Admissions of Guilt  (prolog then chapter 1 and so on)
Sequel to- Admissions
Author- Veronica
E-mail- [email protected] 
Pairing- G/W
Rating- G for now, does have nc-17 at a point,
Disclaimer- Joss owns all in the Buffyverse, I just use them like
Barbie's for my own twisted fun.
Spoilers- post Grave
Distribution- If you like it, take it… just let me know where.
Summery- An old nemesis is back, and is seeking revenge on Giles and
Willow.

Admissions Of Guilt

Prologue: Willow's POV


Time… what exactly does time mean? In all honesty, as smart as I
am, I could never figure it out. Is time linear? Is the beginning
really the end? Is the end just the beginning? Where does it start?
And, where does it end? Time is such a confusing concept. One second
your being told that you have all the time in the world… in the next
breath your told it is a precious commodity. Not much comfort in
those wacky words of wisdom.

I close my eyes and see such marvelous colours floating around
before me, dancing and swirling, perfectly in sync with one another.
Sync, synchronized, it all seems to be related to time. Wow…
something I've never really thought of before-not that this is
exactly the right time to think about it… or is it?

I once again open my eyes and see the faces looming before me.
Now I know why I shut them in the first place. I see the fear in the
eyes of everyone, but I really can't say that I feel any sort of
emotion right now. I wonder if that's normal? I don't know if it is
or not, but I'm quite content to not feel anything just yet.

Its amazing the things that go through your mind if you let it.
Weird things, silly things. I decide to close my eyes again to see
the colours I saw earlier, but it's different this time. Hmmm, again
with the time. Anyway, the colours are forming pictures instead of
the pretty swirling they were doing before. Too bad, it was kinda
relaxing.

I can't really make them out yet, but the colours are so vibrant
that it's almost breath taking. Its funny, cause right now its
nighttime (time? Damn), but they are so bright and vivid… its like
seeing them in the day. Wait a sec… second, minutes, hours. Why is
everything related to time? Can't seem to get away from it.

Is everything connected to it or something? I don't know, but
it's starting to tick (tock) me off! Damn! Wait, I'm starting to get
tired now. Mind is going a little fuzzy at the moment. (Moment… I'm
not even going to think about it)!

Okay, yes I will. I can't help but think about it, now that I'm
seeing the past play out before my eyes. Yup, there's me with tears
in my eyes… hiding that damnable yellow crayon behind my back! Have
I ever told anyone how much I hate the colour `yellow'?

No? Mental note… tell everyone I hate yellow. Oh, and there we
are in grade six. I'm helping Xander with his math again… which
really means that I'm doing it for him, again. Hey! There's Jesse.
He's helping me up off the ground after Harmony pushed me. I watch
him as he gives me a hug and realize that I'd forgotten about that
incident. He really was a sweetie.

I'm opening my eyes now, mostly to see if the others are still
staring me at. I can't say whether they are or not…all I can see are
the images from my past still. Maybe I didn't actually open them
yet. Oh well, let's just go with it.

Okay, more pictures here… this one has Giles in it. It's the
library… and the first time we met. He was so corny and sweet with
his stutter. No wonder I had a crush on him in High School. It's a
secret but, well… I miss the tweed suits he used to wear.

Now its Buffy… her first day of school, and she's asking me if
she can sit with me at lunch. Boy! Look at me… I was such a dweeb! I
dare anyone to argue with me on that one, cause frankly… it was
true, look at me. Oh wait, I am looking at me. Yuck!

Ick… College, and I don't look much better. Yup, me and Oz…
saying his goodbye's. `Willow, I can't stay here because of the
wolf' blah blah blah. Uh huh, been there- heard that. Sooo over it
now.

Eeeeew! It's the creepy `Gentlemen' things. Yup, trying to get
into the room after Tara and I magically moved the pop machine in
front of the door. Could've done without that memory. Oh hey… me and
Tara in snuggle mode. Funny. I should be missing her, but I'm not.
Wassup with that I wonder.

Okay… would like to have `NOT' seen Tara dead in my arms. Would
really like to move on to the next one now. Cool! Look at me go…
kicking Buffy's ass. Yay me. Hey, I'm actually a good fighter when
I'm motivated. Look at me! And all I did was up my strength to be on
a level with the slayer… the skill was my own. I'm impressed.

Oh, here we go… Xander's speech. Didn't need to see that again.
And just for the record, it wasn't the part about the yellow (stupid
colour anyway) crayon that got to me. He was willing to die by my
side, that's what did it. Didn't matter that I was causing it… it
was me he wanted to be with when the end came. That was so stupid…
can't help but love the guy. Or, at least, I did. Not sure what I'm
feeling now.

There I am… in Merry Old England. Such a beautiful countryside.
I tried telling that to Buffy once not too long ago, but she wasn't
really interested in hearing about that. Gee, go figure.

Now I'm lying on my cot, and Giles is sitting there talking to
me. Telling me stories about when he was young and in a rock band,
and his motorcycle. He was so sweet and patient… kept bugging the
crap outa me till I finally gave up and responded. And here we go,
the first words out of my mouth to anybody in almost two weeks…

"Giles… would you shut the hell up!"

Boy, that was original. Cute though… he didn't get mad or
anything, just smiled and said, "Its about damn time you said
something."

Yup… he's a card with the quick wit. HAHAHAHA! Hey, wait a sec…
did I laugh out loud? Sec… second, that damned `time' shit!

Wait, there's Giles telling me he loves me. I wish I could feel
what I was feeling when he said it. I can remember the feeling…
guess that's as close as I'm gonna get to it. Wow, that sucks.

Terrific! Here we go with what just happened over the last few
weeks. Really didn't want to remember all of that. Guess I have to
ride this one out too, huh. Figures.

You know, silly though… again. I think all time is, is a story…
in someone else's head. Yeah, kinda `Twilight Zone-y', but that's
what I'm thinking. I'd like to see someone try and prove me wrong.

Well, here we are at the big climax of this entire thing… which
means that this `life flashing before your eye's' thing is almost
over. `Bout damn time! Time… I'm really starting to hate that word!

end prolog

Chapter one


It had been an emotionally exhausting time for Willow and Giles
over the past week. Willow had come to realize that she didn't quite
fit in with the rest of the Scooby gang… not anymore. She did her
best to do the things she used to do, but the emotions just weren't
there. Simple things like shopping with Buffy and being shown the
new high school, held no joy.

At one point Buffy had asked Willow about England, which did
spark a little excitement with the red head as she told the young
blonde of the hills and green meadows that were full of flowers. And
she couldn't help but mention Stone Henge, one of her favorite
mystical places.

But the slayer didn't want to hear about any of it… she wanted
to know about the experience Willow had with the coven.
Disappointment flowed through the red head as she told Buffy of what
had happened while there, and that her magic was still with her.

Buffy was shocked upon hearing this and had quickly changed the
subject to something a little more in line with her expertise… a new
guy and Dawn's training. She had talked to Giles about her feelings,
giving her a better understanding. It was then that she had decided
to make a life-changing announcement… confessing her love to him.

Giles was totally stunned, which was not unexpected… but then
began to rationalize her feelings into something else. He had called
it the `Florence Nightingale Syndrome'.
Feeling defeated, Willow told him how long she had felt this way,
apologized and left him to sit and think about it.

She ran to the only place she could think of where no one would
bother her, the one place everyone was determined to put out of
their minds… Kingman's Bluff. And it was there that Giles had found
her, and in turn, confessed his own feelings for her.

And now, here they sit, waiting for the reaction of the slayer
after being told the news. All Buffy did was sit and stare,
desperately wanting to say something-anything, but nothing came to
mind as she watched her friend and her teacher standing hand in hand
in front of her eyes.

"Buffy? Are you okay?" Willow asked cautiously.

"Wha? Uh, yeah. Its jus-uh… Well, what I uh, mean is, umm…you
and Giles?"

"Yes, Buffy. Willow and I are in love."

"I need to sit down."

"Buff, you are sitting down."

"Then I need to stand up."

"Buffy…" Giles said in exasperation.

"But… your Giles, and she's Willow. That's not the way it's
supposed to be."

"And just how is it supposed to be?" said Willow, irritation
creeping into her voice.

"Your supposed to be, you know… just Willow. And you," she
looked to the former watcher, "Your Giles." Pause "I don't know! Its
just that this," she gestured at the two with her hands, "wow, you
know? I didn't expect… I never thought that… uhhh."

"I assure you, it is quite true. I love her, Buffy. I'm sorry if
you have a hard time understanding this, but it doesn't change how
we feel for one another." Giles replied as he gave Willow's hand a
reassuring squeeze.

"Whoa, hey! I didn't say I hated it or anything, just that… give
a girl a chance to get used to this. I mean, we've known each other
for over seven years now, and then, outa the blue… you know? I'm-I'm
okay, its just that I need to get… cause your, you know… and I uhh,"

Buffy, it's okay… really. We understand that it's going to take
time for you to get used to the idea of Giles and I being together,
we knew this when we decided to tell you." Willow finished as Buffy
gave a huge sigh of relief.

"So, uh… how long have you guys been, well…"

"Giles only just told me about an hour ago. Me, on the other
hand, told him a little before then."

"Sooo, that means I'm the first to know… right? Please tell me
you told me first?" the blonde almost pleaded.

"Yes, Buffy. You were the first person we've told. We thought
you deserved to be the first to find out."

"Oh, yay me!" Buffy replied excitedly as she clapped her hands.

"So, does this mean your okay with it, Buff?"

"Wills, its not that I'm `not' okay with this, its just gonna
take some getting used to, that's all. I'm totally happy for you
both. I couldn't have picked better for each of you!"

"You mean that?"

"Well, duh!" Buffy leaped over to the couple and gave them a
huge hug, backing off when Willow managed to squeak, "Need air…"

"Ooops, sorry. Hey, Xander's coming over in a couple hours! Can
I tell him about you two? Please please please?"

"Buffy, I think I should inform you that begging is not becoming
of the slayer." Giles said, and watched as the girl quieted down but
shoved out her bottom lip to pout.

"Giles, I'm kind of feeling sorry for her. I mean, how much more
pitiful can a person look?"

"You are quite right, luv. Buffy, you have our permission to
tell Xander."

"Yay! I knew the pout would work. Oooh, I can't wait to see the
look on his face when I tell him." She finished with rubbing her
hands together while a sinister little laugh escaped her lips.


Chapter two



A look of abject horror came over Xander's features as the most
unconceivable information known to man was brought to his
attention. `How could this happen?' he thought to himself.

"How could this happen?" he voiced aloud for all to hear.

"Its not the end of the world you know." Buffy replied.

