By Regalo3000
_______
Hikita checked again, and again. Still, there was no way out of the catacomb. That's it, he said to himself, I've had it with this game!
What is it, Professor, asked Rawhide.
I have checked every corridor, touched every brick, looked up and down, and I cannot find a way out of level three
But there has to be a way out, said Rawhide. What would be the point in creating a game in which you couldn't reach the next level?
What's going on? asked Perfect Tommy.
The New Buckaroo Banzai game, said Rawhide. The Professor here says he's stuck on level three.
That's impossible, said Perfect Tommy, level three you say?
I annihilated the ghoul-demons, pulverized the skeletons, and stomped on every snake I could find and now I can't get out.
Oh, you must be playing the demo, said PT.
Nobody told me this was a demo! said Hikita very angry now.
Oh sure, just start the game over again and --
-- I don't want to go through that all over again, screamed Hikita. Do you know what I had to go through to reach the level where I was at? Now you tell me I have to start over? I'd rather get a REAL gun, and REALLY start shooting at things around here!
You need to take a rest, Professor, said Rawhide. Tommy, I suggest you take this demo and hide it. Bring the real cd-rom out here for people to enjoy.
I'll shut it down then -- began Perfect Tommy.
-- No! screamed the Professor. Perhaps it is NOT the demo!
Pull it out and let's see, said Tommy. It's written right on the cd-rom.
No! If you pull it out I might lose my level!
Try saving the game at this point, said Rawhide. Then you can return to this point when you re-enter the game later. Here, let me --
-- Don't touch! Don't touch anything!
I ain't got time for this, said Rawhide. Do what you want. Rawhide then strode out of the bunker.
Perhaps if I keep on trying, said Hikita.
You know, said PT, there's a trick ... If you don't get out of a maze in time you stay there forever. You have to quit and restart the game again from the beginning. The game only gives you a certain amount of time, then all bets are off.
Who would create a game like this?
Well, we did, we all sat down and wrote down what kind of game we'd like it to be. I guess you weren't around for the catacomb adventure sessions.
It is monstrous.
It's just a game.
No! It is not just a game! It is three precious hours from my life! And now -- and now ...
Look, Professor, why don't I just call the Game Team and see what they have to say ...
No, I want to figure this out myself!
Okay, suit yourself ...
_______
Two hours later ...
Hikita was crying like a little child. Ha! Game Team! They should die!
Rawhide entered the room and placed his arm around the old man. C'mon, Professor, it's time to go to bed.
Game Team, he was saying, tears streaming down his cheeks.
I know, I know ... He turned off the computer.
What is it? What is it? I want to know, I need to know. Is it a demo or not?
I turned it off.
Start it up again.
Are you sure?
Yes.
The machine was started up and the cd-rom opened. It was not the demo.
Move aside, said Hikita. This is the real thing.
No, Professor, don't.
I'm going to try again, even if it kills me.
Rawhide took the cd-rom in hand and bent it until it snapped into several pieces. It's for your own good, Professor.
No! screamed Hikita. You will die!
Take it easy, Professor. Get some rest, I'll make sure you get a new one in the morning.
You ghoul, the Professor was screeching. Where's my gun? He tried reaching for Rawhide's gun but Rawhide pushed the old man aside.
Hikita! Buckaroo yelled. What's going on here? He ran over to the two men.
Oh, Buckaroo, said Hikita, I'm sorry. I lost myself for a moment. I didn't know who I was or where I was. No, that's not true, I thought I was in the game, the Catacomb game. You cannot release this game, Buckaroo. It is too addicting.
No, Professor, you just have an obsessive personality, said Buckaroo.
Mark my words, said Hikita, Buckaroo Banzai and the Catacombs of Doom will be the death of many people.
You're just tired, said Rawhide.
Maybe you're right, said the small man, I need rest.
_______
The next morning, Hikita entered the bunker to find Rawhide, Perfect Tommy and Buckaroo playing the game.
No, go left, said Rawhide.
Be quiet, said Buckaroo, I can't concentrate if you're shouting in my ear.
You're running out of time, said Perfect Tommy, you've got fifteen seconds and counting.
Well, well, well, said Hikita.
Not now, Hikita, said Buckaroo blasting the last demon and clicking on the door behind it which opened for him. I did it! I reached the fourth level!
All three men hugged and cheered.
Uhh, Buckaroo? said Hikita. The game ...
Oh no! said Buckaroo. I didn't go through the door!
It's closing, said Perfect Tommy.
Crawl under!! screamed Rawhide.
What are the hot-keys for crawling? said Buckaroo.
I don't remember! said Rawhide.
It's too late! said Perfect Tommy.
The door was closed. There was nothing but stillness now and very sad faces. Then Hikita's laughter. They listened as it left the buncker and echoed down the corridors.
Sometimes, said Perfect Tommy, I just can't stand that old man.
