Empty Space
By Regalo3000
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The Radar Blazes were looking at one of the screens in the communications center of World Watch One, at what was an enormous bone-shaped object in space.
What is it? asked Buckaroo.
It seems to be a ship, said the first Radar Blaze. It's in a stationary orbit above the earth.
Is it ours? asked Buckaroo.
Unknown, said the second Radar Blaze. We've tried contacting them with every known type of communications signal but it seems they're being jammed. No contact with the outside world.
Is the thermopod we confiscated during the Red Lectroid Uprising operational yet?
Sure, said the second, but I wouldn't chance it, we still haven't worked out a lot of the bugs in the hardware.
Get it ready to launch, said Buckaroo, I'll see to this myself. And make sure Penny is on the launch pad, I want her to go with me, she needs the experience.
Right, said the second Radar Blaze. Buckaroo stepped out of the communications room.
It's like it's a ghost ship, said the first Radar Blaze.
Ghost ship or not, said the first, I hope that ship doesn't have any automatic defenses we don't know about. The laser weapon on the thermopod broke down long ago. Buckaroo and Penny will be at their mercy.
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Okay, Penny, we're going to start experiencing a little weightlessness.
I hear you, Buckaroo, I'm prepared and strapped down.
The thermopod which was as round as a ball had what looked like wings attached to its sides to aid it in its flight. The ship was leaving the earth's atmosphere and heading for the large bone-shaped ship. The feeling of weightlessness came upon both Buckaroo and Penny.
Satellite now in view, said Banzai. Turning on thermopod searchlights. A searchlight played across the hull of the ship, they could see it on the thermopod's viewscreen. There were no signs of movement.
There's something written on the hull, said Penny, zoom in on that spot there. She pointed at a spot on the viewscreen. Buckaroo zoomed in. Satellite of Love, said Penny. It doesn't ring a bell.
It does to me, said Banzai. The Gizmonic Institute, as evil a group of twisted scientists as you'll ever come across. They actually succeeded in launching their experiment.
What experiment is that? asked Penny.
That was what our spies could not find out, said Buckaroo. The details remained a secret until now. Let's get closer and see if --
-- The viewscreen was suddenly filled with the image of a man who had just come out of a shower, he was rubbing at his head with a towel and suddenly turned to look at Banzai and Penny.
Oh, hi! Hey, guys, we've got visitors! said the man.
Two robots appeared at his side, a tiny bubble-gum machine-type red one, and a thin golden robot with large eyes.
Hey, Mike, said the golden bot, who're they?
Penny said, I'm detecting minute quantities of a chemical substance similar to laughing-gas mixed in with the ship's oxygen. These guys are in no way unhappy.
I beg to differ, said the red robot. There are times when I feel so totally depressed that I'd like to take a hammer to my friend Crow here.
Crow said, The feeling is often mutual.
Hey, Mike, can we keep them, huh? asked the red bot. Can we keep them?
Oh, I don't know, my little red friend, said Mike, they are after all sentient beings and what's the point in keeping a pet that's too smart? They might get into your album collection, go through your magazines, just about make a mess out of everything you own.
I promise to clean up after them, said Tom.
Penny said, We've got a signal coming in!
What kind? asked Buckaroo.
Television Image, replied Penny.
Oh, we've got movie sign! screamed Mike and he hit a button which opened several doors leading him and his bots into a theater where they all sat down to watch a movie.
Penny turned to Buckaroo, saying, It's Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space".
Pure evil, Banzai was saying. Damn the Gizmonics.
I'm detecting mind controlling hardware all over the ship, she was saying. And a cloaking device.
Cloaking? said Buckaroo. Have they really discovered ? --
-- The Satellite of Love disappeared before their very eyes. All that was left was empty space.
Completely disguised! said Penny. It's as if the ship was never there. But it's there all right.
The evil Dr. Forrestor appeared on the viewscreen. Ahh, trespassers! Ahh, if it isn't Buckaroo Banzai! Perfected the oscillation overthruster yet? Are you still years behind any actual worthwhile technological advancement?
I should have known ... Dr. Clayton Forrestor. He's as evil as they come Penny. Release that poor man from your vile experiment!
I will do no such thing, said Forrestor, and you will not remember anything that has transpired from the time you entered space. He pressed a button and a beam of energy shot out from earth and hit the thermopod. He laughed.
Well, Penny, there's nothing out here it seems. World Watch One, what's going on?
The ship is gone, Buckaroo, disappeared off our screens, said the Radar Blaze. This is very weird, Buckaroo.
What is?
Every video recording has been wiped clean. Someone totally cleaned us out. There's no information whatsoever of what we've been doing for the past five hours.
We're returning to earth, said Buckaroo.
How do we classify this sighting then? asked Penny.
I don't know, said Buckaroo. I simply don't know.
