A string of posts that connect to eachother that I would like to call 'It all started with a little interrogation and a special lie dector test!

I found the following on a torn piece of paper that must have come from your
story.

'How can we know if they're telling the truth?, Cat purred to her companion.

Her friend thoughtfully stroked the letter 'S' on the buckle of her toolbelt.

"I've got it," she said a grin slowly spreading across her face.

Cat buckled the last strap and stood back to take a look at their captives.
Wesley seemed to have accepted the fact of his confinement, Spike however,
still struggled.

"If I get my hands on you bloody pair of bints, I'll ..."

Cat watched with amusement as her companion finished cutting the clothes from
the struggling vampire.

"Ready for the test, " she said tossing the rags that had been the two men's
clothing into a plastic bin.

"Test, " the naked ex watcher squeeked, "what test?"

Cat grinned, " we need to find out who the spy for the big bad is and we're
starting with you two. OK Shawn, lets hook'em up."

"A lie detector, " the blond vamp complained, " why do we have to be starkers
for a bleeding lie detector test?"

As the duo bent down to their tasks, Cat explained.

"We've come up with a more interesting place to measure your reaction. A place
where we're sure to get a good reading on both emotional state and blood
pressure."

Realization of what she meant dawned in both men's eyes.

Wesley jerked his hips, " could you warm that up a bit?" he asked.

Spike just smiled and relaxed, "luv, I think you'll need something a bit larger
than that."

Gee that's all I could find, I wonder what that was all about?

GP
next by gp

The Further Adventures of Cat and Shawn

Author's Note: Sometime back, I happened upon a torn sheet of paper
with a fragment of the adventures of a pair of authors/super heroes
in the Buffyverse. It dealt with a unique and interesting lie
detector procedure, which I transcribed and reported. Last night,
someone tossed another vignette about this delectable duo through my
open bedroom window. It was fastened by a strip of pink spandex
around what appears to be some sort of an electromechanical banana.
Again, I could only faithfully transcribe the following.


0

"What exactly has the question of whether I like chocolate sauce or
not have to do with the big bad?" the naked blond objected.

"I think it's a very important question, don't you Cat?" the
mistress of tools and toys asked.

"Very important," her companion replied checking off another item
from her list.

"Ok," she continued, "whipped cream, let's talk whipped cream."

"Bloody hell, "the blond snorted.

"I have something to say, "the other captive spoke up.

The masked pair turned as one to the darkly handsome nude trussed to
the other chair.

He hesitated a moment then cleared his voice, "is it entirely
necessary to apply so much lubricant to the , ah … connection, " he
said glancing down at his lap.

"I mean it's getting rather painful, the stuff is nicely warmed and
your hands are quite gentle, but there comes a time …"

He was interrupted by the other captive, "we're going to bleeding
explode if you keep slathering us up with that stuff, "he said
wriggling his hips.

The two girls looked innocently back, "it's just part of the
procedure, "Cat said.

"Yes, it's not as if we're enjoying ourselves, "Shawn chimed in.

All innocence and concern on the outside, the girls grinned inside
at the effectiveness of their teasing and the discomfort of their
two subjects.

"Now, the sooner we finish desserts the sooner we can get to fruits
and vegetables, "Shawn added.

Both men rolled their eyes.

"Oh, "Cat said pointing at the wires connected to their captives. I
think those joints are drying out again."

Shawn nearly choked trying to swallow her laughter, "here's your
tube and I have mine."

The men began to groan.

0

Wesley rubbed his wrists and ankles, "was all this bondage really
necessary?"

The pink clad pair nodded, and responded, "absolutely," in unison.

"How about me?" he blond complained. You let this bloody poof free
and I'm still tied up like a Christmas goose."

"Here's the problem, "Cat said pulling her borrowed duster tighter.

"Him, "she gestured at Wesley, "we can handle."

"You William, "Shawn continued, "are another story. So we're going
to let Wesley untie you while we stay out of range."

"Stop running on; just get me out of here, "the blond snapped.

"I'd suggest removing the electrical connection first, "Cat directed.

Obediently, Wesley knelt and started to work.

Shawn tapped his shoulder and held out a large tube of warm
lubricant, "maybe this will help."

Wesley rubbed the stuff on his hands and went back to work.

"Oh, you're asking for it now, "the vampire began to squirm.

"Still can't get it off?" Cat asked. "Try using your teeth on that
connection, I'll bet you could get it loose."

The girls flashed each other pleased smiles.

Wesley lowered his head.

"I .. don't .. think… that's…. going …. To ….. work ……, " the blond
gasped.

Then his eyes opened wide and he looked down as the dark heads as it
began to move in a slow rhythm. "But who gives a sodding damn," he
said as his body tensed.

