Had a few unusual msgs as in these friends seldom msg me, and just when i am waiting particularly for a msg, it keeps coming. Everytime the msg tone beeps, i was expectantly looking forward to his msg and was always quite confident but the msg i was waiting for never came.

Maybe it wont come at all. Most probably.

I began to ask myself : did i say anything wrong? Was i too harsh?

I didnt even wanted anything more than friendship in the first place and i believe if it boils down to it, i will still not want it. Yet you know i cant help hoping, even though i know i shouldnt. Even though i have faith that God will provide.

I lie on bed the afternoon and think whether i like the idea of falling in love, or do i really fall for someone so easily if i just wants to love for the sake of love and not bcos of love.

Just like the fact that i couldnt let go of the past. And i seriously wonder whether i subconsciously didnt want to let go. Bcos it seems if you have a past to hold on, it seems like you are someone with a past that is so signifcant. For example a relationship, if i still hold on to the past relationship, it just seems more appealing that at least you once had a nice experience. aw, how should i say it? Sigh i have been using this phrase for so many times liao.

Anyway, i arent going to call him, msg me or email him. Though i keeps coming online to check if he did mail me to explain his sudden absence in my life and mobile. He is the one who started it and now he's the one who's ending it. reminds me of the song "that's why you go away" by MLTR.

Well, i will have to let go. And i know for sure if he is going to be absence from my life then these feelings, and this little knowledge of him will fade.

Maybe ths is why i want to write it down here. Something to remember back. Like i can read back and laugh at myself saying "those were the days"

O( ^ . . ^ )O

How is your day?