By Regalo3000
==========
Introduction
==========
It wasn't that he was dumb, Slow Motion had various degrees in Medicine. It wasn't that he was anti-social, Slow Motion had been Captain of the soccer team, all around party-goer, stirrer-up of practical jokes galore, and good-looking to boot. The only explanation for the rejection had to have been a clash of personalities. Buckaroo simply did not like him. Maybe it was the name he'd chosen for himself--Slow Motion. Everyone else had more vibrant names, positive, out-going. He simply believed that the more time one takes to think out a problem the less mistakes one would make in life. Take It Slow, was his motto. The same with making love, take your time and it'll go well. But, even so, even though, and even mo', Slow Motion's request to join the Banzai Team had been rejected. And, multiple efforts to get an explanation had also come to complete failure--lack of any response. And, so, began his obsession with Buckaroo Banzai. The explanation became his sole purpose for being alive. The College Graduate had become a recluse in his young age.
Knock knock.
Don't answer the door, and if you do decide to answer it, Do It Slwoly and Carefully, you never know who it can be.
It was Stanford, his old College Buddy.
You look like crap, my friend, said Stanford. Wow, this whole place looks like ---
--What do you want? Make it quick, I'm a busy man.
I know. Writing the Banzai Institute every chance you get.
How do you know that?
I know things .... Well, it didn't think things would turn out this way.
What do you mean?
I mean that I'm the one that's been intercepting your mail, making your life a misery.
Slow Motion began to shake, visibly.
That's--that's impossible.
Several years ago you took my girl, and I vowed to get back at you. But, I never thought it would come to this. What is this? A fifteen year old hamburger? I thought you were stronger than this. I thought you could handle the stress.
He tossed a pile of letters on the kitchen table, or what looked like a kitchen table.
The acceptance letters. It's all there. But, I doubt they'll take you now, since you're completely off your rocker. This was just way too easy. Take care, Slow Motion.
Then he was gone.
Slow Motion looked at the poster of BB on the wall. He was no longer the enemy, he was a friend again?
It was then that he realized that he had been hoping in the wrong thing. The idea was not to find strength in someone else but in yourself. What a fool he'd been. What a sucker.
BB stood for what was best in the human spirit, he was a mirror of what man could be. But, even BB had to have had his bad days.
Slow Motion put himself to yet another test. He would wait exactly one year before sending off another application. He would take is s-l-o-w-ly, and if by the end of the year he didn't find the strength he needed to be someone special, he'd give up altogether.
First he began by cleaning up his apartment, then he would sit down and read the letters from the Banzai Institute.
==========
PT 1
==========
Silence was the key, thought Slow Motion. 12 Months before I contact Buckaroo Banzai, can I hold out that long? He sat in silence in his clean room, meditating. The old college soccer days came back to him, he could see the ball, he could see every move he was making, lining up the shot, watching out for the opposing team member to his left who was coming fast and angry. But, the ball went in the net this time. How many times had he missed it in his mind? It must have been fifty since Buckaroo had sent him the rejection letter ... "I am sorry to inform you that you do not meet our qualifications ..." No, it hadn't been Buckaroo. Stanford!!! that bas-- wait -- purge the anger, no matter how long it takes, be ... patient ... yes, the Captain has to be patient and observant, he has to be a tower of strength for his team ... no ...I'm so weak ...I'll never make it ... 12 months ... 12 months ... where's my typewriter? no ... patience ... without it the team loses concentration ... It's only been less than twenty-four hours and I can't help myself, I must write it NOW!!!!!!!
He pulled out the old typewriter, happy now that he was going to write Buckaroo a more positive letter. Not ready! Not ready! Yes you are -- you're happy! You're not angry at Buckaroo anymore, you have the answers!
NO ... NOT READY!
SLOW ...
SLOW ...
He put the typewriter away ... I'm not ready to join ... Until I can communicate within reasonable parameters ... without going berserk ... with my head screwed on right ... then he thought of Stanford ... that rat bas -- no, forgive, he had his reasons, and he was merciful in the end ... he ruined my chances ... no, you did, Slow Motion, you did, you lost your cool ... you didn't take it ... s-l-o-w ...
smooth ...
cool ...
remember the tale of the Indian Warrior who rides into battle backwards trusting in the Great Spirit ... he entered the battle way too soon and was pulverized!
He started to laugh, he hadn't laughed in months. He'd cursed at his pitiful life, he'd hit the walls until his knuckles bled, but he hadn't laughed, not like this. Until he leaned forward and forced the typewriter to slide off the desk and onto his right foot--then he was crying and screaming like a little child.
Slow Motion--what have you gone and done now, you've broken something!
==========
End
===========
The waiting area in the hospital looked like a good place to rest for a bit. Slow Motion's right foot had been attended to, they'd placed a cast on it and given him a single crutch to walk with, he just needed a place to sit and relax and think. He ignored the outbursts of ther overhead televisions, the hospital announcements on the speaker system, and the chatter of people as he closed his eyes and meditated. He was tired of the hospital by now, but, he didn't want to go home just yet. He had no friends to speak of--months of self-indulgent reclusive behavior had soured many a friend. No one to talk to or confide in. Dare he contact them again? I'm a new man, let's start off where we so sourly left of? He didn't think that would work at all. He opened his eyes and looked at the cast on his right foot, thinking how it so needed a signature. Then he noticed the man sitting next to him was reading a Buckaroo Banzai comic book.