0

Sorry folks, that's all that was wrapped on the banana. I think
I'll keep my window open again tonight.


Then Shawn stops the wicked laughing and looks around. She smiles as she
remembers what else happened later that night...The tale that was still
upon another banana that was in her tool belt...

Angel layed chained upon the bed. His naked pale body spread eagled.
Catalious known as the great Cat the Vampire Layer aimed her big flash
light to shine upon his dazed face...

"I...I don't understand these questions."

Shawnalious smiled as she moved closer toward him, her tool belt of sex
toys and other fun stuff jiggled happily with the movement. "How *hard*
are they to understand, Angel?"

Cat snickered, giving her sidekick and perverted partner in justice a
special look before saying, "Must be very *hard* by the looks of
things...I like this kinda hard, don't you Shawnalicious?"

"Hmmm. That I do. Answer the question." She said almost dangerously. As
dangerous as she could seeing that she was wearing pink spandex. How
dangerous could *that* be?

"No never!"

Cat looked taken aback, "Never answer our questions or never had foreplay
with fruit and veggies?"

"Never had sex with fruit and veggies." Angel said with a sigh.

Cat then looked at Shawn with a lifted eyebrow. Shawna kept smiling,
never losing her cool as she ran a hand down one silky smooth thigh.
"Calling Spike a lier then, huh, Angel?"

"He..He..."

Angel blinked in shock. Catalious smirked leaning down and rubbed his
other thigh.

"Told us?" Catalious said with a small laugh. " You bet your ass, he told
us. Every wonderful detail. We used a interesting and highly unique lie
detector procedure. We'll be happy to show it to you some time. But let's
talk about the cucumber that Spike used--"

"Alright! Alright, yes, but...but that was during a time when I was
Angelus. Okay? After that never again!"

Shawn took out a vibrator and some warm lobe. Angel's brown eyes got
large. "Never?" She asked rubbing the stuff lovingly over her toy. "What
about the...Banana?"

Angel swallowed hard. Cat looked at him expectly. A light breeze from an
opened window filled the room. Her leather coat ends moved elegantly
around her. Her bright 'SP' stood out proudly. In a whisper of bliss, she
said in his ear, pulling slightly upon the chains. "Yes, Angel, tell us
about the banana."

"There was never a banana! Wesley threatened me once, but it was only a
joke! A joke, you understand?"

"Don't get it." The super heros replied together. For a moment they
seemed to read each other's minds as they both smiled.

"Oh, Wesley!" Shawnalious shouted behind her.

Sounds of a husky, "Bloody hell!" was heard then the British man stepped
out of the heavy darken shadows. "You bellowed?"

"Didn't you say you used a banana upon Angel once?" Cat asked before her
partner could ask the question.

Wesley rolled his eyes. "No, I said I fantasized about using a banana on
him. Now can I go back to what I was doing to Spike. He's still tied to
the chair you know. I'm really enjoying what I'm doing--"

"I'm sodding enjoying it too, mate! Get back here!" Spike was heard
yelling from his corner.

Shawna shook her head and made a 'tsk, tsk' sound. "No." From her
wonderful utilitly belt she brought out her favorite toy of all. Her
electromechanical banana. With a smile of pure rapture she handed it to
him and then whipped out the bottle of chocolate sauce. "Don't have to be
a fantasy any more, my handsome rogue demon hunter." She then grabbed his
butt and gave a happy sigh.

Cat gave Wesley a encouraging nod and a thumbs up sign.

With a smirk Wesley went toward the bed. The chained Angel looked stunned
at the turn of advents.

"Um...Wes...What...What are you going to do with that banana?"

"Don't worry, the banana is your friend." Then Wes pressed his lips upon
the vampires.

From the corner Spike was heard, "Oi! What about me!"

Cat elbowed Shawna gently and whispered, "I'll take care of him."

"Have fun." Shawn whispered back, watching Wesley work his magic. Knowing
that later she would have to check off another idem from her list.

She never noticed Cat giggle and say, "Always do!"

Shawna blinked out of the flashback. Eyeing the opened window and still
wondering who had gotten her banana and threw it into some one's
window...She'd have to get it back at some point. Have to keep it from
happening again. Something caught her eye and saw the SP sign glowing in
the night sky. Once more the world needed smut. Needed saving and
naughtiness somewhere and where ever it was she and Cat would be there
with the chocolate! For someone needed to do it! With a leap
Shawnalicious was off...

Never to see a man step out of the shadows watching the bright neon pink
spandex wearing hero disappear from sight. He smiled as he threw a fruit
with a half finished tale into the opened window.

Humming to himself, Wesley walked away with a smile...

that was from Shawna

Eggs and Chips More Adventures of Cat and Shawn

Eggs and Chips
or
Are You Mad or Are You Just Glad to See Me?

