Tue i managed to woke up early @ 7am to pray though i didnt plan to. Felt alot refresh and very happy that i had started the day right, before i began my day. Prayer makes such great differences in my life. I want to start living my life the way it pleases Him. Lesson ended @ 5, then i went to meet my friend for classes in church. And i spent the half hour waiting for my friend to study for my test and i really did finish studying. Amazing. Felt tired and weary but i know i can draw strength from Him, knowing that He never fails. Arrived home @ 11+. Lynn ask me a simple question: are you stress? Then did i realised i was indeed stress! But i shouldnt be stress not even when i have a packed week with 2 tests bcos i should have surrender it to Him. How can i be stress over studies when it shouldnt matter to me. When i know studies dont and shouldnt matters to me. Then i realised i have not let Him take control. I am still holding onto it, trying to achieve good results with my own strength and wisdom when i can ask from Him.
Wed morning lessons. Again. I was very reluntant to wake up, had to dragged myself out of bed. Cant be late cos of test. Last night was a terrible night. Knowing fully well how brain-fried i had been and that my brain is too strain YET i cant get to sleep. In my mind kept coming scenes from yesterday, reminders of things left undone and worries of my insufficient knowledge for the test. Argh. Cant i just rest?! Cant you stupid brain>!
Met for bible study. Well, didnt do QT. Is this how i spent my second day of living life that pleases Him? I just cant but i know and believe His grace is sufficient for me. tried to study but cant get anything in my over-used brain.
thur Morn classes again! in fact a whole day @ it! Test!!! Arghh. But God is good, my test is simple, i think i can get well past passing marks. I just have to ask for wisdom and He will give. Was deciding whether i want to join today's classes in church, and decided not to. Not becos i was tired, oh i am tired but this is not the reason. The reason i wanted to take up today;s class is coz i want to be near Him. Attend classes can let me get near to Him but the better way of being near Him and getting to know HIm is by talking to Him and reading His words. By seeking Him wholeheartedly. This is today and the time is 12:19am which means i am in tomolo and i did not do my QT. Felt so sad and guilty. How come i cant even spend some time with God? But i know He loves me all the same. Nothing that i have done can make Him love me more and nothing that i have ever done can make Him love me less. And i know He is watching over me, telling me its ok, keep trying, learn to dwell in My presence and to seek Me first.
O( ^ . . ^ )O