Buckaroo, said Slow Motion. Great Man.
Wanna know what the Great Man has to say this time? said the Stranger with the comic book.
Why not?
You'll know you're one of the good guys, read the Stranger, when a cause against evil finds you. It will come when you least expect it. And there's no guarantee you'll be ready to meet the challenge.
Sounds just about right, said Slow Motion, looking away, wanting to hide, feeling a sense jealousy mixed with shame. Why couldn't he come up with sayings like that?
Bologna, said the Stranger. Poppycock! Who does he think he is? A guru? The reincarnation of an enlightened soul? A modern shaman? A prophet? He's leading the world astray if you ask me!
Why do you read him then? asked Slow Motion. You don't like the show, change the channel. Slow Motion snapped his fingers at the man.
Oh, a wise guy! said the Stranger. Good thing you're in an emergency room.
Why? Or you'd hit me, asked Slow Motion.
No, you're close to the people here can heal your other foot! said the Stranger, who then stomped on Slow Motion's left foot then rose and left the emergency room in a huff, leaving Slow Motion screaming in pain.
What the hell was HIS problem? thought Slow Motion
_______
Two crutches are what Slow Motion used to get home that night. His luck had seemed to run out on him, and the Banzai Institute was the farthest thing from his mind. He pictured himself being attacked by aliens, shooting guns, saving the world, and defending himself with two crutches. The image made him laugh it was so absurd.
What's so funny? asked a voice out of the darkness.
He didn't like the sound of that voice, it was the voice of a hardened man, like the sound of gravel, too many hungry nights. Slow Motion did not respond. He knew some karate, he'd been the Captain of the college karate team, but with two broken feet what could he do? Guess he'd have to use the crutches after all. There was no one else on the street but he and the silhouette in front of him.
I'm just on my way home, said Slow Motion.
That's too bad, cause I need a cup of coffee, said the voice. Can you spare some money for a cup of coffee?
Slow to anger, Slow Motion thought. No, he said, but I will buy you a meal.
What? said the voice.
If you're hungry I'll buy you a meal.
Uh, uh, sure, said the voice.
There were times when quick-thinking was just what the doctor ordered ...
_______
So, said Slow Motion as he ate his meal, that's my story so far. He had told the man everything that had happened since the day he had applied to be a part of the Banzai Team. The man had gobbled up his own meal, consumed it with zeal was more like it.
I don't really have any unique abilities, said Slow Motion, I still don't understand why I was accepted. I'm no one special.
You've lead an interesting life, said Miles, the would-be mugger now turned human being before Slow Motion's eyes. I never thought you college boys had it tough.
Oh, yeah, it happens to some of us. There's a high percentage of suicides among students who just can't make the grade. Thing is, I don't believe they ever really knew why or for who they were doing all that studying for. Are you doing it because of a family tradition? Are you doing it for your parents? To get a girl?
Why did you do it, Slow Motion?
Slow Motion thought carefully about his response: Well, for appearances' sake, I didn't want to look like a loser. All my friends were going to college. To make a long story short I didn't really care. I don't really want to be a doctor, I really want to --
-- Save the world? interrupted Miles.
Yeah.
Be a hero?
Yeah.
You are a hero, said the man. Tonight, you were MY hero. Miles stood up and wrapped the collar of his jacket more closely around his neck in anticipation of the coming cold. He quickly massaged his beard and moustache. Get home safely, he said. And thank you for the meal.
Then Miles left the coffee shop.
_______
It took Slow Motion ages to get home, and an eternity to walk up the five stories to his apartment, but, when he got there he was relieved to be home. The day was done and now all he had to do was heal ... But as he walked through the door and stepped into the livingroom, turning on the light, his heart lept out of his chest. Miles was sitting in the livingroom. About to defend himself, Slow Motion quickly raised a crutch high into the air!
Wait! said Miles, Slow down! He ripped off his moustache and beard! It was Buckaroo Banzai!
Now, he had vowed never to write to Buckaroo or even go anywhere near the Institute, but, there was nothing in the rules about Buckaroo coming to him.
You didn't write, said BB, and I was wondering what had happened to you.
_______
It wasn't so much your abilities as a student that caught my eye, said Buckaroo Banzai to an astonished Slow Motion. Both men were sitting in the living room of Slow Motion's apartment, they had been talking for a while. Buckaroo continued: It was the original way you thought. I need men like you.
Buckaroo paused.
I'm sorry your mail was intercepted, said BB. --
Slow Motion interrupted --What happened happened. It can't be changed. Meditation has a way of healing wounds. It won't be the first time life has thrown me a curve ball. How we deal with failure is just as important as how we deal with success. Did I really just say that? That's so cliche.
Buckaroo smiled. Cliches can still be truths, he said, no matter how corny they sound.
Buckaroo rose. Slow Motion rose with him.
When you decide to come to us, come to us slowly, as your spirit dictates. Goodnight, Slow Motion.
Goodnight, Buckaroo.
BB left the apartment. Slow Motion closed the door after him.
He looked at his old typewriter. There was no need to write anything now.
He slowly took off his clothes.
Slowly did he lie down in bed.
Slowly did he fall asleep, with a smile on his face.
* * *
I want to thank everyone for giving me the opportunity to share this short story with you.
