Patient X
By BBI_fiero
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"This isn't good at all..Yes, yes, I understand?." The man had gritted his teeth listening to the receiver.
"All right, I'll try some alternative?.Good bye"
He adjusted his wire rim glasses and thought a moment. It wasn't long before he picked up the receiver and began dialing another number.
"Yes, Beverly, get me Secretary McKinley."
"Yes, that guy?I need to talk to him?.Look, I don't trust him any further than you do but I'm at my wits end."
A few seconds passed before he spoke again.
"Mckinley? Yes, it's me, have you been briefed?"
"Good, then listen to me, I heard you're friends' of Buckaroo Banzai."
"Not really, sort of? sort of will have to do, All I care is you get ahold of him ASAP."
"No, I'm not going to use some military number at Walter Reed hospital. I need someone whom is top notch in neurosurgery?..even if he is unorthodox."
"Great, oh, one more thing?"
"Don't embarrass me."
Mckinley mumbled as he hung up the red telephone. How he hated dealing with other government agencies besides his own. He put down his golf club and paged for a driver.
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The black Cadillac ETC was escorted through the world famous Banzai Institute.
Pinky Cruthers, rifle slung over his shoulder, waved the car through then locked the gates behind.
Rawhide walked down the steps with Buckaroo Banzai.
"I don't like this, Buck, not one bit."
"We're here to be of service?.even if it is McKinley."
"He's an imbecile if you ask me."
"Well, he's our government go between, they asked for our help, therefore we must answer the call of duty."
His cowboy friend breathed heavilly in defeat. He knew Buckaroo never could turn away from a challenge.
The Cadillac approached and Mckinley stepped out.
"Thank you very much for being here on short notice, Doctor Buckaroo Banzai."
"Whats' that in your hands?"
"Oh, here, I've been told to give you these notes, medical files to study during the trip."
Rawhide grumbled as he watched Buckaroo Banzai step into the Black Cadillac. It quickly departed out of the driveway.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hours later, Doctor Banzai stepped out of the car. McKinley got out and spoke to him.
"We have to search you for any electronic devices, it's not my idea, just government formalities."
"I understand." replied Buckaroo.
The security guard waved a wand over the doctors' body for several seconds. After finding the go-phone and retrieving it, he nodded to McKinley that he was clean."
"We'll return your little pager thing-a-ma-bob later." Mckinley stated in a monotone voice.The secretary then nervously stepped away.
"Aren't you coming with me?" asked Banzai.
"This is as far as I go?.Even I don't have clearance past that door."
Doctor Banzai gripped his leather notebook at the statement. Adjusting his red plastic reading glasses, his thoughts raced. `Just who in the world am I operating on?' he wondered.
Suddenly, an electric relay clicked. The metal door opened and two suited men stepped out.
The older gentleman was the first to step forward. "Doctor Banzai, I presume?"
"Yes, who are you?
"I'm the gentleman who arranged our meeting?I run this little operation."
"Why me? Where's your medical staff? You must have your own specialists-"
"We had an unfortunate incident. My doctor and his staff are in Malaysia. Quarantine. Seems they had a small SARS outbreak?"
"Yes, I heard about it in the News?most likely they'll be checked out and returned after-"
"I don't have a week, Dr. Banzai."
Buckaroo noticed the stern gaze of the older man. He detected that the man was very stressed.
In a supporting tone, Doctor Banzai replied, "O.K?.Then let's do it."
All 3 men entered the building, sat through several infared scans, paced down a long hallway, and stepped into an elevator.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
A short time later Buckaroo Banzai finished scrubbing. He was slipping on rubber gloves when a man approached him. He was in full medical garb as Banzai. Upon hearing his voice Buckaroo recognized him as being the very man whom had brought him to this place.
"Everything ready? The man asked.
"Yes, I'm ready?"
They both peered through the glass window. The patient lay on a hi-tech bed, several lamps overhead, various instruments beeping, displaying readings. He was impressed with all the government accommodations.
"What the hell happened to him? His right arm is half destroyed, one leg mangled."
"That information is on a need to know basis." replied the officer.
"You sure don't have problems with finances?or ethics for that matter." muttered Buckaroo.
"We brought you here because he needs your help Dr. Banzai. Believe me, he's a good man."
"Fine." the Hong Kong Cavalier replied. Without saying another word, Banzai entered the room.
The RNs stood at attention as the world famous Buckaroo Banzai approached.The doctor shooed them away and studied the instruments.
"Pressures' fine, heartbeat normal, temperature normal?.PH content?normal."
"Turn on the anesthesia machine."
"Yes, sir Dr. Banzai!" replied all four interns in cadence.
- - - - - -
It was 3 days later. Doctor Banzai had performed meticulous work, never tiring or at least displaying any signs that he was. He had learned various techniques during the car trip. Even learning how to create low decibel fiber optic splices and verifying the connections with a time domain reflectometer.
The anesthesiologist turned off the machine. Moments later the patient's eyes began to flutter.
As his vision cleared, he noticed the familiar form of his boss, the intern, but this strange doctor peering down at him was unrecognizable.
The man spoke in a weak voice. "Who?Who are you?"
"I'm Buckaroo Banzai."
"Buckaroo Banzai? That guy from the Banzai Institute? The man who went through solid-"
"The one and only."
The doctor held a mirror up. After checking out his features in the glass, the patient began to smile.
"I see you stitched me back up all right?.Not bad?Not bad at all?I'm impressed."
"No problem. Bark was worse than the bite."
The OSI gentleman faced Buckaroo. He was a bit taken back from the trite comment, seeing they all endured a very tense weekend. The man realized how lucky he was to be in the presence of this man. The only words he could utter finally came out.
"Sorry for the all the trouble we put you through Doctor?" "By the way, the names' Goldman."
Banzai saw the mans' outstretched arm. Shaking his hand, Buckaroo nodded his head in acknowledgement. Turning around, he decided to address his patient.
"Lift your arm."
The man lifted his right arm and Banzai slid an air bladder over it. He turned on the blood pressure instrument and spoke.
"Here?squeeze this ball for me?I'll tell you when to stop."
The man gripped the object and began to squeeze. Seconds later the pool table Q-ball shattered in shards and dust.
"Sorry `bout that"
"Blood pressure fine, I see." replied Banzai. He put away the instrument and looked down.
"And whom might you be?"
"Steve?Colonal Steve Austin."
"So Steve, what happened to you over your Summer vacation? "
Austin chuckled and glanced at Mr. Goldman.
"Oscar, I'm still tired, perhaps you can explain my recent rescue mission of some emissaries in Turkey ?"
"You rest up, Steve." the OSI officer instructed.
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