A Taste of Romance
By Regalo3000
Rated PG
Stop squirming, said Slow Motion. Smalleyes looked nervous and was sweating. You remind me of a worm trying to wriggle its way out of someone's fingers.
The damn thing is tight around my neck, said Smalleyes, twisting his head around so he could breathe better.
Think of it as an electronic tux. This is Virtual Reality and you're just going to have to get used to the suit.
Why did I agree to do this? Why did I agree to be the first? I must've been crazy.
Professor Hikita is mighty interested in the psychological value of this machine.
This is true, said Hikita. It is being loaned to the Institute on a trial basis, but, I believe it has genuine value beyond our wildest expectations.
Now, said Slow Motion, according to the brochure the company sent to us, you'll be entering a fancy party, and no one will be able to see what you really look like.
Buckaroo was standing by the phone. They want an answer now.
Have you decided? asked Slow Motion.
Smalleyes blinked several times. Well, he said, millionaire playboy does sound interesting, but, body builder is another good option, no, to hell with it, James Bond, I wanna be James Bond.
James Bond, Buckaroo said smiling into the phone. Done, he said after a moment and hung up.
Good luck, Mr. Bond, said Slow Motion. I hope you've been briefed as to your mission?
Go screw yourself, said Smalleyes. Okay, here we go, he said putting on the Virtual Reality Helmet and feeling like a deep sea diver going to the bottom of the sea.
The vision of the party that assaulted his senses looked very real except for minor graphic differences. There wasn't as much detail in the faces of the people partying around him.
Mr. Bond, said a man waving in a certain direction. Your table is ready. Do you want me to put those flowers in water for you?
What? asked Smalleyes, then he looked down and saw the roses in his left fist. Oh, uh, no, I think I'll hold onto these ...
As you wish, said the man. Follow me.
Smalleyes followed the man to a table and sat down.
The man looked down at him. Mr. Bond, the woman who was to meet you here seems to have stepped away for the time being. I hope she hasn't left permanently. What will you have to drink?
What? Oh. Uh. Scotch. On the rocks.
Very well, Mr. Bond. The man stepped away.
Does Bond drink Scotch? asked Smalleyes.
Are you talking to me? said a woman. She was blonde and wore a most beautiful red dress. She sat down next to Smalleyes and held out a cigarette. Smalleyes studied her lipstick which was ruby red.
Aren't you gonna light my fire? she said.
Smalleyes reached into his pocket and miraculously brought out a gold lighter. You look beautiful for an animated character.
Who said I'm animated? Hey, what the hell is this? Is this guy for real? Does he even know other people are also hooked into this simulation?
You're REAL? he said. Nobody told me.
Some James Bond, the woman was saying. I totally wasted my money! You creep! She rose and left the table quickly.
Smalleyes sat there feeling like an idiot. Bloody hell, he said under his breath, why didn't you guys tell me this was real? Damn you! Okay, gotta get my bearings now. I'm James Bond. I'm James Bond. The sexiest man alive ...
He accidentally spilled the wine glass on the table. Oh, that was a cool thing to do, he was berating himself. So, this is real, and others are hooked in, huh? He rose from the table and walked up to the bar. There was a woman sitting on a stool there.
Hello, said Smalleyes.
Hi, said the woman.
Bond. James Bond.
The woman laughed.
What's so funny?
I'm Moneypenny.
You don't say. Well, Moneypenny, what say I buy you a drink, then we can discuss work.
I don't discuss work except when I'm at work. And, you're a terrible James Bond.
But, I'm a terrific dancer.
Have you ever tried dancing in these suits? It's a joke.
Slow Music! Smalleyes shouted with authority. The room quieted. Then we'll dance slowly, and we'll try not to mess things up.
He reached out his hand and she rose from the stool. Why not? First time for everything. She pretended to down her drink then walked over to the dance floor and stood facing Mr. Bond. Handsome Mr. Bond.
A piano softly played the beginnings of a haunting melody, violin strings soon joined in as accompaniment, then a soft voice began to sing.
I can't feel you, she said.
But I can feel you, here, he touched his heart. Let's pretend we can touch one another.
She giggled.
Matters of the heart are no laughing matter, said James. I've watched you for the longest time. As long as I can remember.
Nice try, she said.
Well, I've got my wish, he said.
And what's that? she asked.
To dance with the prettiest girl in the room.
Keep talking.
Whatever danger might come my way tonight, at least I got to see you one more time. Out there there are men who want to kill me and will probably succeed, but, for now I'm exactly where I want to be. Nothing could be better.
I'm listening.
He looked at his watch. My time is up. I have to go. I might die tonight. But, if I could die with just one last memory, something shared between us.
And what might that be?
A kiss.
We won't feel anything.
Sweetheart, it's the thought that counts, don't you know that? Didn't you ever kiss your hand practising for the day in which you'd kiss someone for real? There's no difference between that and this ...
He leaned forward and kissed her.
I love you. I've always loved you. I just wanted you to know that before I die. He turned and walked away, slowly slipping off the helmet. He had disappeared in the Virtual World.
Wait!!! she was saying.
What's wrong, asked Slow Motion.
I can't do it, said Smalleyes. I can't go on lying to that poor woman. She's out there, as real as I am, and I was lying to her. That's not love. Love is what is close to truth not what is filled with falsehood. He paused. Besides, I want to know WHO I'm falling in love with.
Sadly, he walked out of the room.
Slow Motion, Buckaroo, and Hikita all dove for the helmet, and began arguing over who was going to go next.
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