My History
I was baptized in water and Spirit since 1996. But it wasn't the time that I've been thoroughly new creation to God. I was not fully filled by the living and abiding Word of God thus I lived the same person as I was not baptized before. For I did not yet understand thoroughly the Good News of God, I turned back into the world and flesh. In other words, I was sorry to backslide.
During my 2nd Year of College in Navotas (yr. 1998-1999) I continued my ROTC thus I did not had the time to attend the Lord's Table Meeting at Malabon. This year and later years (1998-2003), I hardly attend church meeting. I consider these years my darkest years. My parents oftenly opposing each other about financial problem. My mother was in jealeousy of my Father's friend, Teresita. I decided to seek peace and happiness to flee worries behind. I had been friend of drunk ones and drug addict ones. Thus I decided not to attend the church meeting because I was in shame to mingle with them.
I learned romanticism, empiricism, and pragmaticism, socialism, communism, and nationalism in school. Thus, I doubt the existence of God. I decided to depend on myself through working for the money. For I knew money can give me everything I need. Unfortunately, I gained nothing because I lost everything in vain. These experiences were my great sin I had committed and I had been sorry for myself.
I had been sorry so I decided to go back again to church life. It was January, 2004 that I discovered all my fault. I learned from the book, "The Lord's Recovery to Life and Through Life," that in John 15:5 that being apart from Him I can do nothing. Thanks God, my mistakes and sin was revealed to me! Praise the Lord, God has made known to me that I must abide in Him to gain life. I must call the Lord to be saved. I must not depend on myself but on God alone. So, let us steadfastly abide in Him for apart from Him we can do nothing.
This year and later, my points of view, my disposition, and beliefs had changed. I decided to live a new life with the Church. I decided not to go back my oldness and corruptible living before.
I thought it is Jesus Christ who is baptizing me through fire for I have been backslider (Mt. 3:11). I experienced tornment and anguish of life. My mother suffered breast cancer and later died December 21, 2002. My sister, Christina commited suicide and unfortunately with her baby too (April 12, 2004). These tragedies hurts my feeling whenever I remember these. Eventhough these happened to me, I still remain with my Lord Jesus. I still live my church life continually however these happened. For I know whenever you wish to do good, the evil one is closer to you. The evil one I know is always there to pull me down. Suffering is the sign of a true Christian. Every Christian must suffer and take his/her cross if he/she wants to follow God's Word.
Until now I still have the burden to cure my grandmother suffering from her left body's malfunction. She had experienced 'stroke' since December 6, 2002. How pitiful is my situation until now? I know that this is how God disciplines me. These cases I also know, that is how Satan is trying to hinder my salvation. I pray that I won't loss my faith. I must stay alive in spirit through Jesus my Lord. I should overcome the world and I should overcome the evil ones. I must stay and live in faith to the Lord who gave His life up for us.