"Not yours maybe… but mine has just shattered into a million
little pieces." He turned his attention to Giles. "But your
sooo `old'." He exclaimed. "Don't you think you're a little `mature'
for my Wills?" he looked to Willow, "Your latching… you've only been
back for a week and still trying to adjust to everything, and you
latched on to what was comfortable- your father figure." He
rationalized, "That's all he is, you know… a father figure."

"I am not `latching'!" fired the red head. "I love him… more so
than just as a father figure, and have for a very long time."

Xander knew it was a childish thing to do, but he knew arguing
with his best friend would get him nowhere… so he covered his ears
with his hands and chanted.

"I can't hear you, I can't hear you, I can't hear a word your
saying." Then began to loudly hum a tuneless song.

"See? This is why I didn't say anything before now. I knew this
is how you would react. Xander! Stop acting like a child… your not a
kid anymore!" shouted the red head with the hopes of being heard
over his humming.

Xander quieted and removed his hands from his ears.

"As for being too `mature', as you put it… I would ask you to
stop and think before making any such quips about our age
difference. Might I remind you about your relationship with a
certain demon? And as for being a `father figure', yes, I suppose at
one time that is what she thought of me. But even you have to admit
that we all have grown in one way or another, and things have
changed."

"But…" the young man looked so crestfallen, "she's my Wills."

"No, Xander, she is not. She is `my' Willow." Giles face
softened as he spoke to the brunette. "I promise you, I will take
care to see that nothing happens to her. I would never let anything
hurt her… you have my word."

"See that you keep it," Xander replied, "cause if anything
happens to her… well, no offense."

"Understood, and none taken."

"Hecate?" Willow's voice said softly, full of surprise and
wonder.

"Umm, Wills?" asked Buffy, but got no response from the witch as
Willow carried on a one sided conversation, causing the small group
to worry.

"Willow, luv?"

* * * *
* * *
*

"Willow." Came a soft voice slightly to her right. Willow turned
her head, and there stood a figure in a long shimmering gown of
white and gold staring back at her. Her golden hair was done in a
single braid which was draped over her shoulder and ended at her
waist, with silver strands braided throughout making it almost
sparkle with a life of its own when the light shone on it.

Her face was strikingly beautiful with its creamy white skin,
which set off her eyes and her soft pink coloured lips. Though her
lips were not upturned, Willow could see the smile in her cerulean
blue eyes.

"Hecate?" she asked.

"Yes, child… it is I. The time has come, and you are almost
ready."

"Ready for what?"

"I have watched while you abused the power that I bestowed upon
you, as I have watched you punish yourself in the aftermath of all
that you did."

"I'm truly sorry about everything I did, Goddess. I'm doing
better now though. I've been to…" but was cut off.

"I know all that you have done and been through, my child. I
have seen the progress you have made while in the care of my
followers in England. I have stood by without interfering, and
watched as you learned the tools necessary… something you should
have done when you decided to become one of my followers. You were
warned by the man you stand with, warned years ago… but his warning
went by unheeded."

"I remember." Willow replied, looking at the floor as shame
overcame her.

"Do not look away from me." Willow immediately brought her head
back up to look at the surreal being standing near her. "It is only
fitting that you feel shame for all you have done. But even I am
willing to overlook it. You have come far, my child, in such a short
time since."

"Thank you, Goddess." Willow said meekly.

"Yet you are still not at peace with yourself because of those
actions of the past."

"How can I feel at peace after hurting everyone I love, and
almost destroying the world? I-I killed two men."

"You know what you must do. It will not stop the hurt you feel,
my child… nothing can do that for you. But it will ease some of your
suffering."

"I must sacrifice myself."

"Yes, my child. Offer yourself to me, and you will be reborn."

"Where should I go?"

"To that which almost ended all, so will it bring forth anew."

"The Bluff."

With that said, the figure began to slowly fade, and her final
words sounded like a distant echo. "I await your offering there."

Willow stood silent and closed her eyes as she brought her hands
up over her head, and murmured to softly for the others to hear what
was said. When finished, the small group stood, mouths agape when
Willow's clothes changed from jeans and a t-shirt, to a soft white,
sleeveless dress.

"Willow! What the hell is going on? What did you
mean, `sacrifice myself'?"

"I'm sorry, Buffy, I have to go. Something I need to do." Willow
looked to Giles with a small smile on her lips. "Everything will be
alright now. You'll see." She said as a hand came up and caressed
the side of Giles face. "I love you."

"Willow?" Giles asked, unable to say anymore as fear gripped his
soul.

The red head backed a few steps away from the group as a wind
from nowhere came up and surrounded her like a whirlwind… and within
seconds she was gone. There was only silence as the three looked at
the empty space that was once filled with their friend.

"Willow, nooooooo!" screamed a terrified Xander.

Chapter three



The small group remained silent as they watched the young woman
disappear before they're eyes. Horror gripped each one of them, as
Xander was the only one to find his voice and scream her name.

"Willow, nooooooo!" The young man desperately looked to Buffy
and Giles in hopes of someone doing something… anything to stop his
best friend from doing the self-sacrifice that she had talked about
with someone they couldn't even see.

"Giles, you heard her, right? Was she talking to herself? Do you
think she meant what she said? We have to do something!" Buffy
finished, hoping her mentor could shed some sort of light on this
situation. She watched as Giles mentally shook himself, and saw the
gears in his head begin to turn.

"Yes, Buffy, I heard every word. And by listening to the way she
was speaking, I do believe she was quite lucid… she was talking to
someone that we were not meant to see."

"But, how could a Goddess ask someone to sacrifice themselves…
just to prove they're loyalty? It's just not right!"

"Buffy, if you look back into the bible… I assure you, it
happened quite frequently."

"Okay, ya know… I'm real glad you two want to get into some sort
of philosophical or theological conversation, but now is not the
time for it! My best friend just left and is about to kill herself
to please some God, and all you two can do is talk about how often
this stuff happens!" said Xander as he turned his head to look at
Giles. "You promised me you would never let anything hurt her… well
get your ass in gear `cause I'm holding you to that promise!"

* * * *

After the dust settled from Willow's appearance, the young woman
was able to see the horrid reminder of the monster she had allowed
herself to become not so long ago.

"You know what to do, my child. I am here for you."

"Yes, Goddess, I understand." She replied and closed her eyes.

She could feel the power rising up within her and forced herself
to relax. Arms held out in front of her and palms facing the
ephigee, she began to softly chant. A rumble from deep within the
ground told her that ephigee was doing as she wanted… the grotesque
monument was slowly sinking back into the ground where it belonged.

"Stop. You will take it no further."

Willow stopped what she was doing and opened her eyes, only to
see that the pitchforks that sat atop of the ephigee were still
there… totally exposed. Willow turned questioning eyes to the sky in
hopes of an explanation.

"It is a necessary reminder for you, my child."

"But, I don't want to remember."

"It is better this way… to remember what it is that sets you
apart from the beasts you fight. When you look upon this, it will
remind you that once; you were no better than they. It will also
give you the strength you need to make sure that this will never
again happen. It is the way I wish it to be, for you will need all
the strength you have… as well as from those around you." She
finished.

"I don't understand what you mean. Strength for what?"

"Tis not the time for you to know… but soon, my child, soon you
will be in battle, a battle for your very soul."

"But, who will I be fighting?"

"You, my lovely one. Never fear, for I am always with you… I
will be there when you need me most. You are never alone."

"But when will this happen? How can I fight myself? I don't
understand what you want of me." She said in a small voice, "I'm
sorry."

"In time, little one, in time. After all, time is like water,
and each ripple holds infinite possibilities. Each choice you make
causes new ripples to appear." Said the dis-embodied voice, which
only caused a look of confusion to cross Willow's features.

"Yes, I know you do not yet understand. It is connected to all
things, it takes and it gives, and bends with the flow of the tide.
It appears to run in a line, yet it also seems to run circular. You
mortals have this saying… What goes around comes around. Tis a
simple explanation, but quite accurate. Time… such an easy concept,
but one that is hard to explain to such an inferior race. No matter,
your race will figure it out for themselves one day."

Willow could think of nothing else to do but nod her head.

"You know what it is you must do."

"Yes, Goddess."

"I await your sacrifice. You may begin."

* * * * *

The three sat in the car as Xander sped his way down the streets
of Sunnydale, desperately hoping to get to his friend before
anything could happen. He was scared to death and didn't care who
knew it, but the look on Giles's face made it worse.

"Giles? Don't worry; we'll get there in time. She's only been
gone for about ten minutes, not much time for anything too bad to
happen." Said the slayer in the hopes of calming everyone down.

"Buffy, you don't understand. I can feel her emotions." He
stated as he looked to the blonde woman sitting beside him. "Within
these last ten minutes, I have felt a variety of emotions from her.
I've felt confusion, fear, and now…"

"And now what?"

"An almost tranquility has come to her." He said softly. Neither
spoke another word as Xander pushed the gas pedal to the
floor. `Cops be damned' he thought.

"Oh god!" was all Buffy could manage to squeak out.

* * * * *

Though she could see nothing, it felt as though someone's palms
rested against hers as she spoke quietly to the unseen entity.

"My pride and humility, my heart and my soul.
I am your servant, I am your daughter.
In your hands, my life do you hold.
From air to earth, and fire to water.
I give the purity of life, for you to behold."

Willow felt a warmth spread around her, as though someone was
wrapping arms about her body as if in a gentle embrace. And it was
comforting in a way she never thought possible.

"I accept your offering, my child, with happiness in my heart. I
will leave you now to continue what you must finish. Remember,
Dearest, you are never alone." The final words faded and the red
head knew she was once again by herself.

Slowly she turned away from the pitchforks and again closed her
eyes, and as she began to chant her body lifted from the ground and
was suspended about five feet off. So absorbed was she in what she
was doing, that she didn't notice the audience that had approached.

* * * *

Relief flooded the three of them as they stood there watching
the young woman as she began to levitate off the ground. Giles
recognized the words she spoke, and held off the other two from
going to her.

"It is a simple incantation. Sh-she is bringing back life to the
area she destroyed." He explained. "It is a renewal spell. Watch and
see for yourself." He said a little breathlessly.

The three stood in awe as they're gazes settled upon the beauty
that floated in mid-air. If it weren't for the fact that they knew
her so well, they might not have recognized her, for the way the sun
shone on her hair, it cast a fiery glow around her head. The
paleness of her skin and the white of her dress almost seemed to
glow with the rays of the sunlight. It was as though they were
looking upon the beauteous wonder of an ethereal being… not the
Willow they had come to save.

And as they watched, a yellow mist began to rise out of the
ground, almost like a fog as it hovered. They saw the colour of the
dirt change from a charred black to a lighter shade with grass
beginning to poke out.

