By regalo3000
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The Alice In Wonderland wouldn't pack more than 200 people, anything above that was against the law. It was the way of the Hong Kong Cavaliers to play the small joints, there were less people to worry about. Buckaroo was after all a wanted man, by some of the nastiest underworld crime figures imaginable, to say the least.
It was at the Alice in Wonderland that Slow Motion got his first taste of being a bodyguard. It had begun several days earlier when he was volunteered for the job of protecting Buckaroo, sent to a room, where a nameless drill sergeant (of sorts) began to yell and scream at him.
Do you see these fine examples of men standing in a line before you, private?
Reno was among the line that stood before Slow Motion, he did not smile but stared straight ahead.
Of course I do, said Slow Motion.
You will address me as sir, do I make myslef loud and clear.
About as loud as my eardrums can handle, sir.
Do I look like I have a sense of humor to you? said the drill instructor with no name. You will address me as sir, because I don't have a name. I don't exist. But I will tell you one thing, I've protected the most important men on earth, from the President of the United States to lowlife scum in witness protection programs. And I've been called here today because they tell me you show promise. Hah! I've seen more promising bodyguards in a girl scout troop than I see standing before me today in the one they call Slow Motion. Does that make you angry?
No, sir.
Why not?
Because it must be true, sir.
What the hell, why do you say that?
I once taught a ten year old girl who later taught me a lesson, threw me into a pile of boxes.
Is that so! Buckaroo! Why the hell have you asked me to come here today? I can't work with a man who let a child get the better of him!
Buckarro said: I hoped you could make him a better man, sir.
I take offense, said Slow Motion.
Shut up, said The Driller, as he now came to be known in Slow Motion's mind. I hear you're a deadeye!
I am, sir!
An unerring marksman.
Yes, sir, that I am!
But can you kill a man with your bare hands?
Yes, sir, but --
--There are no buts!
I beg to differ, sir!
If some man had his hands around Buckaroo's neck, and Buckaroo was unconscious, helpless, you wouldn't kill him?
I'd knock the man unconscious, sir! I'd kill him only if I had no other choice!
You've never killed, private!
And I hope I never have to!
I don't know one man in this profession who can say he never had to kill another man!
There's always a first time for everything, sir!
_______
The music hit Slow Motion in the chest as he entered the Alice in Wonderland, the heavy beat of the pre-recorded dance tune became a part of him, he became a part of the atmosphere, and he was in full swing. He had been chosen to enter the Club earlier than the band itself, he was what they called a Mingler. His job was to talk to the crowd, get the feel of it, stay alert, drink ginger ale which would be supplied by the bartender who was also a Mingler.
Listen to me carefully, said The Driller, look at these faces and then forget them. The Hong Kong Cavaliers will not exist for you from the second you enter the Club, whatever Club it is. You're there to pick up women, to bum cigarettes, to get drunk and throw up in an alley, to befriend and even go home with any suspicious characters if need be. You are a spy for the Banzai Institute.
The line of men filed out of the room and Slow Motion was left alone with ... The Driller.
Remember at all times, people are nervous around Buckaroo, they find him intimidating, and when nervous their hands are always reaching into their pockets. They don't mean any harm. Others are reaching for just a cigarette. And yet others are reaching for poison darts spit out through a simple straw taken from their soda glass. This job is going to drive you crazy every time you do it. The more you love Buckaroo, the harder it's going to be. If they get to him, let the band members on stage take care of keeping Buckaroo alive, it's your job to catch the damn perpetrator ...
I understand, said Slow Motion.
_______
Hi.
Hi.
Are you with the band?
No. Are you?
Yes.
Yes?
I'm related.
You are?
To the guitarist.
Really?
Third cousins. What's your name?
Can I meet Buckaroo?
Sorry. I can't help you there.
Bye.
_______
Hi.
Hi.
Isn't the band great?
Yeah. Got a smoke?
I don't smoke.
Wanna drink?
I don't drink.
Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do? Ha!
I walk away ...
_______
Hello.
Hi.
Are you enjoying the show?
Get lost.
_______
Hi.
You're just way too desperate for me. Bye.
_______
What am I doing wrong? asked Slow Motion. Maybe I'm trying to hard. Dudes might be easier to talk to.
_______
Hey.
I don't go for your type, man.
What?
I don't go for your type. So beat it before I--Hey, let me go!
Why'd you touch me?
Look, I ain't got no beef with you!
You didn't have to put your hands on me!
Okay, what's going on here!
Security, this guy put a hold on me, and I didn't do anything to him!
Okay, let him go!
Alright! I'm letting him go!
That'll teach ya!
Are you okay or do I have to toss you outta here?
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Okay, good. If I see you hanging around that same guy I'm gonna have to toss you out, do I make myself loud and clear?
It's The Driller, Slow Motion thought, I hadn't even noticed! Yeah, yeah, I'm cool, I'm cool!
Okay then, park your butt as far away as possible, and watch out for a guy with a green sweater, now move your butt!
I'm sorry, sir, that won't happen again. He just grabbed me, for no reason.
I know, I know, just calm down, I've taken care of everything.
______
Moving across the Club Slow Motion found it hard to keep his eyes off the Hong Kong Cavaliers, their music penetrated his very soul. Stop! Eyes off the band, you idiot! There's a suspicious guy with a green sweater!
There were five guys in the far corner wearing green sweaters!!! Which one was The Driller referring to?
Hey, guys! How about a round of drinks! It's on me!
Get out of here, lowlife!
Lowlife? I'm trying to be friendly!
One of them stood up and touched Slow Motion on the chest with his finger. I said get lost, and I mean right now.
C'mon! C'mon! Green is my favorite color! I'm part Irish! Saint Patrick's is only a month away and I want to buy you guys a drink in anticipation of my favorite holiday!
The man sat back down after one of the guys at the table had shook his head. Slow Motion knew who the leader was right then and there. He singled the man out for some more harrassment.
You! You look like the kind of guy that knows a thousand jokes!
Get lost!
C'mon! C'mon! If you won't let me buy you a drink, buy me a drink!
The leader nodded suddenly.
Slow Motion half-expected to see a gun being whipped out, but waited!
One guy stood up and yelled! Buckaroo, you're the greatest!
The next guy said, Buckaroo, you're the greatest!
And down the line it went, until all five gree-sweatered men had said their praises of Buckaroo!
It was a fan club! He'd been duped!
Slow Motion had heard of what they called Good Hecklers but had never seen it in operation!
His eyes searched the bar but there was no sign of The Driller. No doubt he was off somewhere laughing his head off, because certain members of the HKC seemed to be doing exactly that.