The following was slipped under my door in a plain brown envelope.
To my surprise it wasn't my copy of (deleted by author) but another
C & S adventure. I checked outside the door, but didn't see anyone,
but I did hear some snarky laughter coming from the shadows.

"Of course you're free to go Spike, you always were, "Cat explained
to the unhappy Vampire as he pulled on the last of his clothes.

He gave the pair an angry glance as he rubbed his wrists, "I suppose
the bloody chains and straps were just for show."

Shawn grinned, "you just had to say the secret word."

"You never said sod all about any secret word, "he complained.

With a covetous glance at Cat's duster, he shrugged into his leather
motorcycle jacket, "Ok, just for giggles, what was the bleeding
secret word?"

Shawn leaned over and whispered something into his ear.

His eyes opened wide, "do you kiss people with that mouth too?"

Five minutes later, a disheveled Spike took an un-needed breath, "Ok
I give up, no more kissing questions."

Our girls just smiled as he straightened his clothes and put on his
jacket once again.

"I should have learned to quit while I was ahead by now, "he mumbled
to himself as he crossed to the door.

The spandexed duo looked at one another as he started to open the
door. They grinned when they heard it slam.

"Bloody hell, "he yelled as he stomped back into the room.

He stood eyeing our two heroes who were grinning like cats who'd
eaten a whole pet shop full of canaries.

"You cut down the bleeding trees and took down the awning, it is now
12 noon. There is enough sun out there to torch fifty vampires
before they could get ten feet."

"We just said you were free to leave, "Shawn said with an ill
concealed chuckle, "we didn't guarantee how far you could go."

He flopped down onto one of the two beds they kept in their lair;
their philosophy was that you never could have too many beds.

"Now I'm stuck here with nothing to do until sundown, "he said with
frustration.

He glanced up and noticed the width of the girl's smiles.

"But I'll jolly well bet you two little gits have something in mind."

Cat looked at Shawn and nodded.

"Now Spike, we know that you've exchanged your chip for a soul."

"Not sure if it was a fair trade either, "he grumbled.

"Well we've been thinking that the chip idea had some real
possibilities. With creatures with poor anger control, we mean."

"Poor anger control, he shouted, "me, poor anger control? If I had
my way I'd tear you…"

He stopped for a moment and then shrugged, "point taken."

Cat took up the story, "so if we could keep the anger control, but
get rid of the pain, it might work out."

Spike looked puzzled.

Shawn continued quickly before he could interrupt, "so we'd like you
to help us test out our new idea."

He sat back for a moment and then sighed, "what the hell, I'm not
going anywhere."

"Goody, "the delicious duo said in unison.

"First thing, "cat said, "is you have to take off your pants."

He stood up and gave them a crooked grin as he unbuttoned the waist
of his jeans.

"Why is it all your ideas seem to start with me taking off my pants?"

"Just lucky I guess, "Shawn answered with a giggle.

They had him lie down on the bed on his stomach.

"You know I feel bloody vulnerable down here with my bum waving in
the breeze."

"Shawnie, do you have the lube?"

"Check."

"Cat, do you have the egg?"

"Check."

"Wait a sodding minute, what egg and just where do you intend to put
the bloody thing?" he said with concern partially rising from the
bed.

"Not a real egg, silly. It's just one of our little
inventions, "Shawn said gently pushing him down.

He felt warm fingers then something slide inside. It wasn't very
big and wasn't the least bit uncomfortable.

He swiveled his head around so that he could see them, "Ok now what?"

"Make believe that you're mad, "Cat said.

He looked back at them calmly, "I can't do it on demand you know."

Shawn thought for a moment, "Wesley and Angel borrowed our lair last
night."

"So what, "the vampire said.

"They used that very bed that you're on now."

"Yeah, I already know old poofter gets after him from time to
time, "he said in a bored voice.

Cat leaned close to his ear, "it was the other way around, Angel let
him …"

"He didn't, "Spike shouted, "that two timing slut, letting some
little warm blooded…"

Cat nodded and Shawn press a button on a tiny remote she had hidden
in her hand.

Spike stopped immediately, he felt the most wonderful vibrations
coming from the techno twin's new device. It was so pleasant that
not only did he forget his anger, but he began to think about other
more pleasant things.

"I ah think I have to turn over or I might do myself a mischief, "he
said softly.

Our girl's eyes bugged out when he turned. They had seen Spike when
he was excited, they'd even had a little bit to do with making him
that way, but they had never seen anything like this.

"Shawn, "Cat said in a dazed voice, "maybe you should…"

"Over my dead body" he said as he reached out for them.

Two hours later, there was some tentative movement under the pile of
discarded purple and pink clothing and Cat's head emerged.

She peeked back under the pile, "is he still out?"

"I think so, "Shawn replied in a weak voice.