"For that which I had taken, so shall I return anew. That which
I destroyed, so shall I give it life. So mote it be."

They stood motionless as they saw the entire thing… grass was
growing all around, and wild flowers making their way up to the
light, and rewarding them with the sight of their first bloom.

It was absolutely breath taking, and Giles couldn't help it as
his mind traveled back to England… to the place where he had first
seen her do this. To the moment when he realized that he was in love
with her.

The three watched as Willow smiled and opened her eyes to take
in the sight of what she had accomplished. But as she looked on, a
frown twisted her features… she couldn't take her eyes away from the
life below she had created.

"Something's wrong." Giles said, causing the other two to look
at the worried expression on his face, but he continued to stare at
Willow. Buffy and Xander looked back, not understanding what he was
talking about, until Willow's frown turned back into a smile. But
something wasn't right, the smile looked almost… sinister?

Hollow sounding laughs emerged from the red head's lips as
everyone saw that what she had just created, whither and die before
their eyes. Looking back to Willow as a scream escaped her lips,
they watched her fall to the ground in an unconscious heap.


Chapter four


The three onlookers ran towards they're friend, who now lay upon
the blackened earth. What had once been a vision of beauty and
wonder, now held nothing but death once again.

The former Watcher made it to Willow's side first, gently moving the
girl onto her back and brushing the hair from her face to check for
any sign of a head injury.

All breathed a sigh of relief when all they saw were a few small
scratches, but nothing more. Xander leaned down and gently began to
pat her cheek in hopes of waking the unconscious girl. In all his
years of fighting demons and vampires, this is the first time in his
life that he knew what real fear felt like.

"Wills… hey, c'mon. You gotta wake up." He said softly, and was
rewarded with a moan that escaped the red head's lips.

"Willow, come now, luv. Wake up." Giles almost pleaded.

Willow's eyes fluttered open and looked around in confusion,
wondering why everyone was staring at her… that is until she noticed
that she was lying rather unceremoniously on the ground.

"Willow, are you hurt? Can you stand?"

"I'm fine, Giles… I think. What's going on?" she asked as the
two men helped her up off the ground, causing her to gasp as she
took in the view before her. Where she stood no longer held any sort
of life… no flowers graced they're presence, not even so much as a
blade of grass. "But…"

"Wills, it's okay. You're going to be fine."

"Fine? You call this fine?" she gestured around her. "Look
around you… don't you see it? Everything is dead, there's nothing
here! No plants, no flowers… not even a damn bird! What the hell did
this!?"

"Not what… who."

"And just what is that supposed to mean, Xander?"

"What that means is… it was you." He replied, placing a hand on
her shoulder, which she quickly shrugged off.

"Your crazy! I would never do something like that." She
finished, and then realized what she said. "Okay, once I did do it…
but that was a while ago. And all of you know the circumstances that
were involved, but this…" she gestured with her hands, "I was trying
to make it right again. That's what she wanted me to do."

"What… and you call killing yourself making it right?" Buffy
said with a note of sarcasm, causing Giles to give her one of
his `not now' looks.

"Who said anything about killing myself? What are you talking
about?"

"Quote, `I must sacrifice myself', end quote." Quipped
Xander. "Sounds a little like `Hey there, Grim Reaper! Come on in
for a spot of tea, and while your at it, take my soul too!' to me."

"You know, guys, for the record… there is more than one way to
make a sacrifice without having to die." She said, mortified. She
decided to go on with the explanation when she received quizzical
looks from all around. "Things like sacrificing your pride, so on
and so forth?"

"You mean…?" But Buffy didn't finish the question.

"Uh huh." The red head nodded, "I came up here to make things
right… fix what I did. That's all. Create life, not take it… been
there, done that-got the memories."

"Well, it w-was an honest mistake, Will. We d-didn't know…"

"I know, Xander, and its okay. I'm, you know, a little freaked
out that you thought I'd try to kill myself… but I can see how you'd
all see that." Replied Willow as the group gave a huge sigh of
relief. "Lets go home, I can fix this again tomorrow." With that
said, the red head took a step, but stumbled, causing Giles to reach
out and steady her.

"Willow, are you alright? Are you sure you're not hurt, luv?"
Asked Giles, full of concern.

"No, no. I'm fine… just really tired all of a sudden. I guess it
took more out of me than I thought." She chuckled and leaned on
Giles for support.

"Let's get you home then." He said as he scooped her up into his
arms, and placed a tender kiss on the top of her head.

* * * *

The watcher carried the young woman up to her room and placed
her carefully on the bed, removing her shoes and covering her with a
blanket. He sat down on the side of the bed next to her and smiled
as he saw her gazing up at him with a tired smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, Giles… I mean Rupert. Its hard to get used to
calling you that after calling you Giles for so long." She said,
causing the older man to chuckle.

"I must admit, I too find it rather overwhelming to hear you say
my given name." He said as he brushed a lock of red hair from her
face and tucked it behind her ears. "And what, if I may ask, have
you to be sorry about?"

"For earlier today. I didn't stop to think that you guys
couldn't hear her like I could. I didn't realize that you would
misunderstand what was going on and what she wanted me to do."

"Nonsense. It wasn't a conversation meant for our ears… only
yours. And everything is fine now. No need to worry yourself over
what happened, it was an honest mistake as Xander said." He looked
at her a little more closely. "You, my dear, need to rest. You look
absolutely exhausted."

"You know something? That's exactly how I feel." She replied as
her eyes began to drift shut.

"Rest now, I'll see you later." He finished. Willow gave a
slight nod and closed her eyes as Giles softly placed a kiss upon
her lips.

"I love you, Giles." She murmured.

"And I you."

* * *
* *

"Okay, Giles… what's the skinny?" Asked Buffy when she saw Giles
make his way down the stairs and take a seat in the armchair.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, confused at his slayer's choice
of words.

"What happened? How did you know something was wrong before
anything happened?"

"Oh yes, that. Back when Willow was on her rampage, she had
taken the magick that the coven had imbued me with. Ever since then
I have been able to feel her emotions, as you saw earlier today.
But…"

"Go on, Giles. But what?"

"Buffy, right before the laughter and the death of the plant
life… I didn't feel anything. It was almost as if she didn't exist.
It was rather disconcerting I must say."

"Well, how far does this emotion thing go?" Xander asked,
curiosity getting the best of him.

"A few months ago, I could feel everything as if they were my
own emotions… I could see what she was seeing. For lack of a better
term, it would almost be like reading her mind… but more intense
than that. I knew what she thought, I felt what she felt." He
sighed, "But over time it has diminished. Now I feel her emotions,
but it's not as strong as what it once was. I suspect that in time,
even this will fade all together as well." He finished.

"Wow." Replied a dumbstruck Buffy. "You know, maybe that's all
this is. Maybe it is starting to disappear, just a little at a time."

"I suppose you are right. It's just that it's been such a part
of me for some time now that I have become somewhat accustomed to
it. I believe I will miss it when it does go."

"Would you like us to stay the night here? We could help keep an
eye on Willow."

"Thank you. Xander, but no. I think everything will be fine. I
do appreciate your concern however." He looked to Buffy. "I do
believe you have patrol tonight?"

"Yeah, I do. Your sure you don't need us to stay?"

"No, Buffy. Go on with you, both of you. It's been a rather long
day for everyone."

* * * * *

Unknown to the rest, a lone figure stood at the top of the
landing listening to every word being said. A menacing smile slowly
came to the lips of the young woman as her blue-flecked green eyes
watched two of the three people downstairs left.

"Oh, this is going to be so much fun." She whispered to herself,
then turned and made her way back to the bedroom.



Chapter five


After shutting the door, Giles slowly turned and faced the top
of the landing. Again, she was gone… he felt nothing. He decided to
go in and peak in on her, just to be sure everything was fine, but
halfway up the stairs he could feel her once more.

She was troubled, as always when she slept. This is when he felt
the most useless, knowing that she had the dreams of her dark times
and was not able to do anything to help. It was something she would
have to come to terms with, and all he could do is be there for her
until that happens.

He was loathe to the fact he could do nothing for her, and it
caused his heart to ache in such a way that he wished he could go
through this for her. She may be asleep, but she wasn't at peace.

He looked at her still form… even her face didn't show the
peacefulness that sleep would bring. Her breathing was even as she
lay still beneath the covers, and he walked quietly closer just to
watch for a moment.

With a soft sigh, he turned and left the room to allow her to
sleep… tomorrow he would talk to her and hopefully get some answers
as to what had happened earlier. For now, he decided to take to his
own bed in the guest room and get some sleep.

* * * * *

She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen… a true
vision as she slowly glided towards him. Her dress, a soft-almost
translucent green, billowed out as though there were a breeze
blowing against it, causing the front of the dress to hug her body.

Her eyes were a dazzling emerald green, and combined with her
smile made her appear radiant. She almost seemed to glow as she came
closer, with love shining in her ever-smiling eyes.

Giles found that he couldn't take his eyes off of her, not that
he really wanted to, and he extended his arm to her, hoping that she
would take his hand. A small sigh escaped him as she did so, and he
wrapped his other around her to pull her in close.

It was perfect; everything was perfect…and he was in love for
the last time in his life. He let go of her hand and ran his fingers
through the fiery red hair as he gazed into her eyes and whispered;

"I love you." And bent down to place a soft kiss upon her lips.
As they're lips touched, they seemed to almost melt into one
another, but surprise came to Giles as the young woman placed her
hands upon his chest and gently pushed herself away.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way," she said as she began to back
away. "But know that I'm always with you."

"Willow? Willow, what is it?"

"It really is for the best." She replied as her eyes went from
green to blue. Giles brows knitted together, trying desperately to
understand what was happening. "I love you."

Giles watched as the blue eyes changed to black, and had to
close his eyes and give his head a slight shake… but upon reopening
them, what he saw terrified him to no end. There stood Willow… but
not his Willow. Her hair had gone from red to a disturbing black,
and her green dress was no more as black leather pants and jacket
replaced it.

Horror gripped him and he found that he couldn't speak: and even
if he could, what would he say? His beautiful Willow had turned dark
and ugly, but even as this thought raced through his mind… he still
loved her. Laughter escaped her lips, causing him to flinch at the
sound. It was not the joyous sound he was so fond of hearing… this
was evil, foreboding.

"Long time no see." She said as she stared right at him. "Oh,
and don't worry your sexy little head about all this. You two will
be together again, sooner than you think." She finished and turned
her head to her left.

Giles looked in the same direction and saw… Willow? His Willow?
There she stood in the green dress, looking at her alter ego without
fear. Giles moved to go to her, but found a barrier of some sort
blocking his way.

