Born Christopher David Sutton Esq on the 2nd February 1981 this boy was destined to change the world as we know it. As yet he has not succeeded but hey there is still time.
In his 20 years on this earth Christopher D Sutton Esq has in fact achieved little that is worthy of mention on this somehwhat humble corner of the net. However his dashing good looks and unmistakable charm make him worthy, no doubt, of his own little piece of fame and in the eyes of some, notoriety.
So what are the peices that make Christopher D Sutton Esq the completely un-unique person he is? A New Zealander by birth Christopher has spent the majority of his life in the small Norweigan town of Fredrikstad. Rumours abound that he is also a compulsive liar. In fact since he was six years of age Christopher has lived in the general vicinity of Sydney on the east coast of Australia.
It was in Sydney that Christopher was educated and repeatedly corrupted. His times at Neutral Bay Public School were generally spent outside the class room spitting at the younger kids who dared to laugh at the fat kid with the "my mum cuts around the bowl" hair cut. If not found outside class he could generally be found in the girls toilets posing as a Vietnamese hooker called Mingh Lee. It wasn't long before Christopher approached the school gates of Marist College North Shore where he would soon become a part of the school's folk lore, or so he hoped. He was wrong. He was soooooo wrong. In fact the only impression he managed to leave on the place was a was a distinctive and irremovable blood stain on the indoor cricket pitches after he was comprehensively beat up by Josh Singer, the shortest kid in the year, on a balmy afternoon in 1996. Other than that it could be said that Christopher's memories of Marist College North Shore are nothing more than a blurred recolection of numerous sexual partners and ongoing drug and alcohol abuse. That could be said. It would however be completely untrue and full of shit. It sure as hell would have made things a lot more interesting that's for sure.
1998 brought with it Graduation and to the amazement of most Christopher D Sutton Esq not only managed to free himself from the realms of Marist Colleage North Shore but also of the ever present shackles known as underahievement. He kicked arse. Whilst his name may not go down in the history books of time it certainly will remain in the end cubicle of the boys toilets where it was etched one afternoon whilst ditching Modern History. All in all Christopher D Sutton Esq left his schooling career behind him 13 years older than when he started, and still unable to grow a respectable amount of facial hair.
So with secondary education aside Chrisopher D Sutton Esq embarked upon a mission to change the face of man kind as we know it. He soon realised this may be a larger task than first imagined and so he became a telemarketer instead. One may be forgiven for casting telemarketing aside as far as being an occupation with the impact to change lives and enlighten souls but it was here that Christopher D Sutton choose to hang his coat.
In the insuing three years Christopher D Sutton Esq would leave a life full of twists and turns on the road of unpredictability. This road invariably lead to New Zealand once again, Christopher's place of birth and spiritual homeland. Put bluntly, Christopher's spiritual home showed fuck all respect to the icon that was now gracing it's shores. So little respect in fact that 8 months later Christopher D Sutton Esq returned to Fredrikstad.........erm.......I mean Sydney, $4000 in debt and eating the most mouth watering piece of humble pie you've ever seen. Did this act expose Christopher D Suton Esq as a failure or a fraud? Maybe. No one can really answer that yet as he continues to rebuild the segments of his life in order to once again crusade towards world domination.
The road Christopher D Sutton Esq now finds himself on is by no means familiar. The destination he is unsure of. And just how long it will take to reach the mirage in the distance is a question none can claim to know that answer to. One thing, however, is for sure. As Christopher D Sutton Esq begins to focus on a new chapter of his life, one that will take him to the unchartered territory of University education, he will approach it with the same fool hardy attitude and belief that has to this day proven to be his unmistakable trademark.
The world had better watch out - for this is the second coming. Not unlike a mutiple orgasm, Christopher D Sutton Esq is well on the way to climaxing in his chosen field - World Dominator. Smart, funny, charismatic, and undeniably handsome, Christopher D Sutton Esq is a force to be reckoned with.
Remeber the name.................cos god knows you won't forget the face!
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