"If those batteries hadn't given out, we might have never
survived, "Cat observed trying to get her bearings.

That's odd, she thought, that looks just like Wesley over there. I
wonder why he's stretched out face down over that table.

As if he heard her, Wesley turned his face toward the bed.

"I came in just when you inserted the ..ah..device into Spike."

Cat's faced changed to match the color of her tights, "you saw,
gulp, everything?"

He nodded, "and you know, I ..ah.. have a pretty nasty temper
myself. Just yesterday an old lady cut in front of me at the health
food store and I almost said something. I gave her such a look. So
if those `eggs' are on offer?"


So that's the end of the story. Maybe they did have a second egg
and maybe Spike woke up and maybe Wesley got a little bit mad. I
guess all we can do is wait.

that was from GP

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"Not so brave now are we?" Spike teased as he ran his riding crop gently over the bright pink insignia.

Cat was in no position to complain, in fact she was actually in position number 22 known as the great X.  Her extended arms and legs were bound at the wrists and ankles forming a large letter X with her body.

Last time I'll answer our secret signal alone, she thought to herself as she watched the smiling vamp slowly circle.  Accommodations might be a bit uncomfortable but the scenery was pretty nice.

He'd surprised her when she'd rushed through the door.  The entire thing was a trap, he explained with pride as he trussed her up.  He knew she was alone and knew she couldn't resist a report of naked men wrestling in a tub of Wesson Oil.

The first thing he'd done was take back the duster she'd taken from him and used as a cape.  He'd stripped off his shirt first and now wore it open, the black leather perfectly framed his well muscled chest.

There was a sudden crash and Cat's heart jumped, it was Shawn.  She'd gotten her distress call and tracked her down to Spike's lair.

"Bloody hell, " he said with resignation, "just when Cat and I were geting started."

He slumped into a chair and Shawn walked over to the triumphant Cat.

"Another evil plot foiled, ' the bound bundle of beauty gloated.

"Unless, "Spike said a sly smile lighting up his face.

Shawn hesitated, "unless what?"

Spike rose and squared his shoulders, " my mate Wesley has got himself into a bind, literally.  He's in the next room tied to the bed.  I was going to go in and help him after I finished with Cat, but now..."

Shawn glanced from the dangling Cat to the closed door across the room and back again.

"Has, ah, your friend had any, ah, action lately?"

"Not for a dog's age, " Spike replied picking up the discarded riding crop.

"It would be something close to charity to help him out in his condition, ' he added swishing the crop from side to side.

Shawn sighed and started across the room, " sorry Cat, but you know what they say.  Charity begins at home."

As she dissappeared into the next room, Spike approached Cat.

"Now where were we?"

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!!!!!!!!!

"I can't believe you left me like that!" Cat the awesome one known by
many as Catalicious the Vampire Layer...Or was that Cat the Vampire
Layer...Something like that...

Shawna looked at her with a knowing smile. Her hands upon her many
wonderous toys tool built. She walked beside Cat as she listened to the
same rant for like the last five minutes. Though it started to sound
longer then that, but really maybe it was, seeing they didn't have
watches. Hello, they don't go well with spandex! Plus, with all the
spandex being thrown this way and that...Didn't need watches or jewerly
to get in the way.

"Okay, yes, I enjoyed it! But Spike's the one suppose to be tied to the
bed, not me!"

Shawnalicious wiggled her eyebrows. Cat continues with a glare at her
friend.

"Yeah, can't complain seeing how Spike used that sexy as hell tongue on
me after punishing me. He *punished* me, Shawn! For hours! Without
*chocolate*! And you! You, my side kick in smut justice goes off to a
tied up Wes! To have all kinds of smut fun with him!"

"Had to help him, part of being a hero." Shawna stopped for a moment and
winkled her nose, "At least I think that's part of it and plus, the whole
charity thing..."

"Charity my purple and pink spandex! You just wanted tied up Wes fun!"

Shawna gives her friend a look. Cat grinned and chuckled, "Which knowing
you..."

They start walking side by side once more...Lights from a cars
headlights, showing off the SP upon Cat's chest, before the light moved
away.

The two friends walk in silence for a moment. Shawna looks over at Cat,
her blue eyes sparkling...

"You know...Ya got to get Spike back..."

Cat smiled a pure evil smile, "Yeah, I do..."

Shawnalicious pats her shoulder before saying in a excited whisper..."My
new smut toys came in the mail today, there is a vibrator with these fun
rotating bally things, it's even water proof! Then this weird pear
that..."

Shawn continued to talk as the two friends continued on into the night,
together...

With thoughts of happy wonderful smut...And things to come....

!!!!!!!
that was by Shawna

Sorry, hee hee, that's the last of this crazy string of posts *G*.

Cat