"Willow!" he cried out to her. She turned to look at him, but
all he saw was sadness in her eyes.

"I love you." She said, and turned her attention back to her
darker self. Giles began to pound on the barrier, but to no avail.
He began to chant, reached a hand out… but it was still blocked as
he looked to the dark haired woman, only to see the smug look on her
face.

He was totally helpless as he watched the leather clad double
extend her arm, and a beam of red light shoot from her hand, totally
enveloping his beloved Willow.

"NOOOOOOO!" he shouted as he began pounding fiercely on the
barrier. Pain etched in her face as she doubled over and looked to
Giles.

"Re-member me." She said, and screamed in agony. But as the ray
continued to do its painful battery of her, he saw her straighten up
slowly as a look of determination came across her face. Words began
to spill out of her mouth as she broke out into a run, and wrapped
her arms around her double.

Giles was spellbound as he could do nothing but watch the two
figures… one fighting to hold on as the other fought to get away.
Suddenly there was a blinding light, making Giles cover his eyes
with his hand, but it only lasted a moment.

As he looked back at the two; to his eyes they seemed almost
paralyzed if it weren't for his Willow's lips moving. She looked to
the watcher as she finished her incantation, and not only could he
feel her love flowing to him, he could see it in her face.

Without warning, he watched as they blew up leaving no trace
that anyone had even been there.

"Willoooow!"

* * * * * * *

Giles sat bolt upright in bed, beads of sweat rolling from his
forehead as he tried desperately to catch his breath. He looked
around trying to get his bearings, when he realized it was all a
dream. A dream that terrified him so much, that he'd wet the bed.

* * * * * *

Her breathing ragged, she sat trying to calm herself down in the
hopes of getting her heart rate back down to normal. Deep breaths,
in through the nose, out through the mouth. Once she decided she was
okay and the trembling stopped, she got up and made her way to the
bathroom, turning on the taps and splashing cold water on her face.

She grabbed the towel off the towel rack and dried her face and
neck before looking into the mirror. She noticed the colour hadn't
quite made it back yet, but at least she wasn't shaking anymore…
that's always a plus.

Buffy went back quietly to her room and sat down on the edge of
her bed looking at the clock. `5:45am… what's the point' she thought
as she looked back at her pillow. A shiver went up her spine causing
goose bumps to appear… she didn't really want to go back to sleep
right now anyway.

"Okay," she said to herself, "What the hell kind of dream was that!?"

* * * * * *

Xander awoke bathed in sweat, and his heart was pounding so hard
he could hear it in his ears. He could admit it to himself… this
nightmare scared him to death. He waited a couple of minutes to
collect himself then looked at the time, deciding to wait a couple
of hours before calling Giles to see if Willow was okay.

The young man got up and went into the kitchen and began the
preparations for brewing a pot of coffee… there was no way in hell
he'd be able to go back to sleep now.



Chapter six


It had been a long couple of hours to wait, but when the time
came Xander decided to call Buffy instead. He didn't want to sound
like a paranoid idiot to the watcher if it turned out that it was
just a dream after all.

As it turned out, Buffy had the exact same dream that he did,
down to even the slightest detail. Both decided the best thing to do
would be to go and talk to Giles in person, hopefully without
wigging out Willow in the process.

At about nine that morning, they knocked and walked in to the
red head's house, only to hear the sounds of cupboard doors being
closed. They made their way to the kitchen, and sure enough, it was
Giles fumbling around. He turned to see his audience and stammered
out:

"I haven't quite figured out where everything is yet."

Buffy took pity on the guy and went to help him find what he
needed to make himself a pot of tea before sitting. As she looked
over the older man, she could tell he hadn't slept well last night
and hoped it was because of romantic festivities rather than the
nightmare they had.

`Eeeew!' she thought to herself, `Don't think that… don't need
the mental imagery.'

"Your looking kinda tired there, G-man. Will's didn't by any
chance keep you awake last night, did she?" Xander asked in a joking
manner, but in all actuality, he was fishing for information.

"What? No! No, she did not. Get your mind out of the proverbial
sewers, Xander."

"How is Willow this morning?" Buffy interrupted, "She feeling
any better?"

"Quite frankly, Buffy, I don't know how she is. I haven't seen
yet this morning as she still in bed asleep." He replied as he
noticed the serious look on the young people's faces. "Why, what's
the matter?" he asked, and watched the two look to each other. "Come
on now, out with it."

"Giles… its just that, uh, you didn't by any stretch of the
imagination have a really weird dream last night, did you? I mean
weird as in scary… about Willow."

Giles removed his glasses and squeezed the bridge of his nose
with his fingers as he exhaled loudly.

"I was hoping that it was just a dream, that it meant nothing."
He replied quietly and looked at the two before him. "Care to tell
me how your dreams went?"

"Well," Xander began. "I'd never seen her look so beautiful in
all my life… it was like I was looking at a goddess. She sorta
floated to me and smiled, then gave me a hug. I remember I felt
happy, it was like when we were younger, ya know? The close
friendship we used to have, it was like we had it all over again,
but then she pulled away from me and said, `I'm sorry its has to be
this way, but know that I'm always with you'. And then she said that
it was for the best, right before she changed. She looked like she
did in the spring… all black and veiny and the black leather.

"Next thing I know, I see Willow in the dress standing they're
staring at the other one. Then the scary one looks at me and
says, `Long time no see. Don't worry your sexy head about this', and
that we'll be together before we know it… or something like that.
Anyway, my Willow looks at me and says she loves me right
before `little miss nasty' hits her with some kind of red light.
Willow told me to remember her, then ran and grabbed the other one
and then they… they…" he could finish as a lump came to his throat.

"They exploded." Buffy finished for him. "She even kissed me… it
was like she was saying `goodbye' or something. Like she knew she
was going to die." She looked up to the older man. "It was the most
horrible scream I'd ever heard in my life… and that laugh." She
shivered as she remembered it. "I tried to go help her, but
something was blocking me… like a force field or something." She
said and Xander nodded profusely. "Giles, what does all this mean?"

"I assure you, Buffy, I do not know. But for now, lets just keep
this to ourselves. I don't want Willow to know anything about this
until we understand more of what is happening."

"More of what happening?" asked the red head as she entered the
kitchen, causing everyone else to gasp in surprise. "Geeeeez! And
everyone used to complain about `me' drinking too much coffee."

"Sorry, Wills. You just sorta surprised us, that's all. We
thought you were still sleeping." Replied the blonde slayer.

"Yeeesh, Will. You look like crap."

"Gee, thanks, Xander. I love you too." Said Willow
sarcastically. She didn't notice everyone flinch slightly at her
comment… the three words still echoing fresh in their minds from the
dream they all shared.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that you have
those little circles under your eyes and… are you sure you're
alright? You still look kinda tired."

"Yeah, and all of you look a whole lot better." She quipped, and
then relented. "Sorry, guess I am still a little tired. Nothing that
a nice hot cup of tea won't fix though." She said as she gave Giles
the puppy dog eyes. Xander watched as the older man melted and made
her a cup of tea.

"Whipped." Said the young man, only to receive a scolding look
from Giles.

"I said it before, and I'll say it again. Way too much time in
England." Buffy said with a snicker, which in turn made Xander laugh
and eliciting a scowl from Giles.

"It would seem that today is the day that not only I get picked
on, but my homeland as well." He said, and got snickers from the
other three.

"So, you guys didn't answer my question. More of `what'
happening?" she asked as she looked around at the others.

"W-w-well, we…" Giles stammered, then looked to Buffy for help.

"Its just that patrol has been really slow lately… and you know
what that usually means."

"Uh huh. Another apocalypse of the week. Any idea what this one
might be yet?"

"Nada yet, Willster. We just figured we'd keep our ears to the
ground and be prepared." Xander added.

"Oh, okay. Well, you know where I am if you need me to
research." She smiled at everyone. "I'm off to take a shower. Giles,
would you mind keeping my tea warm for me? I won't be long."

"Of course. It would be no trouble."

"Isn't he sweet?" Willow said to the other two.

"Yup, that's our G-man for you. As sweet as the honey that drips
from the hive and lands in the dirt."

"No more coffee for you, Xander. You seem a little more warped
in the head than usual today." Willow replied and left the room.

They three waited a moment until they heard the water running
upstairs and knew that she wouldn't overhear the conversation. Buffy
turned and smacked Xander on the arm.

"Really smooth, Xander."

"Hey! At least she didn't suspect anything." He said, but Buffy
just rolled her eyes.

"Look, now is not the time for this. I think the best thing for
us to do is just wait. Until we have something more to go on, there
is nothing we can do right now."

"Well, if you say so, Giles. But if any of us has another dream,
we call each other."

"Agreed. Now if you will excuse me. I have to be at the shop in
a short while. I will be going over the plans with Anya over the
rebuilding of the Magic Box." He said, then excused himself and left
them sitting there.

"Xander, I need you to give me a lift."

"Where to?"

"The Magic Box."


Chapter seven



The brunette and blonde opened the door to the Magic Box and
walked in, carefully making their way through the rubble laying
about the store. The two looked around in disbelief with what they
saw… it no longer looked like the place that had become research
central for the Scooby's.

"Hey, Anya."

"Yeah, hi." Was her curt response as she looked over the plans
for the rebuilding.

"Wow! Look at the place!" Xander said, causing Anya's head to
shoot up and glare at him.

"I don't need any reminders from you, Xander Harris. Look at my
store; it's a mess because of your little friend. If she had of let
me take care of the vengeance like she should have, my livelihood
would still be here. But nooooo. She had to go and do it herself,
and look what happened!"

"I'm sorry. It's just that I left before Willow did all this,
and this is the first time I've been back in since."

"Yeah, I know. Buffy had you saving two little geeks who
rightfully deserved to die."

"No one deserves to die, Anya." Buffy interjected.

"You know, Buffy, I really hate that self-righteous crap you
like spewing out to everyone."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I've seen more evil in this world than you could
possibly conceive of, and let me tell you; it wasn't demons or
vampires that caused it… it was humans. That's right, human beings."
She sighed, "You know, in all of my existence, I have never met a
demon that would willingly harm its own kind-let alone kill it. The
human race is the only one that would murder its own species just
for the fun of it." She finished as Buffy and Xander stood there,
not quite knowing what to say. "Demons-humans; they both live here.
In fact, demons were here first, long before humans ever were. So
what gives you the right to decide only demons should die?"

"Anya, we didn't come here to debate `right and wrong' with you.
We wanted to see how you were doing since we haven't seen you in a
while."

