitter still, but the new Obama is a far different man than the man we saw campaigning, I think we can trust him now, or at least I sure hope so. On a completely unrelated note, It's been 4 years since I started playing Runescape, oddly enough I started three days after the last Presidential election, on this very day 4 years ago. As for school, I'm past the first quarter of Senior year, It seems all my teacher wanted to punish me, because this is the first real homework I've had all year, and it's all papers and project with very close due dates, it's going to get interesting.

October:
Month of Pumpkins, candy, rotten teeth, stomach aches, and weight gain. What can all this mean? Does it mean Halloween, of course it does! It's October, the month of plenty. Go out there, have fun, deck yourself out in the craziest, the wackiest, the scariest costume you can find. This comes but once a year, you better enjoy it will you can.

10-12-08
Alright, I'm over a week late, I do apologize. This wasn't intentional. The truth is I came on the right day and the program refused to open. It then slipped my mind. I'm not sure why it came to mind tonight but I'm glad it came to mind sooner rather than later. Anyways it's good luck that this happened in the end, because many important things have happened since october 4th. I visited OSU on Friday and all I can say is, wow. The dorms were amazing, the programs were superb, and the people, staff, and students were all incredibly nice. I had a really great time, and I look forward to getting in for next year. College looks very exciting. Along a very different line of news, I've come back to Runescape a lot more lately, and I'm proud to admit the game is starting to improve for me. No, the game still sucks, but I found a way to enjoy it. I'm finally making a lot more progress and it's more fun for me. I may as well mention politics here, because politics are becoming increasingly  more important lately. It's funny but until now politics haven't greatly affected the site because the last time a President ran was during the early days of the site, back then it was an incumbent President simply getting re-elected, basically no big deal. This time there is a lot to talk about regarding that. I am a Moderate Republican, although I am a moderate, I still am a Republican. This is a tricky election in many ways. I don't like Obama, but then again I don't like any of the candidates. McCain has lost his edge, and that concerns me. It concerns all republicans. As a result I've gone from sure, to undecided. Sadly I confess I'm swaying towards Obama now, but that doesn't mean I will vote for him. Yes, if you all forgot, I am 18 now, I'm an adult, I CAN vote, and I obviously will. That's all I've got for you all today, and I must say it sure turned out to be a lot this time. P.S. This this is the longest post I've posted in this form so far :P

September:
A new month, and now that school tension is overwith, it's time to move on. It won't be the greatest month, but the worst thing about school is starting it. Once you've started there's no going back, but nothing is worse than starting. Now the count down to Graduation finally begins. I have only months left before college.

9-4-08
Alright. I'm back, and this time I updated on the right day even. I'm not particulary in the mood to update now, but whatever. I don't have much to say except, I have made the page even smaller today. It's about as small as I can get it. If I make it much smaller it'll likely make people mad, assuming of course that people read this site. I'm not entirely sure if people do, or if they don't. I've been here a long time, and I'd love to know if there are people who stumble here from out of nowhere. I like to believe that only friends I've mentioned this site to have visited and probably only visit once or twice. Anyways, a new month, I have started senior year, and I start Drivers Ed next week. This is going to be a very complex and long year. My classes are complex. I'm not sure what I will end up doing. I wanted challenge, and I got challenge. I have no AP classes, no honors classes, no classes designed for the smart, for college, or for uber challenge. I have none of that, but the truth is that I have tough classes. I have very tough electives and they are tough simply  due to their topics. Cooking may become stressful because of the young class, psychology and Western Civilization mainly from the overbearing teacher, and Web design likely because it's using microsoft FrontPage, which I still am not entirely sure how to use, because people are not very helpful at all. Anyways, I love some of my classes, and will learn to love my other classes. Some will be a challenge. I did not make my schedule to be easy, but to teach me life skills that will ultimately come to my aid next year in college. I hope this year doesn't turn into a nightmare due to my decision, but i will surely find out soon enough. This is all I have for you guys today, bye.

August:
This is the month where everything comes crashing down. Fun ends here, it goes in a coffin and dies. Get ready for windy days, rain, and Maddening Monday's. Yes, August is where it all comes and ends, enjoy it cause it's almost over, very, very close to over. Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!

8-30-08
I realized I needed to make this site cleaner. In this way I gave this text box in the hope of making this site much easier to use, and update.

8-13-08
Yes.. it's not the 4th, it's not in the first week, it's barely in the second week of August. You can tell this site means next to nothing to me now. I have a job, and I'm a Senior in High School in just 3 weeks. Today I got my Learners Permit and I am READY TO DRIVE. I got it on my first try, if I had wanted it earlier, or rather NEEDED it earlier, I would have had it, and would have gotten it. I'm not sure what people want from this site or from me. I'm pretty sure this site doesn't represent me. This site has served it's purpose. It is dieing, dieing, dead, gone. I will try to keep it moderatly active until February, when that time comes however. This site will have been here for FIVE YEARS. That's half a decade, more than enough. I'm tired of this site, I'm DONE with this site. It's done all I wanted it to do. Bye.

July:
A month many enjoy, it starts off with a literal bang of confetti, victory, and celebration. In July Americans and French celebrate in unison victory anniverseries throw fire works and food. Bastille day and Independence day are days held in great praise. Remember to enjoy them, and don't blow yourselves up everyone!

7-4-08
This is definatly a big one everyone! Happy 4th of July all Americans out there! This marks the 232nd year since the declaration of independence was signed marking the birth of America. I kept my fireworks simple this year. The big ones I will light next week when I'm at the beach. Tonight I light only tanks, trains, and mini rocket launchers. I can't wait until I release the big ones. On a different note, for those who play Runescape, it had it's third graphics set released just three days ago, the first graphic shift since 2004. Good enough to get me back on for awhile, but enough about that. On an important note, I want to remind any who will listen that life takes guts so when you want something you've got to go out there and get it. Don't be like me letting the person of your dreams leave unaware of your affection, don't let that person just walk away. In life you can learn a lot from those you open your heart to so find the best person you can find and set the bar at their standards. Don't date until you find the perfect person meeting that standard. Don't go after anything less, for any reason. Don't use your mind beyond reason. Use your heart. Your mind will bring rationality, while your heart yearns. You can't be happy using only your mind. Life requires balance. The mind can dampen an irrational heart while the heart can soften a sharp mind in all the right ways. If the person of your dreams seems unobtainable don't give up, improve your life and yourself and reach out to that person. Sorry, but there won't be any updates this month, or at least for today. It is almost midnight after all. I've begun my life this summer. I can't reach the girl I love until I make myself a better person. I got a job, and I got contacts. Soon I'll study and pass the permit. I'll practice driving and get my license during senior year. As I sign many times a week at work, FC out. See you all later, when I see you.

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