How to get in touch with us ... ... Before we get any further, let's be clear on a few points. The events we mention are not usually being hosted by us, nor by groups bearing a direct connection to us. If you call and say that you're looking for the group from the Circle by the Lake, and the people there act like they have no idea of what you're talking about - they aren't trying to be cute. They really don't know. So please don't press the issue.

One to one meetings between perfect strangers tend to be awkward and uncomfortable. You stare at each other, you don't know what to say ... and that's not how people have traditionally met each other. People meet each other in social settings, where the conversation gets going before anyone even knows that it has started. It's a good tradition. Let's stick with it.

Generally speaking, you don't find us, we find you. Here's how the game is played. The events mentioned, are ones that we've made a solid commitment to having at least one of us at, or at least one of our friends. You send a letter to Antistoicus telling him that you intend to come. You give him a description, so we'll be able to recognize you. (Unfortunately, we don't have access to a graphical browser yet, so please, no pictures). We'll look for you, and try to get to know you.

This may sound a little strange, but we do have extremely good reasons for doing things this way. If you'd like, we could explain them, and I think you'll see why we decided to do it this way.

Let us emphasize - you have to send that letter. If you approach one of our members, instead of the reverse, and ask him if he is the contact, we'll be positively impressed with your insightfulness, but he'll lie point blank and say he isn't. We're a semi-underground group, albeit a friendly one. So, please don't try to blow our cover for us, OK?

After we've met you at a few meetings, and we're comfortable with each other, we'll invite you over, if we think that our group might be right for you. If not, you've still met an entirely different group, so it's not like it's a waste of time, right? If the fit seems to be a good one, we'll invite you to join. If you're not interested, no hard feelings, and you're still invited to any functions we hold. We simply ask that you not tell anyone who, specifically, we are, or that the event you were at, was one of ours.

Yes, this is kind of roundabout, and maybe it even sounds a little paranoid, but it's our way of screening out difficult people. You may find that the cost in hassle in the beginning, is more than compensated for by the diminishment in hassle later on. If you happen to like the group we meet through - we encourage you to join that one, too. We will be meeting during the off times when other groups tend not to - the half moons, instead of the full or new moons, for example - and so conflicts are not likely to be a problem. Given that the promotion of peaceful social networking would be one of our primary goals, we would see the overlap in membership as being a good thing.

Note : How times do change. Sometimes, because some people won't.

Click here to return to the "Why we don't schmooze".