"That's because I've been busy trying to clean up some of this
mess." She replied. "Without anybody's help, of course. By the way,
this is the cleaned up version. Some of my supplies managed to
escape the damage, so I put them in the basement."

"Sorry about that. Hey, have you heard?" Xander said as he tried
to change the subject. "Willow and Giles are now…"

"Wonderful." She replied sarcastically, "When does she plan on
the next Armageddon so I can pencil it into my schedule book?"

"Anya, are you okay? You seem more edgy than usual." Buffy asked.

"No, no I'm not okay. I didn't sleep well last night; I had the
most horrible nightmare."

"You wanna tell us about it? Might make you feel better." Xander
said, both dreading what they were about to hear.


~Anya's Dream~


The sky was the most beautiful shade of blue, and not a single
cloud floated by to block the view. Anya sighed happily as a dark-
haired, very muscular man handed her a pina colada and another well-
built blonde fed her grapes.

She looked around at the other twenty-eight men sitting around
her, waiting to do anything she asked of them, and thought… `Life
can't get any better than this.' Then looked down beside her into a
huge silver bowl filled to the top with money of every denomination,
and rare coins; she couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips.

"Hey, Anya." She snapped her head in the direction of the
greeting to see Xander walking towards her. "Watcha doing?"

"Xander! What the hell are you doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing here? I came to see you. I wanted
to apologize for treating you so badly, it was wrong of me and I
wanted to make it up to you. How about forgiving me and taking me
back?"

"Are you nuts!?"

"Yes, I'm nuts… nuts about you. Nothing has been right since you
and I broke up." He replied.

"Your crazy if you think I want to be with you again. And as
much as I can't believe I'm saying this; there is no amount of money
on this planet that could make me take you back!" she said, and
watched with a smile as Xander pouted. Her smile faded, however, as
she looked a little more closely at his face. "Your nose is
twitching. Why is your nose twitching?"

"Anya, please take me back. I want to introduce you to the rest
of my family."

"I've already met more than enough of your family, and frankly,
I'd like to forget the entire ordeal if you don't mind."

"Oh look! Its my Aunt Cathy." He said, and Anya turned to see a
white rabbit hopping it's way to them.

"Arrrgh! Xander, keep that evil creature away from me!" she
shrieked.

"Aunt Cathy, I'd like you to meet Anya. She's the woman I'm
going to marry."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my dear. And might I add, welcome
to the family." Replied the rabbit as Anya's eyes widened in shock.

"Its possessed! I told you they were evil!" she said, then
looked to Xander and screamed. There he stood with two large white
ears, elongated front teeth, whiskers and a rabbits face, and fur
everywhere that wasn't hidden by clothing.

"What's up, my love?" asked Xander as he held a carrot up to his
mouth and began munching on it. An uncomfortable look crossed
Xander's face as he began to shift from one foot to the other.
Finally he leaned forward just a little and placed his hands on his
buttocks, and pulled on the material until it ripped. A small white
fluffy tail popped out as the young man sighed and said, "Ahhh,
that's much better."

"S-stay away from me!" and she began backing away. As she looked
around nervously trying to decide which way to run, she noticed that
instead of being surrounded by men, she was surrounded by little
white creatures with fluffy faces and twitching noses.

The terrified young woman turned and ran, arms flailing in every
direction.

"Honey! Hey, wait for me!" Yelled the young man as he hopped
after her, still chewing on his carrot.

* * * * *
* *

Buffy and Xander looked to each other in total disbelief. It
wasn't exactly the dream they were expecting to hear, and they
really wished they hadn't' asked.

"Ahh, your right… I do feel better." Buffy just rolled her eyes
and heard Xander groan.

"I'm so glad we could help there, Anya. But I'm afraid we gotta
get going." Said the slayer as she and the brunette made their way
to the door as Giles entered.

"Good morning, Anya. And how are we feeling this morning?" he
asked. "Oh, hello Buffy, Xander. What are you two doing here?"

"Nothing… just thought we'd check in on Anya since we haven't
seen her around for a while. Well, we gotta get going. See you guys
later." They said, and immediately left.

"I'm feeling great, Giles." Said a very chipper vengeance demon.

"Wonderful. Shall we go over the plans then?"

"You read my mind."


Chapter eight



Willow sat cross-legged on the ground and looked about. The
spell had worked, and everywhere she looked there was grass and
flowers; no animals yet, but that would come in time. It had turned
out to be a beautiful day; the sun was shining and a slight breeze
kept the air from being to hot.

A smile played across her lips as she looked at the new life she
had created, but was quickly replaced with a frown as she recalled
the words in her mind from the conversation with her Goddess.

`Soon you will be in battle; a battle for your very soul.'

`But, who will I be fighting?'

`You, my lovely one.'

Willow hadn't said anything to the others, not wanting to worry
them over what she didn't understand herself. She would know when
the time is right… Hecate told her this. After all, who was she to
argue with a Goddess? She would wait, and do so patiently.

Her shoulders slumped a bit and a yawn escaped her as she sat.
She was so tired lately; almost all the time. `Stress, I guess.' She
thought to herself as she tried to stifle another one. She had to
admit, the past few months have been pretty stressful for her and
everyone else, although the others seemed to be handling it better
than she was.

Between what happened last spring, her time in England learning
to control her powers and trying to adjust to life back in
Sunnydale; add to that, a new relationship.

"I guess it would be a little overwhelming." She said. "Maybe
some meditation will help." And she placed her hands, palms upright,
on her legs and closed her eyes.

The red head didn't stay that way long as she opened her blue-
flecked eyes and scanned the surrounding area. A sigh escaped her
lips as she smiled and stood, brushing any dirt off her clothing and
turned to leave.

She'd only taken a couple of steps when she stopped and said,
without turning around;

"You know, if you don't want to get noticed then you should quit
following so close behind. I'm surprised you haven't been caught yet
given your stupidity." She finished as she once again began to walk
away, leaving the robed figures standing there.

* * *
* *

"I'm telling ya, Buff. That dream still creeps me out every time
I think about it."

"I know, me too. But who knows… maybe it `was' just a dream. I
mean, Anya didn't have the same dream."

"Lets not get into Anya's dream, ok?" Xander groaned, and Buffy
couldn't help laughing.

"What's up, Doc?" said the blonde as she stuck her front teeth
over her bottom lip and made tsk tsk tsk noises like Bugs Bunny.

"Hey! That's not funny!"

"Actually, yes it is." She replied, trying desperately to hold
back more laughter that threatened to erupt, but failed in the end.
The young man couldn't help himself either and began to snicker as
well.

"Anya's nothing if not original." He said as he watched the
slayer wipe the tears from her eyes and trying to calm down. Once
settled down, Buffy took a sip from her mocha and looked to Xander.

"You and Anya… you two won't get back together, will you?" she
asked, and Xander cast his eyes down to the table.

"No, we won't."

"Mind if I ask why?"

"Because, because neither of us is ready. We thought we were,
but we weren't. Anya's never had the chance to get to know who she
is and what she wants, to grow as a human, and I… well I never had
the chance to grow up. Canceling the wedding the way I did was proof
right there."

"Yeah, but you have to look at the circumstances too. I mean…"

"I did, Buffy. I was looking for an excuse to get out of
marrying her, and when it presented itself- I took it. I wasn't
ready for that kind of responsibility and opted out when the
opportunity came along."

"But…"

"Buffy, please don't try and defend my actions. It's the truth.
I wasn't `grown up' enough to handle it yet. And lets face it… Anya
went from being a vengeance demon, to being with me. She never had
the chance to explore who she was or what she wanted to do, or where
she wanted her life to go." He sighed, "As awful as it sounds, I
think the break-up was the best thing for both of us."

"You still love her." It was a statement.

"Of course I do, and probably always will. Its just that `right
now', its not the time for us."

"I'm always here for you. You know that, right?" she said as she
took hold of his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I know. I have you and Giles, and of course, my Willster." He
smiled. "I have to say, I'm the luckiest guy in the world." But a
flash of red caught the slayer's attention walking by the window.

"Hey, speaking of the `Willster', there she is. C'mon, Xan." And
the two grabbed their coffees and left the Espresso Pump. Xander
looked around the street, having not seen which way the girl went,
but Buffy poked him in the arm and pointed in the direction Willow
was walking.

Both caught sight of the young woman and called out to her.

"Wills! Hey, Wills… wait up!" and both jogged to catch up to
her, as they received no response that she'd even heard them.

"Willow, wait." Said Xander a little breathlessly as he gently
reached out a hand and grasped her arm, but was shocked at what
happened next.

"Hey, get off me! What the hell do you think your doing!?" she
shouted as she spun around. Her eyes went as big as saucers as she
watched the young man quickly release her arm and hold up his
hands. `OH CRAP!' she thought as she forced herself to visibly relax
and placed a hand on her chest and smile.

"Whoa, hey! Sorry, Willow. I-I didn't mean t-to…"

"Wills, are you okay?" asked the blonde as she watched her
friend breath heavily.

"I'm fine," she searched her memory, "Buffy. You guy's just
scared me, that's all."

"Didn't you hear us calling you?" asked the young man.

"Actually, no I didn't. I guess my head was in La La Land. It
was just such a beautiful day, so I walked up to the Bluff and…"

"Oh, did you finish your spell?"

"Uh, yeah. I sure did." She replied, trying not to let the
confusion show on her face.

"That's great! I bet the Bluff is quite a sight better now than
it was before."

"Yup." She said, as she understood now what they were talking
about. "It sure does. A lot better."

"Well, no wonder your head was in the clouds." Buffy
chuckled. "So where you off too? Feel like some company?"

"I wasn't going anywhere in particular… just our for a walk,
that's all, nothing special."

"Great," said Xander as he and Buffy each took one of her arms
and looped it through theirs, and continued walking, taking the red
head with them.

"Yeah, great."


Chapter nine


The duo walked along the streets of Sunnydale with a reluctant
red head, who was wishing she were anywhere but with them. Window-
shopping was definitely not something she enjoyed doing, and it
seemed like if a building had a window, then the annoying blonde had
to stop and look in.

Just as they were doing now, looking in the window of a
clothing store while the blonde pointed out some articles that she
though would look great with her complexion. The red head paid
little attention as she eyed a mannequin. The dress it wore was made
of red silk, but the midriff was lace, strapless and very short.

"I like that one." She said as she pointed it out to Buffy.

"What dress? There's nothing to it." Xander replied.

"He's right, Wills. For what it leaves to the imagination, you
might as well just walk around in your bra and panties."

"Buffy, Please. I sooo don't need that picture in my head,
thank you very much."

"Sorry, Xand." She said, smiling sheepishly as she looked back
to Willow. "Uh, its just that… well, that dress really isn't you."

