By Regalo3000
==========
I know what you're going to say, Buckaroo. Slow Motion looked worse than he ever had in his life. Buckaroo had bullied his way onto the roof and into the man's presence, because enough was enough. Slow Motion went on: Well, Slow Motion, don't you think it's been enough time, and don't you think you've sat here long enough playing "Are You Lonesome tonight". And, don't you think it's time you got on with your life?
Very good, said Buckaroo. That's about the jist of what I had in mind to say.
Well, I agree, said Slow Motion, rising. I could use a good shower, and a good shave. "Are You Lonesome tonight" was playing again on the cd-player which was set to repeat the song over and over. This was Stanford's song. He must have played it a thousand times way back in college, soon after they broke up. I never understood the song until now. I hate it after having listened to it this many times, but I understand it. I wanted to understand ... him. The pain he was going through. I had the chance to sit on him, Buckaroo. For about thirty seconds I thought it was over, I'd forgotten about The Driller's firearm. I wasn't concentrating.
His name was Dutch, said Buckaroo. The Driller's name was Dutch.
Slow Motion nodded. There's something I want you to do for me, he said.
Anything, said Banzai.
My own Dental Clinic, said Slow Motion. I mean OUR CLINIC, the Buckaroo Banzai Dental Clinic.
Consider it done. But, what about the BB Theatrical Dream Machine?
I'm still interested in that. For now, I'd like to ... sink my teeth -- oh that's so bad -- into helping people again.
I'll get the paperwork started. There's a little building I know of that can be converted into a dental clinic. I think it'll do just fine.
Thanks, Buckaroo.
Together the two men strode toward the roof door. Besides, you know you've had enough when your sleeping bag starts to itch like it was teaming with some new species of insect.
_______
Three black vans pulled up in front of the Buckaroo Banzai Dental Clinic and all of their doors slid open at the exact same time. Machine-gun weilding Ninjas spilled out then they encircled two hooded figures and as a unit they all entered the clinic. The vans pulled away and into the parking lot where more Ninjas began unloading building supplies.
Everything , the phone lines, the electricity, it had all been cut by the time the vans had arrived. Chuck Dowling the security guard was in a state of panic, trying to raise someone, anyone on the walkie-talkie. Communications were being jammed. Three Ninjas burst into his office. But, before he could reach for his gun, he was shot with a dart. He fell to the floor, and the Ninjas moved on.
Nobody move! yelled one of the Ninja to very startled patients in the waiting area. Then, one by one, they were forced to follow the Ninjas through a door labeled "CLOSET." Anyone comes out this room dies, said a Ninja and the door was closed.
I think this tooth needs some bonding, said Slow Motion examining the mouth of a female patient.
Is that expensive? asked the woman.
Not very, not as much as say a genuine porcelain tooth which is what I do recommend.
The lights went out.
What now? asked Slow Motion.
The door burst open and flashlights filled his field of vision, he squinted.
What's going on? asked the woman. She was being lifted from the dental chair by big hands and carried out.
Alright, what's the big idea? yelled Slow Motion.
The big idea, said a smooth sounding voice, like velvet, with an oriental accent, a single flashlight was in Lo Pep's hand and he held it under his chin like a kid would while telling a horror story at a campsite, is that you are now in the presence of Hanoi Xan, enemy of Buckaroo Banzai.
Are you kidnapping me? asked Slow Motion. Buckaroo knows I'd give my life for the better ideals he stands for.
There will be no need for a kidnapping, said Lo Pep.
Another voice spoke up just then, it reminded Slow Motion of a hungry lion pacing in a cage. Another campfire face appeared, and it sent shivers up Slow Motion's spine. I am Xan, and I have a toothache!
_______
Slow Motion realized that there was a lot of noise going on above his head. What are your men doing on my roof?
That is not your concern! yelled Lo Pep.
I will tell you what is going on, said Xan. They are building a helipad by which we will make our escape. It is not of your concern.
What have you done with the others?
They are safe, and you will now proceed with the extraction, or all will die, yourself as well.
Sit down, said Slow Motion.
Xan sat down in the chair.
I need light. Not on me, on him! Thank you! Shine them inside. Ahh. Wow. Wow. Wow. No fillings. You have perfect teeth.
This is my first cavity, said Xan.
Enough talk, yelled Lo Pep, act!!!
Okay, said Slow Motion. Which one.
The one in the back.
Left or right.
Left.
My left or your left?
My left, your right.
This one? he said touching on it with a tool.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! yelled Xan.
I will kill you, you fool! yelled Lo Pep.
How is this man supposed to extract my tooth if he is dead??? yelled Xan. You are the fool here!
Why have we even come here Master? said Lo Pep. There were easier ways of doing this among our own than to risk coming here and exposing ourselves to such danger.
Because, if you want something done right, you trust in a Dental Association not some fly by night, back alley dentist with three missing front teeth!!
Lo Pep growled like a tiger and stepped back.
Proceed.
I'm going to give you and injection to kill the pain.
No injection, just take it out.
Okay, but, it'll hurt more than the injection.
Okay, inject, but do it quickly!
I need light over here. No, not my face, follow my hands! Thank you! He prepared the needle containing the anesthesia then the lights followed his hands over to Xan.
If this hurts greatly, I will have you killed where you sit.
Shine into the mouth please. Sorry, but, there'll have to be two injections, then we'll have to wait five minutes for anesthesia to take effect.
We do not have five minutes, said Lo Pep.
It will take however long it takes, said Xan.
Right. Here we go. Slow Motion placed his free hand on the opposite side of Xan's mouth and massaged the gums with a quick movement. Xan concentrated on what the stranger's hand was doing. Slow Motion pulled out. That's number one.
That was it, you did the injection. It did not hurt at all.
My other hand was distracting you while I injected. Now we do it again.
The second injection was painful even though he tried the hand movement.
Ahhhhhhh! Kill him, no don't kill him, yes, kill him, no, don't!!!
We wait five minutes.
It is beginning to get numb.
Five minutes.
Take it out, now.
You're not ready, it will hurt.
Do it.
AHHHHHHHH!!! Stop! Okay! We wait five minutes.
Slow Motion hummed the jeopardy song ever so subtly.
I heard you killed your best friend. Said Lo Pep. What kind of friend kills a friend?
Slow Motion did not answer.
Okay, light my watch. Right. How do you feel?
I feel much better. Pull the tooth.
Slow Motion pulled the tooth.
We are done, said Xan.
We are not done, I have to wash the area, stitch up the gums.
We are done I say. And remember this, I'll let you live for now, I like you, you're my kind of man, but, if I ever see you again, you will surely die.
See you around, said Lo Pep with an evil smile.
The Ninjas filed out of the room, they all ran for the staircase leading to the roof. They got into the chopper and took off into the sky.
Slow Motion thought, Well, I may have lost several days worth of business but I gained a helipad. Why did they let me live? Why didn't they kill me? He laughed. Ah, welcome to Slow Motion's house of torture!
