Warning: This one's a crossover of many sorts, film-wise, so be on your toes ...
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Penny Priddy:
Roger Roger ...
The place was jumping. Loud music filled the air. Cigarette smoke and the smell of alcohol permeated the atmosphere. Penny Priddy was finally allowing herself to enjoy herself, have some fun, and not be such a prude about things. For once she was away from the usual crowd, those at the Banzai Institute, and was hanging out with a guy named Roger. She didn't even want to know his last name, he was simply Roger, and that's all she cared to know. No one from the Institute knew about him. No one knew where she was in fact. She had just arrived at the party having heard of its existence about an hour before and she had just met Roger for the first time only moments ago. It was her chance to step out, be free, get away from it all. But, there was something shady and dark about Roger. Maybe that's exactly what she had liked about him, he had a dangerous side to him, one that was lawless and brave and everything else imaginable. No goody-two-shoes here. Just plain masculine stupidity mixed with a little daring, and cute to boot. So, when distracted for a second by an argument that had broken out in the corner of the room, she didn't suspect that good old dark Roger was slipping a fine powder into her drink.
Man, that argument is loud, she said, turning around and taking a sip. Hmmm. Hi, Roger, she said, flirting with him with her eyes.
Hi, said Roger. We'll be splitting this joint soon.
Where are we going?
To a nightclub around the corner, said Roger.
Sounds like fun. I'm game. Hey, I feel a bit dizzy.
Don't worry, no matter how drunk you get, I'll protect you. Roger smiled and said: Let's go! And he whisked her off to The Ink and Paint Club.
Roger Rabbit the cartoon character was sitting next to her. Wheeee! What a swell party! I wonder if they're serving kool-aid! Don't look now, but, that's Mickey Mouse over there making-out with Minnie!
Please, don't show me things like that, she said trying to stand, but falling back down in her seat. This is very weird. This is very very strange ...
What is?
I could swear that's Humphrey Bogart over there sitting in the corner.
There WAS a guy sitting in the corner who DID bear a slight resemblance to Bogart, but, Roger knew it was the drug taking effect.
Rrrrreally? Roger Rabbit smiled, why don't you go over there and ask him Where's Ingrid?
I might just do that, she replied. Let em finish my drink first. She listened carefully to Bogart's conversation.
So there I was, said Bogart. Sam had just finished playing The Song. Three Nazi officers are standing around me. I'm standing over the dead body of one of their own, smoke is coming out of my pistol, now it was only a question of either dragging me off to jail or shooting me right there on the spot.
Dammit, said Hunter Thompson, those filthy rotten swine! Damn Nazis, they think they can get away with sandbagging my favorite bar-owner! Well, I've got a surprise waiting for them! I'll run them over with my jetcar! Yes, that's it! Note to myself, just in case I'm too wasted to recall anything of vital importance in the very near future, invent jetcar to run Nazis over with!
What's wrong with me? Penny Priddy shook her head. I'm seeing things!
Wrong? Why, nothing's wrong! Toon Town is safe! What could ppppppossibly be wrong? Gimme a milk and cookies, and let's make it snnnnnappy! Cheer up, we're at The Ink and Paint Club! The most funnest place on earth!
At the bar where an octopus was serving drinks were Godzilla and King Kong and they were arguing about the merit of Kurosawa films. Penguins were moving from table to table serving costumers. On the dance floor were Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, but, they weren't dancing, they were having a fist fight with Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters over who trully deserved to be remembered for a certain dance routine. The band they were supposed to be dancing to was made of of black crows that were arguing about the show-business career of Peewee Herman. Bruce Willis was hiding under a table while the Phantom of the Opera rained bullets down on him from the balcony above. The Rockettes were singing the strangest song, something about living at Joe's Apartment, it's your apartment too.
It was a madhouse.
Oh, gee, I see an old friend, said Roger Rabbit, tugging at Penny's sleeve, let's go, c'mon!
It wasn't long before Roger had parked himself in front of Ed Wood.
Eddie, baby! said Roger, read any good books, made any good films lately?
I'm working on a new script!
Wassit about? Can I be in it!
No! I need a name! A name like ... Bela Logosi.
Well, if you change your mind, let me know! Ohhhhhhh! Wheeeeee! Roger had hitched a ride on a passing waitress's tray and sped out of view!
Logosi and I are pals, said Ed to Penny.
That's very nice, said Penny. She was suddenly picked up and twirled around by the Robot from Lost in Space.
Danger, Penny Priddy, danger! The robot grew large eyes on its chest that blinked and winked at her!
Let go of me! Penny Priddy ran screaming from the place. What was happening? Everyone was a character from the movies! She could hear Roger Rabbit yelling after her. Penny! Penny! Wwwwwwwait for mmeeeeeee!!!
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She got into an elevator and realized the man running it was Charlie Chaplin in his tramp costume. The man twitched his small square moustache and Penny screamed all the way down and then up again! Then down, then up! Down, up!
The Keystone Cops who grabbed her and made her lie down on a stretcher as they bumped into eachother, the walls, and fell into and out of the police wagon!
The last thing she remembered was Shakespeare himself sitting at the foot of her bed saying "All's well that ends well," and her foot kicking out and smashing him in the face.
Several days passed in this manner, and quite a lot of faces were kicked, before she could remember who she was, and where exactly she might be. The drug wore off eventually and she was allowed to leave the hospital.
Roger was nowhere to be found, so, what really happened that night had to be culled from various eye-witness accounts which filled-in on some very important details, like how at the party she was calling everyone by NOT their real names and had tried sucking on numerous persons' necks yelling about leeches and various other parasites, how she had screamed crazily at the nightclub jumping from table to table and run out to the lobby, and how the police were called because she had been riding up and down in the elevator screaming something about Hitler's evil moustache. How during the evening she had even thought her date Roger was a rabbit and had wanted, for good luck's sake, to cut off his foot with a kitchen knife, which was probably why he never wanted to see her again.
I thought the people I usually hangout with are strange, and sometimes I have a need to get away, she thought. But, that night taught me that strange is merely in the eye of the beholder, and I ought to be grateful for what I do have.
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