"Give me a break." She said, rolling her eyes. "Don't be such a
fuddy-duddy!" she finished as her shoulders began to sag. `Damnit!'
she thought as she realized that the body was draining fast.

"Willow, are you okay?" asked the concerned slayer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just need to sit down for a minute, that's
all." And walked away from the two figures to get to the bench just
up the street.

Xander took an arm and helped steady her until they reach the
bench and gently helped her to sit. "You don't look to good. Can I
get you something?"

"No, its okay. I'm a little tired that's all. I guess I just
need a small pick-me-up or something." But as she said that, a tall
brunette walked by and her eyes followed his movements
appreciatively. "And there it goes." She said with a giggle, causing
the passer-by to look back at her and smile. She sat up straight and
gave him an alluring smile while she twirled strands of hair around
her fingers.

"Will? What on earth do you think your doing?"

"I don't know what you'd call it, but here, in the twenty-first
century, they call it flirting." She said with a playful glint in
her eyes as she looked at the two stunned figures staring at
her. "Oh, what now!?"

"What do you mean `what now'? The `what now' is, what about
Giles?" Buffy replied with a little anger in her voice.

"Lighten up, Blondie!" said the red head as she lowered her
head and placed her fingers at the temples. `Not now!' "What the
hell is your problem?" but it came out as more a whisper than
anything. Slowly, she raised her head as her eyes scanned her
surroundings with a mixture of confusion and horror.

"My problem? What the hell is `my' problem? I'm not the one
making goo-goo eyes at some guy right after starting a relationship
with my watcher! Its more like, what the hell is `your' problem!?"
she finished angrily, not noticing what the young man had seen.

Xander had watched the look on Willow's face, knowing full well
she was trying to hide her… fear?, unsuccessfully. Something was
wrong with his best friend, and at the moment, he was the only one
who noticed it.

"Will?" said the young man, as he lifted her head with his
fingers so he could look her in the eyes. "Will, what's wrong?" He
watched as she tightly closed her green eyes for a few seconds
before opening them and responding.

"I, uh, I'm fine Xander. Its just, uh, a headache." She said
quickly. "A really big headache. I think I need to go home." She
said and tried to stand up on legs that were a little wobbly. Xander
took her arm and helped her up, then turned to Buffy.

"Buff, I'm gonna take Willow home."

"Fine, but I'm coming with you. This conversation is sooo not
over."

"Yes, it is." The young man sighed. "Please, just let me handle
it. Okay?

"But…" she started, but after seeing the look on his face she
decided relenting would be the best option. "You know… your getting
pretty good at the `resolve face'. All right, go on. I'll talk to
you about it later." She finished as Xander nodded and led Willow
away.

* * * *

He led her to the couch where she sat down gratefully,
wrapping her arms around herself as he sat down next to her.

"Care to tell me what that was all about back there?" he asked.
The girl looked absolutely exhausted… barely able to hold herself in
a sitting position let alone really answer any questions, but he had
to try.

The only response was a shake of her head as she stared ahead
of her, unwilling to meet his eyes. Xander sighed and pulled Willow
to him so that she leaned against his side with an arm around
her. "You look wiped. Take a nap, and I'll be here when you wake
up." He felt a slight movement where her head rested before she
shuffled a little, making herself a little more comfortable and
closed her eyes.

`What the hell is happening?' she thought to herself as she
remembered the angry look on Buffy's face and the concern on
Xander's, as well as the conversation the two were having.
`Handle what?' The last thing she could remember was being at
Kingman's Bluff; she finished the spell and had decided to meditate.
The next thing she knew, she's sitting on a bench downtown with a
mad slayer and worried friend. Did Buffy say she was flirting with a
guy?

Fear crept its way in as she sat there, leaning against her
best friend. She was blacking out, and saying or doing things that
she wasn't even aware were going on. `Should I tell? I don't know
what to do.' But darkness overcame her as she fell fast asleep, a
little comforted by the fact that her life-long friend was at her
side.


Chapter ten


He had held off as long as he could, but the two coffees he'd
had with Buffy earlier that day had finally hit bottom.

"Time to do my part for the planet and recycle." He said to
himself as he tried to move his sleeping friend without waking her.
But no sooner had he stood up and the phone rang, causing him to
make a run for it before the ringing woke Willow up. "Hello?" he
said. "I mean, Rosenberg residence."

"Xander, it's me. I-is Willow all right? Is she there?"

"Hey, Giles. Yeah, she's here and she's fine. Sleeping though.
Why, what's up?"

"Oh, well. Nothing then."

"What is it, G-man? Out with it."

"Xander, please stop calling me that." Replied Giles, a little
exasperated. "I was just a little worried about Willow, that's all.
Apparently I had no need to be."

"No, everything's fine here. She was a little tired though, so I
brought her home. She did that spell up there on the Bluff today, I
guess that's what wiped her out."

"Ahhh, I see." Said the watcher, but with a puzzled tone in his
voice.

"Giles, what's wrong?"

"I don't know… nothing, I guess."

"That's enough, I want to know. This is my best friend we're
talking about." The young man said sternly.

"Maybe it's nothing. It's just that, well, with the amount of
power Willow has; a little spell like that shouldn't have exhausted
her so."

"What do you think is happening to her?" he looked to the
sleeping red head. "She must be having a bad dream or something,
she's pretty restless right now."

"Yes, of that I am not surprised to hear. She is still having
nightmares about Warren, and about what she tried to do to you,
Buffy and I."

"But that was months ago… we're all okay with it now."

"Yes, `we' are. But Willow has a tendency to hang on to her
guilt, as you well know. I fear that this will bother her for some
time yet." He said to the young man, sadness in his voice. "I
suppose I should let you go. I appreciate you putting my fears to
rest some."

"No problem-o, G-man. I mean, Giles." He couldn't see it, but he
knew Giles was smiling at the other end of the phone.

"Will you be staying with her until I arrive?"

"Yeah, I'll be here. And don't worry, everything's fine." He
said reassuringly.

"Yes, quite. Thank you, Xander. I shall see you tonight. Perhaps
you would like to join us for dinner?"

"Hey, you know me… never one to pass up the opportunity for a
free meal." He laughed, causing the older man to chuckle as well.

"Very well, I'll see you tonight then. Goodbye, Xander."

"Bye, Giles." And with that, the young man hung up the phone. He
turned and quickly headed up the stairs towards the washroom. `Whew,
any longer and I would have been borrowing a pair of Giles pants'.
He thought as he shut the door.

When he finished relieving himself and washed his hands, he
looked at himself in the mirror. He just didn't have the heart to
tell the watcher of what had happened today, not wanting to worry
the man any more than he already was. He didn't want anyone to know
how he really felt towards the man but Giles felt like a father to
him and he loved the watcher for it.

He splashed cold water on his face and dried himself off with a
towel, and looked back once again into the mirror. `Damnit! This
just isn't right!' he thought to himself. He hated keeping secrets.
But the young man knew Willow, inside and out; and today she was
different. She was not the girl he grew up with. Giles had said,
before taking her to England, that she might never be the same, and
he was right.

When she came back she was quieter, wasn't as quick to join in
anything and even her interest weren't quite the same either. But
these changes were small, easy to get accustomed to.
But the girl he had seen today; forceful and down right snarky. This
was not his friend.

At least, not until he saw an abrupt change within seconds. She
looked confused and almost scared to death, and had quickly tried to
hide it. But she wasn't fast enough; he had seen it.

He made his way back down the stairs and stopped to watch her
sleep.

"This is more going on with you than just a dinky little spell
tiring you out." He said quietly. "What is going on with you?" he
shook his head in frustration. "The dream and now this. I don't know
what's happening yet, but I `will' find out." He promised himself,
and went to the kitchen to find something munch on while he waited
for Giles to get home.


Chapter eleven


Giles pulled into the lane way, got out of the car and made his
way to the door. He stopped briefly to compose himself, and then
plaster a smile on his face before walking in the door. He had not
wanted to worry Xander when he had spoke to him earlier on the
phone, but something had not felt right.

At first, for a good hour or so, he had not been able to feel
her, then in a flash he felt her fear. Fear over what he did not
know, and wasn't quite sure how to go about finding out without
upsetting her… or Xander for that matter. He knew Xander was worried
about her enough as it was because of the dream they had all shared,
so he saw no need to give him any more cause to increase it.

Giles did not want to admit it to anyone, least of all to
Xander; but he rather thought of the young man as a son. He was
fiercely loyal, and would bend over backwards for any of them if he
needed too. `Fine traits for someone so young.' He thought. Xander
was annoying when he'd first met him… `But he kind of grows on you;
much like a fungus.' He chuckled at this thought.

Giles opened the door and went in, and the smile he wore was
real as he saw two happy faces smiling back him. Willow jumped up
and ran to him, enveloping him in a huge hug, which he was only too
happy to return.

"I made some dinner. Hope your hungry." She said, eyes twinkling.

"I have to say that I am quite famished. So, luv, what are we
having?"

"I hope you don't mind `Lumberjack' stew?" she asked hopefully.

"Sounds wonderful." He replied as Willow took his jacket and
went to hang it up in the closet. As she did so, he made his way to
Xander in the kitchen. "Well, she certainly seems to be in a joyous
mood."

"Yup, she is. That nap this afternoon seemed to really perk her
up."

"I'm glad to hear that. I'm afraid her energy level has been a
little off for at least a couple of weeks. At first I attributed it
to being nervous about coming back to Sunnydale. She was scared of
what all of you thought about her. Then the flight, plus adjusting
to being here again. It's enough to drain anyone, but…" he let the
sentence trail off as Willow walked in and went to the stove.

"I hope your hungry, Rupert. I made lots." She said as she
scooped out a bowl and placed it on the table.

"It smells absolutely wonderful." He said, sitting himself down
at the table and watching her beam in delight at his compliment.

"There's some tea biskets in the basket on the table. I didn't
know if you'd prefer those or crackers; so I also put crackers in
the basket too." She said as she set down a bowl for Xander and then
herself.

Giles watched as Willow went back to the counter and pick up a
teacup, causing a wide smile to spread across his lips.

"Ahhh, you've made tea."

"Well, don't be silly. Of course I did." She replied as she set
the cup down. As he looked in the cup, his brows drew together when
he noticed the tea was not the right colour. Even the smell was
different.

"Uh, Willow?"

"Yes, Rupert?"

"The tea; I-its green."

"That's because it's Green Tea, and its much better for you."

"B-but I rather fancy the Earl Grey." He said, but at his words
Willow looked a little crestfallen so he quickly back peddled. "But
that's quite alright. I wouldn't mind the idea of trying something
new. Don't judge unless you've tasted. Isn't that right, Xander?" he
looked to the young man for back up.

