| she glared at him, her clenched fists ready to attack any moment... if only looks can kill, he'd be dead... what happened to him? was he yet another shameless bastard trying to wring some sympathy from her? yet another desperate soul soughting after her care and concern? was he just searching for a temporary shelter? then he'd come to the worng place... she would not allow deception, especially so when it comes to matters of the heart... she hated guessing.. why must she discover for herself what the hell he's thinking? for goodness sake, he had a mouth? were they only for consumption? she's drained thoroughly, from all those ambiguity and hesitation.. unbearable pain clinged on to her dying heart.. can she ever find what she longed for? can she ever receive reciprocated concern? can she ever trust in yet another human being? what is he thinking exactly? not having an opportunity to enquire, she's diminishing in courage... she was no longer bold enough to stand up and speak up to him... why then, does she dare stare at him, wishing she could kill him with her own bare hands? she's fuming... anger spreaded through her whole body, inside out... she's tired of all these... she's agitated at his ignorance... most importantly, she felt cheated, of the most precious thing... her heart. how cruel could he be, crushing her world with just simple disgusting coldness towards her? how irritating could he get rejecting to see her time and time again? how could he be enjoying himself with other girls when she's falling terribly sick at home? and why then, does she feel so deeply for him? not only she wanted to kill him, get rid of yet another useless bum in this world, she wanted suicide.. she hated herself for being so in love with him. she hated herself for worrying about him when she knew right from the start that he didn't even give a shite about her well being... she hated herself for repeated reminder that she could change him for the better with her true heart... all these to no avail... tiredness lingered... she had no time for rest at the moment... she had to finish him off... was she ready to do it? did she really want to do it? as much as she detest what she was planning to do, she already made the choice... everything shall end tonight... |
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