What is Reality Check? What will we be doing? And why are we excluding women and the elders? Are we some kind of covert homosexual cult carrying on lurid sex rituals in our parent's garage attics? And will we use condoms?

We might very well end up using condoms, but only because they make surprisingly good water balloons. Think of a bachelor party, only without the sex and strippers. Will gods be honored here? Of course. We're Polytheists. But the gods to be honored will be ones like Hermes and Loki who can be honored in a light-hearted fashion. The trickster deities, protectors of travellers who have always had to survive using their wits. In a city where we find ourselves surrounded by strangers, as uprooted as we have been, what else can we call ourselves but travellers? Besides which, Ares can be a really mean drunk.

Question : How can you waste so much time on silliness, when there is so much suffering and disease and starvation and warfare and hate in the world and sexism because I saw this total football team hunk who wouldn't go out with me just because I wear an A cup, no scratch that, let's get back on the starvation and hate...

..Answer : Honey, take two motrin and call me in the morning.

What's the point to life if nobody's allowed to enjoy it?

You want a serious answer? Fine. Is the desire for a few giggles a worthy one? Is frivolity important? Yes. When we avoid serious issues, and just have a few laughs, cultural clashes that normally leave us at each other's throats with no basis in place for deciding whose values will be used for conflict resolution become a source of humor, instead. So little is at stake that real anger would just make us feel foolish. So humor becomes the bridge between different cultures and different paths that allows us to get to know each other well enough, that we can enter other cultures as visitors and know how to handle more serious matters. This, ironically enough, is why Political Correctness is a failure : in the name of seeking peace at any price, it closes off the one route to real peace that exists. It trades in our freedom in exchange for a prize that it keeps us from claiming. It keeps the anger that is used as an excuse for its suppression of the individual alive, by keeping us from learning how to talk things out and come to an equitable compromise, instead of resorting to force.

This is the paradox at the heart of human nature that far too many of our women never seem to get, or bring themselves to accept : that in order to find real peace, we must be willing to walk up to the edge of conflict and peer in. Humor has to walk on the edge of the unacceptable, of the shocking, or it isn't humor at all, and if we're always deadly afraid that somebody might mind, we aren't capable of bringing ourselves up to that brink. We end up like the overweight patient who reasons that since he feels better today because he passed on doing a little exercise, that a lifetime of sloth will make him feel wonderful. We fail to see that short term comfort does not always make for long term well-being.

It's a lose-lose proposition, and why we're showing the elders and the women the door. Let's be honest now, instead of being sensitive. When one of the elders walks in the door, do you find yourself feeling more relaxed or less relaxed? The question answers itself, doesn't it? All that you ever hear from these guys is who it is that they hate this week and why - and usually the real reason is because the other person has done something to get attention that they want. How much fun is it to listen to that? As for a lot of the women in our Heathen lives, let's be blunt. They expect us to be Alan Alda. The elders and others who expect us to snap to attention when they speak have learned that they can often get to us by going through our women, who expect us to back down because they can't cope. "Cave in or I'll leave you" is the unspoken message", and it's a little hard to relax when you're getting that from your girlfriend or your wife. To be sure, not all of our mates are like that, but if I start making exceptions ... would you want to be the one to say "yeah, John, we're letting Bill's girlfriend drop by, but not your wife, because she's not as cool"? Or how about being John when he comes home and his wife asks why she wasn't invited? It's a can of worms best left unopened.

More than a few of us could use a vacation to get away from the nagging, and that's why we have our "Boys' Night Out", where just like in a fraternity it's understood that what goes on at the meetings isn't talked about elsewhere. "But real fraternities hold parties with ... with girls and beer, you geek". And we might too, but just like at a fraternity, a meeting and a party are two different things and there are different kinds of parties. If you'd like to join this group, either use our mailform or much better, sign up for Trollheim Central and make a post indicating your interest. When I see your message, I'll set up a meeting and we'll get in touch. Don't worry about the meeting too much. This isn't like rushing a frat or interviewing for a job. I'm not going to be out there looking for excuses to reject you. Mainly, I just want to make sure that you're not going to be a pain or a nutcase (in a bad way) before inviting you to go drinking with us. Yes, I am a conservative, so please leave the activism at home.

This page is being hosted on the Almond Jar. The image of the coyote comes courtesy of the Michigan Department of Natural Resources and no, you shouldn't pet them, even if they do look like dogs.