"Whipped." Was the reply, with his usual goofy grin.

"Oh, do shut up!"

Willow snickered and handed Xander a soda, then set down a
bottle of water for herself. All three dug in to the soup hungrily,
but after a few chews Giles and Xander paused. They looked at each
other for conformation, and then looked to Willow-who was very
obviously enjoying her meal.

Not wanting to upset her, they began to chew once again, albeit
much slower and with less gusto than before. It took everything they
had just to swallow each bite that they put into their mouths. A
short time later Willow got up and scooped herself another bowl and
sat down, looking at the other two.

"You know, for two `famished' people, you both are eating
awfully slow." She said. Xander's head snapped to Willow,
desperately trying to think of something to say, when Giles replied.

"Just savoring each delicious bite, luv." He said, and Xander
looked totally greatful to the older man.

"Yeah, don't wanna eat too fast. Could either fill me up or make
me sick. So I opted for eating a little slower, then I can have
another bowl. Please pass the basket." She seemed to accept this and
handed the young man the basket-which he quickly dug into.

He grabbed a handful of crackers and crushed them into his soup,
then began eating again. Giles saw this and made a gesture to the
basket, which Xander passed to him. Giles immediately dug in and
took a tea bisket and buttered it.

"How did you know I love tea biskets?" he asked as he bit into
it, and then started stuffing it into his mouth only to grab another.

"I didn't. Just made them to go with the stew. Now that I know,
I'll make them more often for you."

"That is quite considerate of you." He replied. But after the
fourth bisket he stopped eating and turned to Willow. "It appears,
my dear, that I stuffed myself. I find I cannot resist your tea
biskets, and gorged myself on them. I-I'm afraid I'm too full to
finish your lovely stew. I'm sorry."

"That's okay." She said happily. "That means there will be
enough left over for dinner tomorrow night too." And she took his
bowl to the sink, while Xander gave Giles a dirty look.

"I'm full too."

"Oh Xander. I think you could finish up the last couple of bites
you have left." She admonished. Xander glared at Giles as the older
man snickered at his predicament. Xander scooped the last few
spoonfuls into his mouth and held up his bowl.

"I fiwissed." He said with a mouthful of food.

"Xander! Please, do use your manners and don't talk with your
mouth full." Said Giles, only to receive a scowl and a fist shaking
in the air. Willow took the bowl as the young man did his best to
chew and swallow his food; once done, he took a huge gulp of his
soda, making sure to swish with it first.

"Giles, you haven't touched your tea yet." Said Xander with a
smirk. "Willow made it just for you, ya know."

"Take a sip and tell me what you think. I kinda like it myself."

"Of course, dear." And he picked up the cup and sipped. It took
every ounce of willpower he had not to screw up his face. "Its
delightful."

"You really like it? I'm so relieved. I'll start buying that
kind from now on. It really is good for you, much better than the
Earl Grey."

"Yes, but please! Don't stop buying the Earl Grey. It would be
nice to drink every now and again."

"I don't see any harm in that. Besides, I know how much you like
that tea. Just promise me that you'll drink the green tea too
sometimes instead."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you." He replied.

"Now that that's settled, I have dishes to do. Why don't you two
go into the living room and relax. I'll join you in a little bit."

"Yes, I would like that." He said and the two stood up to leave,
causing Xander to speak up.

"Don't forget you're tea, G-man." He snickered.

"Yes, how silly of me. Thank you for reminding me, Xander."

"Oh, think nuthin of it. Just happy to help."



Chapter twelve



She was near to exhaustion as she entered the shop and made her
way to the counter and placed her order. The Espresso Pump wasn't a
long distance from her place, and should be easy to walk to, as she
had done many times over the years; but now, even a small trip down
the block tired her out. Something was draining her energy-but what?

The red head was worrying more and more; and rightly so. The
blackouts came more often, and lasted longer than when they had
first started. So far, it had only happened while with her friend's
once-as far as she knew. All of a sudden finding herself in a
different part of the house, or somewhere on the streets with no
memory or explanation as to how she got there; it was really
beginning to wear on her nerves and it was taking everything she had
not to snap at everyone.

"Your turn to buy again? Don't your study buddies ever buy?"
asked the young woman behind the counter as she took the money and
counted out the change.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Actually, one of the girls is paying for this
round. I just happened to get elected to go and get them." Lied
Willow with a shrug. The women shook her head and handed Willow the
change, as well as push the coffee tray forward.

"The two with the ice cubes is marked on the lids."

"Thanks." And she grabbed the coffees and made her way out the
door. Down the street a ways, she sat down on a bench, removed the
lid off one of the paper cups and quickly gulped it back. Giving
herself a couple minutes, she then removed the lid of the second cup
and did the same, thankful for the ice cubes that allowed her to
drink the coffee the way she did.

She sat back and tried to let herself relax a little as she
watched people walking along the streets, totally oblivious to the
real dangers around every corner. She should know; it wasn't that
long ago she was the one to be afraid of. She wondered how an entire
town wouldn't see the things that go on, how they could be so blind
as to not to notice.

Then she realized, she'd lived here for fifteen years before she
discovered that what goes bump in the night really does go bump; or,
more like `thud', with a little ignored screaming thrown into the
mix. Yeah, it's truly amazing what you can make yourself believe or
ignore if you try hard enough.

She decided it was time to pick herself up and get home; `Sun
will be setting soon.' She thought as she popped the top on her
third coffee, stood up and walked down the street sipping away,
hoping it wouldn't be too long before the sugar and caffeine took
effect. This had become her new routine, drinking as much coffee as
she could, and eating chocolate. It was becoming a necessity lately.

Although, she was beginning to wonder if it was helping at all.
For this past week, everyone seemed to be paying closer attention to
her. No one said anything to her, but maybe they were catching on
that something wasn't right, and that she was trying to hide it.
When she returned to Sunnydale two weeks ago, she knew it would take
a while for all of them to adjust to her again. And just when things
seemed to be getting back on track, out of the blue it started.

She almost never had any time to herself anymore; there was
always someone there with her. Whether it was Xander or Buffy, it
didn't matter. Giles was staying with her at her parent's house, so
that couldn't exactly be helped; but still. If it weren't for
sneaking out to get coffee at the `Pump', she'd never have any peace.

It was hard keeping up the façade that nothing was wrong; no
blackouts, and back to her energetic self. But for how much longer
she could keep this lie going, she didn't know. But she did know
that she couldn't put it off too much longer; soon she'll have to
tell them what's happening to her-not that she even understood it
herself yet.

* * * *

Willow walked in the front door and could smell an inviting
aroma wafting in from the kitchen. Giles had heard the door shut and
peeked his head around the doorframe.

"Ahhh, your back." He said.

"Hi, Rupert." She said and sniffed. "You cooked dinner <pause>
again." And with that, Giles noticed she didn't exactly sound all
that enthused about it.

"Uh, yes I did. I hope your hungry." He replied, wondering how
to handle this. "Is there something wrong?"

"I-it's just that, well you've cooked all week and I was hoping
to cook for you. You know, more than just the once. I guess I'm
being a little petty, aren't I?"

"Oh, I see." He commented. "I-I didn't realize that you felt
that way. I'm sorry, luv. It's just that it has been so nice to
prepare a meal for someone else after so many years of having no one
to do this for but me. I guess I've gotten a little too carried
away." He finished, looking to the floor.

"Oh, Rupert. I'm so sorry. I didn't really think about it that
way." She said, "That's so sweet of you, really!" she said, putting
him at ease. Her reward was a bright smile that threatened to make
her knees to go weak. She walked over to him and gave him a huge hug
and a kiss on the cheek.

"Here, you sit while I finish with dinner." He said, as he
pulled away and gestured to a chair for her to sit, and made his way
back to the oven. "So, where did you get to today?"

"No where special. Just took a walk around, then went to the
coffee shop."

"Well, I must say, you had picked a rather nice day for it. Not
too hot, nor too cold."

"How are the plans coming along with the Magic Box?"

"Wonderful! Anya's quite excited about it. We were finally able
to agree on a set of blue prints that we were shown, and the
rebuilding will begin next week."

"That sounds exciting! How long will it take to do?"

"Well, the main part of the structure isn't really damaged, but
we are going to do a little expansion on it. So the back room where
Buffy normally trained will be torn down, allowing for a larger room
to replace it, and we'll be adding a second storey to it as well.
The room will be used for training-as always, but the room above
will be used more as an office. Purchasing products and filing and
what-have-you."

"Wow! I can't wait to see how it turns out." She said with
enthusiasm.

"I would show you the blue prints, but Anya wanted to keep them
for herself. She's anxious to get started as soon as possible. I
must say, she was quite unhappy that they would not start
construction tomorrow."

"Knowing Anya, she'll sleep with it under her pillow." Both
couldn't help laughing at Willow's comment as Giles brought over two
plates and placed them on the table.

"I hope you like pot roast?" he asked.

"Mmmm, smells great!" she said as she cut a small piece of meat
and placed it in her mouth. "And it tastes even better than it
smells." But as she chewed a sharp pain hit her temple causing her
to flinch slightly and close her eyes.

"Willow, are you alright?"

"No, no. I'm fine, just a headache." She said as she looked up,
but a movement outside the window caught her attention.

"Would you like me to get you some aspirin?"

"Yes, would you please?" she smiled at him thankfully as he got
up from the table.

"I shant be more than a minute, luv." He said, but once he left
the room, the red head got up from the table and quickly made her
way to the door and stepped out.

"I told you morons to be more discreet! If you can't hide better
than this, then you deserve to be caught and killed! Or maybe I
should just do it myself!" she hissed, and the two robed figures
backed away and hid in the bushes. "Good help is so hard to find
these days." She said to herself and went back to the table and sat
down again.

"Here you are." He said as he handed her the tablets. "Would you
like some water to wash those down with?"

"You know, I'm actually feeling much better." She said, as her
blue-flecked eyes scanned his form appreciatively. "I'm also not all
that hungry anymore," and with that, she gave him a seductive
smile, "for food that is."

She stood slowly and pressed her body against Giles, and wrapped
her arms around him, with one hand finding its way to his head and
tangling its fingers in his hair. The red head pulled his head to
hers and kissed him hungrily, eliciting no struggle from Giles at
first. But the older man regained his senses quickly and gently
pushed her back, looking into her eyes and drawing his brows
together slightly.

"Willow? Your eyes."

"Yeah, what about them?" she said impatiently.

"I've never noticed the blue flecks in them before. Have they
always been like that?"

"I guess it just depends on what kind of mood I'm in." she
snickered, "Now, where were we?" and she leaned in to kiss him
again, but he held her back. "Now what?"

"You do realize that this will change things." It was a
statement, and he couldn't help notice the astonishment in her eyes.

"You mean we…" But she didn't finish the question. `Damn!' she
thought, `They haven't even bedded each other yet! SHIT!' "Yes, I
realize this will change things for us, but I'm ready for that.
Change is a good thing, if it brings us closer together." She said,
and seeing the acceptance in the man's face she knew she said the
right thing. 'Yeah, I'm good.'

Giles took her hand in his and led them upstairs to his room,
but as he turned to shut the door, he didn't notice the sinister
smile that came to the young woman's lips.


Chapter thirteen


She lay there quite contentedly for some time after the older
man fell asleep, pondering the feelings she was now experiencing.
New feelings. She turned her head to gaze upon the man lying beside
her as he softly snored. He truly is an attractive man; she could
have done much worse. His body was well toned for a man of his age,
and his face had a slight ruggedness about it, even in slumber.

She carefully removed herself from the bed and quietly walked to
the door, stopping a moment to take another look at him before she
left the room and closed the door.

* * * * *

The steam rose and filled the bathroom from the heat of the
water spraying from the showerhead. It was really quite
invigorating. She stood with her hands flat against the wall with
her head bowed, allowing the spray to hit the back of her head and
run off. Never before has she felt this way about anyone, and it was
confusing.

The young woman was used to taking what she wanted-when she
wanted. But this man gave himself to her willingly. She had
initiated a frantic pace, taking possession of his lips and trying
to tear his clothing off, but he would not have it.

Instead, he stopped her. When she opened her mouth to protest he
quickly placed a finger on her lips to silence her and said;

"Please. Just let me love you." With that, he ran his finger
from her lips over her cheek in a soft, tender caress. Drawing her
close to him, he placed his lips upon hers and softly kissed her.
Her lips parted, letting his tongue in to explore, eliciting a soft
moan from the red head.

She allowed Giles to take the lead, to be the master of her body
as his hands slid down her back until they found the hem of her
shirt. He then took hold of it and slid it up as she raised her
arms, letting him remove it and dropping it to the floor. The kiss
stopped and she opened her eyes, but she could form no words in her
throat as his gaze held her spellbound.

Giles lowered his eyes to her breasts, and marveled at their
perfection as he took one of the small globes into his hand and
began to rub it, causing the nipple to press itself against the
offending material that was housing it.

He watched as her eyes glazed over and close at his touch, and
moved the material away to let his fingers touch her without
obstructions. He brought his head down and took the nipple in his
mouth and began to suckle. The red head dropped her head back and
moaned as waves of pleasure came over her.

His tongue teased, his teeth nipped softly as he undid the bra
and pulled it off her shoulders, letting it fall uncaring to the
floor. He then pulled back and removed his own shirt as she watched,
marveling at his muscular chest, the sandy coloured hair that
covered it. She couldn't help herself and reached out to run her
fingers through the hair, to feel the softness of it.

Giles leaned in and kissed her as he scooped her up in his arms
and walked to the bed, gently laying her down on her back. He parted
from her once again as he undid her pants and pulled them off, as
well as her panties. He then shed himself of his offending clothes
and her eyes widened at the whole sight of him.

He was beautiful, and as she looked into his eyes, she could see
the promise of wondrous things to come. He moved towards her, and
before she knew it, he was above her-covering her with his body. She
could feel his arousal as it lay against her, teasing her; and all
she knew at that moment was that she wanted more-wanted him.

He moved so that he lay beside her, letting his hand have the
freedom to move over her entire body. They caressed every inch of
her, exploring, savoring, and memorizing the way she felt. Then his
fingers found the tuft of hair between her thighs, and gently parted
her legs.

She was lost in the sensations he made her feel. She hadn't even
realized that he had parted her legs until his fingers were upon
her, the palm of his rough hand rubbing against her. He then slipped
a finger inside of her and she began to move uncontrollably, moving
her hips to match each stroke.

As his fingers continued they're ministrations, he kissed her
neck and made his way up to the side of her face and then to hear
ear.

"You are truly magnificent." He whispered to her.

While his finger worked its magic, his thumb began to rub her
nubbin, and he pulled his head away to watch the ecstasy in her face
as he took her over the edge. But as her body shuddered, he could
take no more and moved to position himself atop her. This was the
moment he had waited so long for; to be one with her.

He leaned down and kisses her mouth hungrily and slowly sank
into her, a moan escaping his mouth as her warmth surrounded him. He
moved soft and slowly at first, remembering that this is the first
time her body has felt a man inside in years.

But it didn't take long for her to adjust to his size and he
found he was drowning in the sounds of her pleasure. His strokes
became quicker and harder, but the more sounds she made, the more
excited he got. He was close and he knew it, and the pressure was
building.

He sped up the motions, going at a frantic pace as she called
out.

"Ooooh, GILES!"

He blinked, but was too close; he couldn't stop as he poured his
essence into her. It seemed like an eternity before they're bodies
ceased it's shuddering, and Giles looked into the face of the woman
below him, the woman he loved.

She looked back at him with such tenderness, he smiled and
rolled off, pulling her into his arms and cradled her. She rest her
head on his chest and sighed contentedly as he stroked her hair.

It was the first time they had been intimate with each other,
she was allowed to slip and call him Giles. `After all, she's only
been calling me Rupert for a week.' He thought as he drifted off to
sleep.

* * * * * *

She stood under the hot spray of the water falling from above,
as anger began to fill her.

"It wasn't me, it was her! It was her!" And she took the
facecloth and began to roughly scrub her skin, trying to wash away
any evidence that he'd even touched her. "How could he do this to
me? That son of a bitch. How could he make me feel?"

She scrubbed until her skin was raw, much like her emotions,
then shut off the water and dried herself with a towel. She then
went to `her' room and found a pair of boxers and matching top and
put them on, and plopped down onto the bed.

She went over the events in her mind until she felt something
sliding down her cheek. She brought her hand up and touched it, but
when she brought her hand down to look at; it was wet.
"Bastard." She said as she lay down on her side, drawing her legs up
to her chest in the fetal position.

Yes, she was mad, furious at the man she had lain with; but she
was madder at herself for feeling the way she did. She had allowed
herself to care. An emotion she couldn't afford to have.


Chapter fourteen


Willow awoke to the suns rays shining in through her bedroom
window, but as she looked around sleepily, she desperately tried to
remember how and when she got there. She looked down at herself and
noticed that she wore pajamas; something else she didn't remember
changing into.

She rose from the bed, noticing that her muscles ached a little,
and went to the bathroom to relieve herself and brush her teeth.
Once finished, she left the room and went downstairs and saw that
the dinner from last night still sat on the table-untouched.

She sighed and went to the counter and began brewing a fresh pot
of coffee, and put the kettle on for tea. She then went to work
clearing the table, wondering if she should just throw the meal out
in the garbage. For the time being, she put all the food into a
large bowl, then took the kettle off the stove as she heard it's
high pitched whistle.

Grabbing a cup for the cupboard, she poured the dark liquid into
it and added a fair amount of milk to cool it off a little faster.
Willow took a large gulp of coffee, and then took the cup with her
back up to her room to drink while she changed.

She had absolutely no memories of the previous night; nothing to
tell her what happened. The last thing she remembered was sitting
down at the table and taking a bite of the pot roast Giles had set
in front of her. She hadn't even finished chewing; when a stabbing
pain hit her in the head-then all went black.

Nothing.

"This makes twice that it's happened while with a Scooby." She
said to herself. "I can't keep this quiet much longer."

Willow headed down the stairs with cup in hand, only to see
Giles in the kitchen already, still in his bathrobe.

"Ahhh, Willow. There you are."

"Morning, Rupert."

"I see you have the coffee already brewed this morning. Would
you like a cup, or would you prefer tea?" he asked as he walked over
to her and gave her a soft kiss.

"Coffee would be great, thanks."

"I must say I missed you this morning. Were you up very long?"

"Not very. I came down and started the coffee and cleared the
table, then went and got dressed." She said, a little
confused. `Missed me?'

"Yes, I suppose the table should have been cleared last night,
but…" he let the sentence trail off as a shy smile came to his lips.

"No, it's okay. I didn't mind." She said, but Giles couldn't
help notice the slightly distant look in her eyes.

"Willow, luv? D-did I displease you in some way last night?" he
asked, concerned.

"No! No, everything is fine-really." She replied quickly as an
idea came to her. She held up her coffee cup, "Sorry, just not quite
awake enough for coherent thoughts yet." She said sheepishly, and
saw the relief flood the older man at her words. `Displease me?
About what?' she wondered.

"Ah, yes. Quite understandable." He said, and poured some coffee
into her cup.

"What do you have planned for today?"

"For starters, Anya and I will be cleaning out the store, to
prepare for the construction next week."

"Anya will probably be jumping up and down in her excitement."

"Yes. I foresee a rather exhausting week ahead of me." He
chuckled, "And what about you?"

"If I know Xander, he'll be over sometime today."

"I sense a lack of enthusiasm on your part. I take it that you
do not wish to see him?"

"Its not that really. It's just that I see him almost everyday.
I have to sneak out of the house just to have some time to myself;
you know?"

"You know Xander. He's just worried about you. After all, you
have only been back for just over two weeks. Your forgetting, for
those few months that you and I were in England, he lost his best
friend. In his own way, he is just trying to make up for lost time;
couple that with the fact that he has to adjust to our relationship.
He's coping with the changes the best way he can."

"I suppose your right. I didn't think to look at it that way."
She said, lowering her eyes.

"Sometimes we all go through periods where we don't see the
answers to our questions, even though they are right in front of us.
It happens to the best of us."

"Does it happen to you?"

"Of course. I wouldn't be human otherwise." He smiled and gave
her a hug. "I afraid I must get showered and changed. I told Anya
that I would be at the store in forty-five minutes." He kissed the
top of her head. "I'll be down shortly, luv." And he left.

Willow sat there, slowly trying to go over the conversation in
her mind.

`Missed me? Displease me? What's all that about?' she
wondered, `What on earth happened last night!' He frustration was
building the longer she thought about it, when the phone ringing
brought her back to the present. Willow went to the phone and picked
it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey there, Willster!"

"Hi, Xander."

"How's my bested bud? You got any plans today?"

"Nope, none that I can think of."

"Great! `Cause my schedule is free and clear! See you in an
hour." He said and hung up.
Willow sighed and hung up the phone, then went back to her coffee
and gulped it back before pouring herself another.

"Give me strength." She said as she looked up.


Tbc in chapter fifteen of Admissions of Guilt.